deejay74

Dear, S. Today would've been our 1 year anniversary. It's been nearly 2.5 months since you left me and I am still not over everything. I am pretty sure you have moved on and possibly even found someone else already. I miss you but I know that we could never work out. I am sorry I destroyed what ever link we had between us after the break up. I'm still very upset about what I did and hope that someday you can forgive me. Yes, I hope to hear from you someday, but I am slowly accepting that may never happen. I wonder if you're thinking about me/us today. Take care, DJ

Hi S, I know you have a lot of anger and resentment towards me, especially from what I've done after the break up. I've never hit an all time low, and I don't know if you could ever understand what that's like. I did things that I seriously regret. I just don't want you to harbor any anger towards me. We loved each other a lot and called each other "the one". We planned on getting married and we even got an apartment together, but you left me with it. I'll never try to get you back because I know it wouldn't work and I know you don't want me. I just don't want to have any hateful feelings towards me. I am trying to accept that we may never be friends or be in each other's lives. You did a lot of sh*tty things to me both during and after the relationship, and I forgive you. I forgive myself for what I've done after the break up and that's all I ask of you. I truly wish that you are happy, moving on, and not in any pain. If it's any consolation, I have not moved on completely yet. I still miss you and think about the good times we've shared. I had never been so happy with anyone in my life, regardless of your flaws. It hurts me that my flaws were too much for you to handle and you ran away 5 times. I hope some day you will learn what commitment means because when you are in a committed relationship, it feels really good. I know because I've been in a relationship like that. I hope that you're not in any pain, that you're moving on and finding happiness and peace. I hope to get to that place soon. Take care, I still think about you and I do care about you. - DJ

man, i can't believe i am starting to regress. i had been so strong. this break up has been the best for me regarding NC but for some reason, the loneliness and the void i feel seems like it's getting worse. i was really proud of myself but i feel myself getting weaker. i've been making a list of all the things i didn't like about her and the relationship and it was long! i even wrote down my feelings of being lonely and i know, intellectually, this feeling i have right now isn't really about my ex. but it can get so confusing! she tried to contact me a few times but i ignored her. she knows i am ignoring her. yet, i want her to contact me again. but, i know i will not get what i want or hear what i want to hear. but i still want to speak to her! this is nuts! i memorized her contact info (not on purpose) so even though i deleted it all, i know it's her when she tries to text me or call me. i also know her email address and AIM by heart. i wish i could erase that part of my memory. luckily i decided to remove myself off of FB before this break up happened. i will not contact my ex, i will not contact my ex, i will not contact my ex...

this is true but your past experiences make up the person you are now. my ex told me she slept with over 40 guys. OVER 40!!! some of them were older men in their 40s and she's only 28. after dating her, i will NEVER date another female who's been with more than 20. my ex still is the same way even though she claimed, while with me, that she wasn't like that anymore. she's a selfish person and obviously can be substantiated on her past sexual history. i firmly believe she cheated on me and left me for someone else. she claimed that she wasn't like that anymore and needed "to fill a void in her life with sex" back then. she also had 2 abortions. i am glad i know this because i know the person she is, even though when she told me i believed she changed because she said she did. my how i was fooled. i know my post here will cause controversy but this is my experience. other girls whom i've dated, or just were friends with, who've slept with many men (i.e.; over 30) were all emotionally or mentally unstable or had some real issues that needed to be dealt with. ALL OF THEM. i know that some of you women who have been with over 20 or 30 guys will claim you're perfectly normal. perhaps a bit hornier than most other women? i think guys who've been with many, many women have issues as well. i don't think it's a bad thing to ask your significant other how many sexual partners they've had. it's for your own safety too. i have no quams about admitting my sexual past, albeit it isn't that much. only 15. and because these people who've had over 30, 40, 50, or more sexual partners means that if you slept with them with no protection, than you're sleeping with all their partners too. so yes, it does involve you even though they didn't know you or have any emotional ties or loyalties to you. lastly, i feel that women who have had many sexual partners would not care that much about me, and being intimate with me, because of their past. that's how i felt with my ex. it's not about quantity, but quality. and ironically, my ex was the biggest bore in bed.

