drdread233

First of all I want to say that it's been about 4 months since my ex and I broke up. However, we've actually moved on to being best friends. Like, we are extremely close friends and we feel comfortable talking to each other about every single thing. Including relationships. I also want to mention that I do not have any more feelings for her. But whenever we talk about relationships, I always end up secretly thinking of this one moment in our relationship before we broke up. It was basically how she treated the breakup......basically for the last few weeks of it, she lead me on. She knew that she had stopped liking me, but kept playing me on.....and for about a month, she knew that I was trying to get something together with her because I hadn't seen her in a while alone. She said yes originally, then at the end she decided it would be a good idea to back out of it, asking to go to another friend's party. That really made me angry at the time, but every time I think about it now, it still really bothers me. Anyone else still get things like this? I mean, it's in the past, and it was a long time ago and we're amazing friends now. But this one thing never seems to stop bugging me.

Ok, so this is WHILE we are making out? Wouldn't I be in really close proximity with her? Where am I going to find the room to move my arms there? And yes I apologize again for the dumb question haha, some things I just need brutal straight-forwardness for.

Ok, I feel really stupid asking this, but I'll be honest....you guys have to pretend that I am dumb as bricks. You have to be straight forward and obvious when you answer this. But I was talking with a good friend of mine about taking it to the next level with my girlfriend. And she was referring to her and her boyfriend. But the way she was describing taking it to the next level, it sounded like they stop and tell each other "ok, let's do this now". I know my gf wants to move it up a notch, I've seen the signs. But I want to have a smooth transition. Ok, now here's some really stupid questions. First, I've been told that the next step after kissing/making out is just making out, but now with the touching of genital parts through the clothes, etc. Is this a safe assumption? If so, I'm thinking....how am I doing this if I'm making out with her?? Like, what exactly do I do?? And how am I going to make this transition as smooth as possible?

Think it's a good idea to explain this to her? Just so she knows?

Kinda like Deesa's situation, I have also been trying to be more affectionate in my relationship. However, I don't think it's working and I think I know why. I'm just shy of showing affection in front of our friends. Because we usually hang out with our friends. She works a lot, and we haven't had alone time in over a month and I only see her once a week as well. I have also talked about this with my g/f before. But should I talk to her again? I don't think it's such a great idea, but like, I want her to know. But it just might seem like a lame excuse or something. Suggestions/opinions??

Ok so it's about 2 months now into my relationship with my gf. Yes it's early, but I don't see us breaking up any time soon. We already have somewhat of a "distance" relationship, because I only get to see her once a week at the most. During our first month when school was heavy, I never got to see her for 2 weeks. But come September, we may or may not go to the same University. If not, I'm just worried that she'll break things off. And I know there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm wondering. How many of you are in/have been in long-distance relationships and how are they working out? I'm not just saying this because I'm going out with her, but my gf feels like the perfect person for me. Because I'm not a social person at all, and socializing with girls never works out well for me. I can talk to her in a way I can't talk to any other girl. And the best thing is, we never have ANY kind of conflict. Seems like such a perfect relationship. And I hope to god that distance won't separate us. I know some work, but most don't. She knows that too. And she's the kind of person who can accept things and move on with her life. One thing I'm worried about, is that if we don't go to the same University and we do have to break this off....I'm afraid I won't move on for a LONG time. I just wouldn't be able to let her go. How have you dealt with long-distance relationships?

Ok, this is somewhat of a strange issue. Whenever my gf and me make out, or even hold each other close when we're lying/sitting on the couch, I always seem to get an erection. But I'm not thinking of any sexual thoughts whatsoever, but it even sometimes happens when we're holding hands. I don't understand. I don't know if she has noticed, but yeah. Anyone else had this before?

It's been a month since I've been out with my gf. Whenever we talk on the phone, they're not so chatty, same thing if we chat online. But when we actually see each other, it's completely opposite. Anyone else just find it more difficult to talk over the phone? I used to get worried that we just had slow conversations in general and that was a sign or something, but it's just whenever we talk on the phone. But yeah, does anyone else get this?

Nope, I didn't.

