brandos lovechild

I see. You are worried you won't find anyone that can produce the kind of gut churning emotions that this ex could. I get that as well. I still lose feeling in my legs and my head goes dizzy whenever i pass my ex that i fell out with...despite the fact that she treated me terribly. All girls that have come since fail to raise any enthusiasm in me. However,the reason we find it hard to let go of the ones that treat us badly is because when we are hurt alot...we confuse it with a romantic struggle. E.g " This feels worse than hell..it must be true love or i wouldn't feel like this." If we are hurt..then it must be worth fighting for. Otherwise you wouldn't bother right? There is also the sad fact that we sometimes tell ourselves that if this person finds it so easy to treat me like s-hit..they must be too good for me. More motivation to take the punishment ! Like i said before..perhaps you don't value yourself enough to cut this female off. You should do something to boost your self-esteem like going to a gym or something. Nothing would help you better than to casually walk past her as her mouth drops and her eyes widen because you have been working out for months. To look her in the eye and send the telepathic message " BIG MISTAKE!"...it would be an instant cure to your troubles. Trust me. Don't do it to win her back...you'd do it to prove that you are too good for her and hopefully so you can start finding someone better. Hope this helped.

The best advice i can give you would be to try looking at your situation from the point of view of an outsider. Would you want some female doing this to a brother or father of yours ? Of course you wouldn't,because you would want what's best for them instead of this kind of emotional turmoil. If the treatment you are receiving from this ex of yours wouldn't be good enough for someone you love...why should you eat it up like pac man ? I know it sounds soppy and cheesy..but you obviously don't love yourself or value yourself very highly if you are putting up with such bad treatment. I think perhaps you have convinced yourself that you are right for this woman and she is right for you...but you aren't facing reality. Women who love you and think you are the perfect guy for them DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS !! She is keeping you hanging around until she finds a replacement. BEST THING TO DO: Forget about her and don't feel sorry for yourself. Suck it up,get ANGRY if it helps. But realise that you and her are history. P.S I'm guessing you are quite young by the way you dealt with this female. As you get older and more experienced,you will recognise good and bad signs in a relationship more easily. GOOD LUCK

I don't think he wants marriage...i just think he wants to be sure he isn't wasting his time with a girl who would go a bit further if she was drunk. Bro,listen to me,my first ever girlfriend sounds SOOO similar to Your curent girlfriend. She will feed off of your hurt for 2 reasons : 1. Ego boost..seeing you upset means that she is very special to someone (you). 2. Takes both of you out of the comfort zone..a relationship isn't stale if it is frought with emotional distress. Both of these add up to one thing. She is a drama queen,and you have alot of tears in front of you. I bet she started doing this as soon as you told her you "loved her"..am i right ? You aren't a challenge to her anymore,so she can push the boundaries of what is acceptable because she thinks you will never leave her. WHAT TO DO : I think it's too late to start flirting with girls and giving her a taste. That just turns a drama queen into a psycho. I AM NOT BEING FUNNY,I'M SERIOUS. If you start playing games on an insecure female,they will make your life a hell. I did this with my drama queen girlfriend and when she couldn't take what she had given to me for so long....she went around telling everyone i used to beat her up,whilst crying down the phone to reconcile with me in her spare time. DRAAAMMAAA QUEEENNNN ! IF SHE DOES IT AGAIN (flirting) : say to her " when you flirt like this,i find it a real turn-off. The more you do it,the more unattractive you are to me." Then walk away from her. She, in her confused mind, thinks her flirting is ACTUALLY ADDING SPICE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP. I kid you not. Letting her know you find her less attractive because of it should make a big change..hopefully. REMEMBER : Do not get aggressive,stay calm so that she can't act the victim of an irrational boyfriend. ( The drama queen's main defence). Hope i helped,i've been there before trust me. Good luck 8)

How can you trust someone like that ? She knows she's flirting and she knows that she is getting to you. You say she went really defensive and acted all hurt when you questioned her motives ? Classic response from someone who likes playing games. Bro, she thinks she has got you well under the thumb and is fully blown taking you for granted. She is TOO DAMN COMFORTABLE in your relationship,she needs to understand that you demand respect or else. I will tell you exactly what she was doing that night.... She is perhaps feeling a little bored. She sees this cute looking guy she knows and decides it is time to start stirring things up for excitement purposes...and no better way than to see her boyfriend's vulnerability rise to the surface...a lovely little ego boost for her ! So she makes it as clear to you as possible that she is interested in this guy..IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE FOR GOD'S SAKES !! WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE : picked an occasion when your gf and this guy were in hearing distance. Walked straight up to him and said " I think you've got an admirer and she's sitting there (point to her)...you can look after her tonight because i've had enough ! " .....AND walked out proudly. She would have gone a beetroot colour..and come trotting after you acting all innocent. HERE'S A TIP FOR FUTURE...Don't get too aggressive because your gf can then act like the victim of the situation and turn things round on you. Just speak calmly and let her know that losing her would be a wait off of your shoulders. IF IT WERE ME...i'd lose her bro,no matter how good the sex is. But i've come accross this type of woman MANY MANY times and i know how malignant they can be. Perhaps you are blinded by love for her and can't see it...but you will. BE STRONG...DO NOT ACCEPT HER TEARS OR PROTESTS,THEY ARE NOT SINCERE,SHE JUST KNOWS THAT THEY WORK A TREAT ON YOU. GOOD LUCK BRO 8)