thanks for everyone's responses and thanks for sharing your online dating experiences. from what everyone has said, i know what to expect or not to expect and how to go into the whole "meeting" experience.

hmm, i don't see why it's an odd presumtion. the presumtion is that you found me attractive on my profile and found some thing interesting about me via my interests/personality sections and thereforeeee got in touch with me on a DATING site in hopes of *something* happening. i don't believe people on dating sites get in touch with others with out the hope of a spark. otherwise, what's the point? ok, so you didn't have any full body shots. that's ok but i'm not the only male who will think that there may be something you're trying to hide even though you may not be. it's like those people who post pics of themselve that have all these effects and filters on, or sometimes it's an obscure shot of them from a distance. i am not photogenic but i have multiple shots from multiple angles so that you can get a pretty good idea of how i look. it's only fair. i mean, did you guys read the fact that i am going to meet up with this girl? if i was going strictly by her photos, i may not. i am just saying that it throws up a yellow flag for me. i also said i am taking a chance here. yeah you gave your height and weight, but you could also be lying or exaggerating. it's like those short guys who say they're taller than they are or saying you're younger than you really are. i plan on meeting with this girl. the whole point of my post was trying to think of something to say to take the pressure off the both of us. it's a potentially awkward situation.

only if you have a myspace tracker. i had one that used to work, now it doesn't. those people who you see posting on other profiles saying "check out this tracker" aren't posting those messages. i read the "terms and agreements" for some of those tracker sites and in it, it states that if you agree to their terms, they will log into your account and post ads on other's profiles for their tracker. ever since then, i don't use them. friendster, however, has a built in feature that lets you see who's looked at your profile. but obviously, if you're not a member of either site and you're just browsing, they won't be able to tell who you are other than your IP address and what city you're from.

because as i said in my original post, i am on a DATING site, not a site to make FRIENDS. Answersguy: you hit the nail on the head, i couldn't have said it better myself. Zombian, thanks for your response. i will do what you've suggested and take it very casually. CarnelianButterfly: do you think i would tell her "oh by the way, i think you're fat and uglier than what you look like in person so it's not gonna work out." all i suggested saying was if there isn't a spark when we meet IN PERSON, then i wouldn't be offended and i hope she wouldn't be. all i was trying to do, is to take the pressure off of both of us in case she didn't find me attractive in person either. i think you totally missed that part. i am sorry, actually i am not. i am being honest and physical attraction is important, even for you ladies. you're in denial if you say it's not and you need to take a more honest look at yourself. for some of you ladies, it may not be on the top of the list, but it is in the top 5, i guarantee it. answersguy said "I tried to date a big girl friend that has a great personality, when it came time for sex, I wasn't attracted and couldn't get it up. She cried for weeks and then I realized why attraction is so important neither one of us deserved that and it was my fault for going with the advice of female friends like you telling me to give her a chance even though the attraction was lacking." - i've tried this too and the attraction just wasn't there so i rest my case we are attracted to what we're attracted to. end of story really. some people don't think asian guys are attractive. i am half asian but look distinctly asian (to me) but if you don't find me attractive cuz i look asian, then hey, so be it. that's the way it is, i am not going to be offended.

this woman messaged me on this one dating site i am on. she got in touch with me first. we had exchanged a few messages via the website and now it's moved onto emails. we seem to have had good conversations and in her last email, she included her phone number and said we should meet at some point. from what i have seen from her pics, she seems ok - attractive wise. personality wise, it seems like we'd get along although i don't know how much we'd have in common. i am kind of taking a chance on her and seeing what happens with no real expectations. well i guess there are *some* expectations as she did get in touch with me on a dating site, not a friendship site. in her pictures, she only has shots of her from the waist up, and in my experience, that usually means she's hiding something that she doesn't want people to notice. but whatever. anyway, i was thinking about saying that if we meet up and there's no spark or attraction for either of us, then there would be no hard feelings from me and i hope none from her. i am hoping that this would take some pressure off meeting up. i have had experiences where i have met someone from online and they look very different from their photos - worse, not better. so is that a bad thing to say? please let me know. thanks!