Well yeah it's been a couple days since I've started dating this girl. I asked some friends for some advice, and she said that her boyfriend and her never talked on the phone for the first few days of her relationship. It's been 5 days already, do you think I should start calling her now? I think it's a good time to start, by now we've had some time to get used to the fact that we're dating, so yeah. Insight? EDIT: And also. It's early on in the relationship, so I haven't said "I love you yet". But I also want to let her know that I do see her as my girlfriend, because our conversations have not changed. I still talk to her as I talked to her before we started going out, which is a good thing. She likes me for who I am, so I'm not going to change....but I also want to treat her like she's my girlfriend too. Any tips on how to approach this?

Ok, a while ago I made a post about my situation with this girl. Well, I made my move yesterday and now we're dating. I didn't formally ask her out, since my best friend opposed it saying that this girl doesn't like all the formal stuff. So, sitting on the couch, I slowly went for her hand. When she held mine back, then I knew at that moment that we were on the same page. Anyways. I'm just asking some stupid questions now, but I'm just kind of unsure. It will take a few days for us to accept the fact that we're dating, but like....in terms of phone calls......should I just start calling? I want to ask her if she just wants to come over to my house or go skating or something, so I could call her up for that, and then just go from there? And yeah....not really too sure when to start that, or how often to do it? I don't want to be too excessive with it, but I don't want to seem like I'm not calling enough either. And also. My best friend tells me that this girl prefers hanging around our friends than just being alone (we hang out with the same people), and actually so do I. Of course there will be times that we will be alone, but yeah....same deal with the phone thing, I'm not sure how often I should get us alone. I don't want to seem too excessive with this either, nor seem like I'm not taking her out enough or anything. Some more insight is greatly appreciated. And thanks to those who responded to my original post way back last week.

Hmm...well maybe if you don't think about it so much it might work better? I don't know.

What if she keeps showing more signs but doesn't actually make her move? Because this upcoming weekend there's a big gathering, and I don't know if she'll show any more signs then. But what if she does? Should I take her aside and talk to her about it? It'd only be an assumption at that point, and I wouldn't know for sure that she actually likes me. But if she keeps showing signs, I don't want to just keep letting it happen and then reject her if she asks me out, that will just make me look like I'm playing on her emotions. I personally am thinking of just talking to her if she asks me out.....in the meantime for future gatherings, I won't "avoid" her, but I'll try to keep somewhat of a distance. Insight anyone? And thanks to those who replied to the original post. And Annie24, your post really did help me sort my thoughts out.....especially since you mentioned that whole circle of friends thing.

Ok, so lately (referring to my post in the Relationships forum).....I've been becoming close with a friend. She has shown signs that she likes me, but I'm not sure I want to risk it etc etc etc.....because she is in the circle of friends I hang out with now. And I am the "newest person" in this circle of friends, so of course everyone is better friends with her. My best friend actually happens to be in that circle as well, seeing as that's how I got associated with them. But anyway. How do I tell her that I just want to be friends (assuming sshe makes a move and asks me out.....because I don't plan on asking her out since I think it's best to stay friends)? I don't want to make it sound as if there is something wrong with her and that's the reason I don't want to go out with her....because I actually like her too. And a few weekends ago I made a mistake of showing a slight sign that I did like her. Not to such an extent that she has shown signs towards me, but hopefully she didn't notice too much. And yeah, I want to get involved with her, but I've weighed my decisions and I think it's best to just stay out of this one. 1) Same group of friends, people might take sides 2) My best friend is best friends with this girl too. She's known this girl longer, so I have a slight feeling she might side with her too. And so yeah. How exactly do I tell her this? I was thinking maybe like "I'm just not ready for a relationship", "I can't really juggle school and a relationship right now"....or something, but those might just come off as excuses. I don't want her to think that it's because of her that I don't want to go out with her, but yeah. Should I tell her I like her too but explain to her why we should remain friends, or should I just keep it as simple as possible?