What i mean is,these types of girls are usually attention ho's..not a great recipe for trust !

hello mar,thankyou. I understand. It was very weak of me to be so uncouth towards her. I couldn't help myself from swearing because i could sense her indifference to what had upset me. Because i have experienced what being truly appreciated and respected feels like..if im made to feel the opposite,i just CANT RATIONALISE or control my outbursts. The thing is,if i had hung around her much longer while she was carrying that defiant,expressionless face..i would have only walked out anyway,so i don't feel guilty for leaving while i was away from her presense. I'm glad to be receiving reassurance that i kinda was within my rights to do what i did. She still hasn't got in touch..either because she's mad that i left her,or because i told her to leave me alone. The good thing is..i can stand by my conviction+have a clear conscience...nevermind how she sees what happened ! Just one more thing..im likely to bump into her next friday. I'm thinking i should just smile nicely at her+then move away. What do you think?

Thanks very much Swingfox. The trouble is..she spends so many nights out with her friends in bars and clubs,far more nights than she spends with me. If she wanted to flirt,why couldn't she do it on her own time with her friends..not during a date with me? When i read your response,i started questioning whether i had overreacted with her? She hadn't kissed him or anything. However,i have always been taught to judge your partner on her actions and not her words. A girlfriend who doesn't take you for granted wouldn't have done that surely? You have inspired me to mend my actions in future with other girls. I will imitate her behaviour. If a girl starts flirting with another guy for a minute..i'll find a girl to flirt with for 2 minutes. Who knows,i could really connect with the girl im flirting with ? My mother always said to me..." if you are with a date and she stops to have a conversation with a member of the opposite sex..let her ask 'how are you?' 'how is so and so...' 'how's work?'. If the chat goes further than that while you are standing around like an idiot..you walk away and let her know if she wants to catch up,she can do it in her own time ! " I TRULY AGREE WITH THIS. I waited around whilst she was whispering in his ear and had her back turned to me. How rude is that right ? I dunno. I'm gonna still be friends with her but i will hide my attraction as best as i can. Need to look for another girl,get my sex life restarted. I think my virginity is growing back. ha ha LOL. Thankyou 8)

hey everyone, About 4 days ago i broke up with my girlfriend of 4 months(although we had been close friends for much longer). We hadn't seen eachother for a fortnight and made arrangements to go on a dinner date and then go into town for drinks. The dinner was wonderful,we were joking and laughing..it felt like a first date! Then we went into town and decided to head to a bar,a regular haunt of my girlfriend and her buddies. To get into this bar,there are one set of double doors..then a doorman..then another set of double doors..then the actal room. We walked through the first couple of doors and i went to the second lot and opened the door for myself and then for her. She had stopped to chat to the doorman,i guess they were well acquainted. I stood there holding the door open for her but she didn't seem any nearer to being ready as i waited. She was now very close to him (she was not drunk at all by the way)..whispering in his ear whilst having her back turned to me..giving him her undivided attention. I waited a few moments later whilst they continued exchanging whispers+laughs and then i just walked on through to the bar by myself. Now looking back,i wished she could have at least introduced me if she was that friendly with him! She must have heard the door close as she came trotting over to me. Her first words were " you made me jump slamming the door like that!" ..then a few moments later with a frown on her face she said.. " what's wrong?". I responded saying " YOU ! Just chatting away like that. You'd still be talking to him now if you hadn't heard the door close. Im sorry that this is a date and im your boyfriend being an inconvenience." I hadn't even slammed the bloody door. As i said it,she just looked ahead with an emotionless look on her face. I ordered myself a drink,swallowed it in one and took off on my own without her knowledge. I then got a call 20 mins later,but i was already on my way home at that point. I msgd her saying " i felt a total pr1ck just standing there. Do u think if it had been 3 weeks instead of a fortnight you might have just said hello+how r u to the doorman instead. You aint a girlfriend,you are a f *ckin pain in the ass. Leave me alone." She hasn't got in touch. I was just listening to Bob Dylan's 'lay lady lay' today and the tears were streaming down my face. I still love her but i can't let my pride take any battering. All my friends and family say that she was completely out of order for being so rude and taking me for granted. They also don't understand why i hang around even though we haven't slept together (shes a virgin,im not..were both under 20). I guess that's what love is about i suppose. Just want to thank anyone who has read this far and i would be extremely grateful 4 responses..good or bad. Just want to know if i was harsh or if im right to expect the same respect and affection i give to her. THANKYOU

