Cooperstown

Wow, very nice I love it.

I'm currently with someone who "won't do it" "doesn't enjoy it" but she still will from time to time because she knows I like it and that in turn makes her like it. Just don't pressure her and I bet you will find her going down on you atleast occasionally.

Grayness is here, another day of gloom And hidden is our seed, not given chance to bloom A chance is all it needs, a chance to make it grow A chance I am not given, so the pain just starts to flow Happiness is gone for me, replaced by the pain A pain that is familiar, but yet it stings the same A pain that causes lonely days, followed by sleepless nights What happened darling angel, when did you lose sight Sight of all the tender things that let you know I care All I know is baby this pain I cannot bare So now the seed is sitting, buried deep within my pain Left to die within me as I sit and cry with shame

The hill is tall and you still make me climb The hurt is for real yet you are so blind. Blind to the fact that your slowly losing me Do you just not care, or do you just not see? See how you hurt me and push me away what more can I do what more can I say? What can I say to make you believe That I am for real, I will not deceive! Deceive you I won't because thats just not me But by now you should know this so let your heart free. Free to go and speak it's mind I know whats there whats hiding behind Behind all the walls atop this great hill The hill that will conquer my strong heart and will. For my will is near gone it's all I have left I've given you all come get the rest. The pieces remain of once was me Come put me together and help me to see See what it's like at the top of the hill Inside of the walls, I'm sure it's a thrill The thrill is what's there I've known from the start It's what I've been longing for, a place in your heart.

Generally I'm right around 20-30 minutes without a condom and god knows how long with, it really depends on positions to. But if the anticipation is up who knows, there are things you can do to help your endurance and stamina. For starters worrying about your lovers needs before your own is huge.

neck and ears, ears and I melt, but you gotta do it right. Gentle kissing, little tongue around the outer lobe etc.

Been there and honestly to get completely past it and completely let go it took me a little over 4 years. I guess I finally started getting over it completely when I finally started really thinking about what I would do if I had the chance to confront her because she did some really terrible things. Every answer I could come up with as to what I would do or why I was angry really would not effect my current life at all. How is this woman effecting your current life? Is it helping you as a person overall? Do you really need her in you're life? Are you ready to move on finally? She pushed you away online, why did that hurt you? Does it still hurt you? You just really need to break it down and answer some questions about yourself to really begin to heal completely. And if your unsure what to do about her because you feel bad about your negative thoughts I'll leave you with a quote another member of this forum posted that I found so helpful I saved it myself. Let go of blame, guilt, envy, jealousy, loneliness...all the emotions that come with a split that can trip you up. Don't wallow in the past or do anything to bring the other down. Remember them as you met them and show the same care you had when love paved the way. Realize you both hurt, you both miss the past and you both aren't going to be together like that again. See each other as the same treasures you once were to each other. Don't throw out the friendship you built.

I just had an incredible weekend just like that so I know what you mean, seems like they are playing hard to get but once there in your arms they melt. Man what a feeling.

That makes sense, hopefully that's the case. Sometimes our heads spin feelings our heart has all different directions and it over complicates situations like this. Thanks for the advice, I feel much better about this now.

I've seen this girl a few times now, went to dinner, cuddled up on the couch, etc etc and things have been going really well. We have great conversation and the attraction is definetely there. Last weekend she ended up coming over to my place and we had dinner and some wine and ended up watching a movie. The wine had us both a little buzzed and the topic of what this is came up and at that point we decided to make it official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She stayed over, I got to hold her it was a really amazing evening and I haven't had one of those in a very long time. We ended up getting together at her place on Sunday and we just hung out and talked. I ended leaving and heading back to my place and on the way home I got a phone call from her saying we needed to talk about what we were. She said she's not ready for a title yet and wants to keep things the way they were. I asked if that meant she wanted to see other people and she said no, she isn't going to do that she just isn't ready for a title. Now I'm really confused by this because what the heck does this mean exactly? I understand the words and in some ways this makes sense, but she's told me that she really needs a lot of attention in a relationship and that's fine, I like being there for her. I guess I'm wondering am I just getting used to fill a void so she gets the attention she needs when she wants it but doesn't have anything to give in return. She calls me everyday, makes plans with me, were going out again this Wednesday then over to a friends house together on friday and probably staying there. I'm just really confused on what to think of this, sometimes regardless of how a person is acting words like that can hurt. I mean is she embrassed to be mine?

Well what can I say the topic says it all and it's a very difficult one to tackle. I'm not even close to the point where I would actually date this woman, well I would date her, but because of the circumstances I feel that I can really get to know her pretty well through social interaction at work. Which is really your first date or two where you feel someone out and if there worth your time or not. So far she's a real interesting young woman, she's mentioned she hates eating alone, some similar interests but I still have much more to find out. Anyone have any thoughts on this topic? I'm very hesitant because I can see how something like this could go very bad fast. Some background, I've worked at the company for a couple months, I'll probably be leaving the company sometime in the spring to continue to pursue a career in professional baseball, however I will still be located in the area. So yeah let the conversation begin.