I didn't know whether to put this in Relationship Conflicts or this one, but seeing as how I'm not even in a relationship, this is just a general question. Has anyone ever remained good friends with an ex? Because lately I've been becoming really close with a friend and I think there's an attraction between the both of us. A few weekends ago, there was a sleepover at friend's house, which involved drinking. I had been really stressed out that week from school, so I kinda' took it far that night...and ended up puking twice. So anyway, eventually I made my way to sleep on the couch. When I woke up randomly in the middle of the night, she was lying on the couch with me (and it wasn't a very big couch either....I couldn't full extend my legs), and she was resting her head on my chest. Just last weekend, there was a big gathering at a friend's house, and we were watching a movie.....and she was sitting in front of me. Then out of nowhere she just sat back and began leaning on me. These signs are suggesting that she likes me, and I think I like her too........but I'm not sure what to do. You see, I am considering getting involved with her, but she means too much to me as a friend. We've had so many good times together that I don't want to risk any possibility of losing her in the future. And she's part of a new group of friends I hang out with now, and they are the best group of friends ever. If anything happened to that, I don't know what I'd do. But yeah. If I DID get involved with her, it would be my first relationship....and I think it would be her 3rd. To put it straight forward, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm by no means very social, so phone calls might be a bit awkward because I never know what to talk about. Around other people there's always a conversation going, but sometimes we are alone when I'm waiting to get picked up at her house (to go home), and sometimes we are alone when she's driving me somewhere. During those times I've often found myself in an "awkward" silence. I have no idea what to bring up for topic of discussion. That's one factor that's really making me hesitant. Another factor is that I just don't want to lose her. But here's the thing too. If I don't decide to get involved with her, I will regret it. If I do....then I'll start overthinking things and yeah, again with the awkward silences thing. But I really like her....I've never felt such a connection with anyone. There's a big gathering in a few weeks with some friends, and I don't know if anything will happen then. We are going to a buddy's cottage for a ski/snowboard trip.....it's going to be a pretty big gathering, and yeah.....I wonder if any other signs will show up. And yeah, I just don't know what to do. I'm glad that these signs have showed up, but then again I wish they didn't. Because she lives in the next town (not very far away at all), I mostly talk to her online during the week when I don't get to see her. Because of lately, I've been really unsure of what to do, and I've been kinda' avoiding her. But eventually it's going to come back to me, so when it does, I'm going to need to have made a clear decision. But yeah.....I'd be going into my first relationship, and I have no idea what I'm doing. I wouldn't know what to talk about during phone calls, or even how often to call for that matter. I don't want to overwhelm her with phone calls, but then again what if I don't call enough? I don't know. And actually, these signs have kinda popped up at the wrong timing. I have exams in a few weeks and I'm really stressed out about school, and yeah. If I do want to ask her out, I would really want to do it after exams.....but if we still hang out a lot until then, I don't want her or anyone to think that I'm just "flirting" with her or "playing mind games" with her by not asking her out or anything. And I was just reading some of the other posts in the Relationships category.....and someone was saying how in any case it's pretty much impossible for people to remain friends after a breakup? That's my biggest worry, because it's usually true. I started hanging out with these people in like the start of July up until now. I originally got associated with them because they are friends of my best friend. And this girl I like is best friends with my best friend. So usually I'm always hanging around them, they're my closest friends in the group. I've had sooo many good times with her and everything.....that if we broke up, nothing would be the same. And I don't know if I really want to risk that, even though I really like her a lot. I'm also afraid because her last breakup was an ugly one....she used to be really good friends with her ex too until they broke up. Now they absolutely NEVER talk. So yeah, this is a pretty stupid issue I guess. Most people would say "Just ask her out if she means that much to you". But it's easier said than done. And I'm not confident at this stage either...especially with this girl. I like her a lot, but I also have no had any experience with dating. I don't want her to have a different (and possibly negative) perception of me after we went out. I'm not trying to put myself down, but IF she does like me (which I THINK she does.....going back to those "signs" I was mentioning).....I have no idea why she does. I am boring to be truthful. I can just see it....phone calls would be awkard. I'd have no idea what to talk about or anything. But anyway yeah....I just don't think I really want to risk the good times with her....but at the same time, I realllllly would like to get involved with her. I've never had such a connection with anyone, so yeah. But if someone could offer some insight on this, that'd be great. Thanks for reading.