It means that this girl is not interested. Women will still flirt and be nice to guys they aren't interested in. She is keeping his hopes up..possibly because she doesn't want to be disliked by him as she knows she has led him on up til now. If a girl is romantically interested..she answers the calls !!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HIM TO IGNORE HER FLIRTING. I bet she doesn't bother asking why he doesn't respond to her flirting..she'll realise her false hope tactics have been spoiled. However,if she asks why he is ignoring her..she 'might' be interested.

Also..try remembering that what is happening is positive. You've probably just released about 100+ pounds of $hit down the toilet and away from you. That's how you should view this skank. If you try hard enough,you can convince yourself to enjoy this new time apart. You are a NEW SINGLE man about town...go and take a look at what's out there without having to worry about drinking too much or flirting with girls and getting numbers anymore. Life is too short to be made a fool of...get out there and make her look the fool for fu(king you around k ? Good luck and remember..women are nationwide and we've all got about 10,000 soulmates out there. The skank you don't have anymore... wasn't one of them. 8)

hiya DREAM, i'm glad ur listening to guys advice as well. The girls that tend to tell you that the bf is insecure and needs to sort himself out..those females do not have lasting relationships because they don't understand men. Tell your boyfriend that you are in no way attracted to this friend ( i hope you aren't ). If this guy starts flirting with you or winding your boyfriend up again..he is a nasty piece of work ! Cut off the friendship ! I have been in the same situation as your boyfriend,which is why i said i empathised with him in my earlier post...so has johnnyt. The thing that made me REALLY angry was not so much the other guy's attempt to steal her away or flirt with her....it was the fact that she saw it affected me and she fed off of the drama. She didn't reassure me or put me first and she didn't tell the guy to stop doing it. REMEMBER : Everyone says "friends are forever,but partners will come and go." Friends aren't forever,you get rid of them when they become a$$holes. Your boyfriend is probably feeling that he has no control over the situation..and men hate feeling like that. oh hang on, had a thought, why not tell your boyfriend to have a word with this guy ? If i was your boyfriend (he sounds very similar to me emotionally) and you were kind of dismissing my concerns out of hand..i'd go and talk to this friend and make him understand that if he steps out of line...he's gonna get hurt. So basically..tell your bf that you aren't attracted to this friend in the slightest and if there is still a problem..then he should go and sort it out for himself instead of nagging at you. Hope i helped..i kind of lost sympathy for your bf when i realised he hasn't actually done anything to make himself feel better and more assured. He should talk to your friend. Good luck xxx Good luck xxx

6 TIMES ? 6 ? TIMES ? I think Gilgamesh answered appropriately. You should just leave or he should just leave. I mean it's hardly Romeo and Juliet stuff is it .

YOU have to create a physical spark and soon ! She is probably feeling a little silly and confused because you haven't made a move yet . POOR GIRL ! If she didn't want to be with you physically,i'm pretty confident she wouldn't have agreed to date you. SO HERE'S WHAT OU MUST DO : Next time you are with her,and the situation and surroundings are appropriate...or even if it's in the supermarket..........KISS HER !! Don't excuse it or say " is it ok if i kiss you " cos even tho you are nervous,she will see you as lame. Just make her laugh as much as you can,and when she's stopped laughing..GO IN FOR THE KISS. You got to do it bro,....Losers let things happen...winners make things happen ! GOOD LUCK 8)

YOU have to create a physical spark and soon ! She is probably feeling a little silly and confused because you haven't made a move yet . POOR GIRL ! If she didn't want to be with you physically,i'm pretty confident she wouldn't have agreed to date you. SO HERE'S WHAT OU MUST DO : Next time you are with her,and the situation and surroundings are appropriate...or even if it's in the supermarket..........KISS HER !! Don't excuse it or say " is it ok if i kiss you " cos even tho you are nervous,she will see you as lame. Just make her laugh as much as you can,and when she's stopped laughing..GO IN FOR THE KISS. You got to do it bro,....Losers let things happen...winners make things happen ! GOOD LUCK 8)

Brilliant post Princess