you're right, fighting won't fix it. and don't be too sure you'll kick his * * * * *. things would be 10x's worse if he kicked yours. and then not only will he have "hooked up" with your ex, but you'd get a beat down as well. and then your ex will definitely hear about it and then what? oh yeah, it might backfire and your ex will think you're not over her and possibly give her a huge ego boost. confront him, sure. but fight him over it? that's really immature.

i repeat. i never bought and i believe that was the original asking price. the video has been out for a while, have you thought about the fact that maybe they lowered the price b/c not many people had been buying at that price? it's been on link removed for that much before. anyway, the cost isn't really the main issue here.

i never bought it. i think that's the originally selling price.

of course it's not "magic" but they sure put this *mystical* atmosphere throughout the whole movie. remember the alladin scene? you can see it in the movie clip on youtube. i posted the link about 3 posts previous to this. remember them saying it's esentially the same? "your wish is my command"?! again, i got the overall gist but there are certainly some laughable parts in there. those of you who watch it, keep your filters on because there are some absurd moments in there. also, notice how all the "experts" have all these titles and fancy acronyms underneath their names. i don't even recognize half of their "credentials". keep in mind the price of the DVD as well. $50 is pretty steep, don't you think? it's no secret that positive thoughts will attract positve things in your life. if you truly believe that you will achieve what you want, then you will. how is this a secret? yeah, we're all made up of energy and everything in the universe, including stars, are all made of the same particles. thereforeeee, everything is connected. your thoughts resonate a certain frequency that is broadcast to the world and the world will eventually, in some way or another, answer those frequencies that you put out. please send $50 to my paypal account. i have just presented you the entire "secret" dvd. (i am totally kidding).

true. i somewhat believe that "energy" stuff they preached about. but the most absurd portion is about what i mentioned above about the guy who thought about checks coming in the mail. i literally laughed out loud when he said that. "checks just started to appear in the mail"! hahaha!! if it were only that easy. and pigs just started to fly because that's what i imagined and "visualized"!!! where did these checks come from?

i will tell you what the "secret" is. i have the video, somoeone burned a copy for me cuz i wasn't about spend the $50 on it. i watched it, got the overall gist, but i have a few problems with it. basically everything in your life, whether positive or negative, has come your way because you have attracted it. if you think positive thoughts, then positive things will come your way. but wait, there's more. if you want to get what you want out of life, you have to visualize and truly believe that you already have what you want. the example they give is there is this guy who wants this sportscar. so everyday, he goes home and pretends he's driving the car. they show him getting in his chair, closing his eyes, and pretending to drive the car. it even goes so far as to show him with his hands on an imaginary steering wheel and imaginary gear shifter. he goes through the motions in shifting. and guess what? low and behold sometime later he gets his car. then they show they show this guy who seems somewhat paranoid that his bicycle is going to get stolen. so he takes the necessary precautions, such as chaining his bike to a pole with a lock, but his bike gets stolen. their reasoning is that he imagined his bike being stolen and since that's what dominated his thoughts, it came true. i mean, are you serious??? so all these people who lock their doors, cars, etc actually WANT someone to steal their property? or they're going to attract a thief into their life because they are thinking about how to avoid it? then wouldn't everyone who's ever locked their belongings get their stuff stolen? also, there's this other gentleman who was in debt. all he could think about was being in debt and how to get out of that debt. well, according to the video, he remained in debt because that's all that he could think about. so he says he started thinking about getting money. he took a bank statement where he only had like $200 dollars in his account. he took that statement, added a comma after the last zero and added more zeroes. he tacked that up where he could see and and thought about living like he had that much money. and, accorinding to his words, "checks just started to appear in the mail" YEAH RIGHT!! there are other really "new agey" things in here but i do have to agree with the overall message: think positively and that's what you'll attract. i hope this helps.