Very difficult question and that all depends on you and how the relationship ended. I've been there, the lowest of low and then probably slightly lower then that. I had a girlfriend for about four years, she ended up calling me two days before our 4 year to end it. The worst part wasn't that it was over the phone, it was what was going on the other side, I say this because it is somewhat relevant. Her words, "I told you I would never cheat on you, so it's over" click, while breathing heavy...........yeah talk about a rough day. Needless to say I've spent along time getting passed that and the worse it is generally the longer it takes. I can tell you right now I was no where near ready for anything for a very long time. I thought I was about 9 months after it happened and I ended up getting into a relationship that was very fullfilling because of it, but in the end it didn't last because of my past. The thing that I learned from not only the experience, but from my most recent ex, who is now one of my best friends is that IT IS OK TO BE YOU AGAIN. Whoever you were before your ex, I realize that sounds quite stupid but when something happens that shatters you beyond repair you lose sight of everything, who you are who you were where you were going everything. So maybe that person who met is the first step to being you again. At the time you don't realize it, at the time your just taking it one day at a time and you know you are ready to try to move on. Maybe not completely but in all honesty had I not taken the chance on a new relationship when I wasn't sure if I was ready or not, I'm not sure how messed up I would be right now. All I know is that girl picked me up out of the bottle, put me back together and showed me it was ok to live again. Take the chance, who knows what will come of it.

Thanks for the insight on this, I had a feeling the current dating situation wasn't going to go much of anywhere after this weekend, however, I have taken quite a bit from it. I guess I preceived her busy schedule as something to work around and since I'm far less busy I would let her choose a time that worked and call me to set it up. Clearly I need to be more aggressive in this aspect and be more direct. As for the back and forth about how to "play it" so to speak. I think that all depends on the girl really, I've been in 2 relationships both were good for 80% of there duration. Each started in a different way, one I jumped through hoops for a few months before that start(of course that was a high school girls they do behave differently now, atleast I hope!) and the other came to me and did not play any games. Personally I'm all for no games, really who wants to figure out all the crap that goes along with it. I'm a real straight forward guy, getting rain checked then stood up really doesn't bother me. It's just the manner in how it was done, if you weren't interested just say it so we can take the evening at face value. Overall the first date was nice, we had good conversation, a nice dinner a few laughs but in the end for whatever reason it doesn't work that's fine, thank you for the company it was nice meeting you. Then perhaps you can take a friend avenue from there. But when you get into all the crap of being discourtes and standing someone up. It's like saying there not even worth respecting. Anyway that's just my thoughts, feel free to disect, it's the best way to learn.

Basically I've been in long term relationships for the last 6 or so years, one lasting 4 years the other 2. There was some single time inbetween but that was more of a healing period and not really a dating period. The first was a high school sweet heart and the other was someone I worked with who did all the hard stuff, she asked for my number, she called me, she asked me out to dinner and we basically were a couple from that point on. I'm now 23 and I really have no dating experience. I'm somewhat shy, but I have no problem meeting new people and I have dated a small small bit recently. My problem is I'm very analytical and I over think things. I guess I don't have an understanding on "the rules" so to speak. As far as calling goes you want to show interest but you don't wanna be calling to much. You want to make sure that she knows you are looking for more then a friend but you don't want to be a pervert. You want to make it clear your looking for something mroe then a casual thing, yet how do you do that. This leads to my current dating situation, I met a young woman at a party on Halloween, we talked and had a great time and I ended up getting her number. I gave her a call and we made dinner plans the following Saturday. The date went pretty well and we just talked and enjoyed each others company for about 4 hours. She mentioned a movie she liked and we had similiar interests there so I asked if she had it and she did. So I suggested that we go watch it at her place since it was only a few blocks away. She didn't have a DVD player so that didn't happen, but she said suggested that we watch it at my place later the following week. So we made plans to see each other this last Thursday, but no time was decide. Since she's a law student with 3 different jobs and a very hectic schedule I just told her to call me sometime that week and we'd figure out the plans from there. I waited until Wednesday night and then just left a message wondering what time she was going to come by tomorrow and to have her call me for my address. I got a text Thursday saying she forgot a friends birthday and if I was busy Saturday or Sunday. So I called her back and said either worked for me. I ended up going to visit a friend so I text her that Sunday would actually be better for me. She never ended up calling to reschedule, I left a message today saying something along the lines of she must of had a busy weekend and to give me a call if she wants to do something. At this point the ball is in her court. I guess I'm just curious, did I call to much or try to make to much contact on this one? Since she made the initial push for a second date why did I get stood up? Is she playing games? Is dating going to always be this ackward or does it get easier with time once you get more familiar and comfortable with it?

I wouldn't rush into the that conversation of getting back together. I good way I found to preface the idea would be to discuss the past. Why did you grow apart? Were you unhappy together, clear the air, get everything in the open. Then if that happens talk about why you should get back together, what will be different this time around? Just be clear about what you want, and what you need and hear what she wants and needs and from there.