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Scotcha

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About Scotcha

  • Birthday 08/20/1982

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  1. My aunt now is married to her high school sweetheart. They were both married to other people for 10+ years. There was no affair or scandle or anything like that, it just took that long for things to fall into place. But I wouldn't let stories like this be a reason to hold onto hope. They're cute but all too uncommon.
  2. I remember this thread... It's got good advice inside.
  3. I liked this. And I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. And I mean that truly as a compliment because I'm very picky about poetry. Well put.
  4. My fiance and I have different religious beliefs so we are getting married by a Justice of the Peace. You don't have to get married in a church or a courthouse though both are options. You can get married practically anywhere you want. My wedding is going to be in a cave. Some places even do little elopement wedding and honeymoon combinations for a really good price. In our vows we are not promising God that we will love each other.. We are promising each other. You can even write your own vows if you want to or do a search online and see if you can find anything you like.
  5. It isn't really up to you or your friend.. It is up to to girl you both happen to like..
  6. You've already spent 18 years of your life on this woman who wouldn't, couldn't, and didn't want to commit. Don't ever settle for being the fall back guy again. Go out there and find someone you can have a real relationship with. A tangible one.. And one that doesn't end every time your partner gets interested in somebody else. I think it's good you never put forth the effort to move to her area because she obviously didn't respect the relationship. I think once you move on you'll find yourself to be much happier.
  7. Are you sure his ex girlfriends really did cheat on him and lie to him? From the sounds of it.. He has a lot to work on before he can handle a relationship. I agree.. I'd rather be alone and happy too.
  8. I can't really answer your question. The only small piece of advice I can offer is to tell you that what ever choice you make, neither is a gaurntee of being truly happy. I suppose you are going to have to look at what each choice has to offer and determine what difference those differences mean to you.
  9. Well, I'm not a guy but at one time I was a single mother. I have never dated anyone with kids.. But that's not because I have any prejudice against a man who has children, it's just the way it worked out. I can say though that there have been guys who didn't want to date me because I have a child. I can also say that there are many guys who wanted to date me. Some people can handle the extra responsibility, some people would rather not. To me though, being a parent has never made someone more attractive or dateable to me... It has more to do with how my son is treated. Also.. I was cautious about getting serious with anyone, because of my son. I never thought it was fair to have a man involved in my child's life unless spending our lives together was certain. The only man my son has loved besides his father is the man who is going to be his step dad in a few short months. I can see though why single parents would prefer to date other single parents. There is a lot of responsibility that comes with raising a child and it would put both people at a similar place in their lives.
  10. When guys tell you that they're not looking for a relationship.. It means they will likely end up doing exactly what this guy did. He was up front about it actually.. I am sorry but I also don't feel you should let this get you so down. Chalk it up to a learning experience. ps.. It's for the very same reason that you posted that I never sleep with someone unless we are in a committed relationship. I think a lot of people can relate to your experience.
  11. I've never taken lightly to getting blown off. It's not about you having to understand that "plans change", it's about her respecting the plans she's made with you, or at least being honest about her reasons for cancelling. I don't think you were wrong at all here. I would tell her that you understand that she wants and needs to hang out with her friends and have fun but that in the future she needs to honor the plans she makes with you. I make plans with my friends all the time.. But never when I have something previously planned with my fiance. He blew me off once in our entire relationship and he was warned right then and there that if it ever happened again for any reason short of an emergency that it would be the end of our relationship. Like I said, I don't take getting blown off lightly. I don't think you should be the one apologizing.
  12. A high school degree is better than a GED. A college degree trumps them both. If you were planning to continue your education, in your situation I would suggest taking your GED. If you don't plan on going to college or plan on going to a college with very competitive admissions I would suggest getting your diploma.
  13. There are different kinds of love. Even the love you have for your children is very different than the love you have for your SO. I am sure the way she loves music is very different than the way she loved you. I do think it was an overreaction on your part... Words have multiple meanings in our language.
  14. I am getting married this summer. I hope and pray that his way of spicing things up will not include stepping outside of our marriage. To further answer your question: Both an affair and a hook-up would be a betrayal to your husband. It does not really matter what the difference is in your situation. One is not more justifiable than the other.. There is no "lesser of two evils". You were correct in your first response.. To either work on your marriage or end it.
  15. A new connection with someone is always exciting.. Fantastic.. Thrilling.. But what about when that connection isn't so new anymore? Is your marriage really worth a feeling so fleeting? Have you talked to your husband about what is missing in your marriage? Perhaps you can regain that emotional connection with him... You would need to give him a fighting chance though which would mean to end your affair. (And to answer your original question.. An affair can be emotional, physical, or both while one or both individuals is "committed" to another. A hook-up is a one time occurrence, at least according to the slang in my area.)
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