imsoconfuseandlost

I also talked to a good friend of mines about this, since she kinda knows a bit about psychologist, she knows this a lil more than I do, I told me the same thing u told me DonnaBelle, that most serial killers like Ted Bundy start off that way, they had no feelings for others when they were children, hurt/killed animals, hurt others, act on impulses and most of them are gifted. She told me those are the true pschopaths as adults, so that scared me, first time im leaning that word, and it's like a demented freak, reminds me of the scare movie Chuckie or Friday the Thirteen. Hope she ever releazes wut she's doning now is wrong, wonder if she'll ever develop feelings, she has no, hardly any, never even seem her cry. The only feelings she showed up was a smile whenever she would do something bad or when she would get angry if I kept arguing with her, telling her that it was worng. One time out of anger, she punch in the shoulder. That was the one time I went back to her childish ways.

Yes, I've been thinking of installing a hidden camara, then also when I get to have another chat with her in the afternoon when I come back from college, it'll be recorded. Or I can arrange to take her to a psychologist myself, invent the excuse to the parents that I'm taking her to a ride. So when they're to see the disgnose, then they'll believe it, b/c it never lies. Her parents are so oblivious, they're hard workers also, come home usually at 5p.m but yea, they do let her have kinda like her own freedom I think, since she tends to get away with it, but see, she's a very good liar also, they believe everything she says. The way she killed the two cats, well when I got there, it was too late, they were dead already, she's like always one step ahead, she told me that herself, she was like "well that's like when I'm playing chess, you have to always look one step ahead and search for weakneses." Whenver she does that to the lil things, she'll always covering her hands gloves, she's so organize, so no, she doesn't get dirty, hardly, any, it's like she knows all the steps, one time she told me them, which shock me also. After she killed them cats, she told me "guess where I can get rid of it without anyone ever finding out". So I ask where? She say "Right there don't u see it, the lake"? So see, thats how she gets away with it, she sinks them. Then she puts all the stuff where they belong and cleans them. See wut I mean, it's like the work of an adult, not a kid. I think I'll go with option 2 first, arrange a meeting with the psychologist. I'll take her myself.

Yes Shysoul I have talked to her parents and other family member, like I say before, they don't believe me, they'll keep saying wut a sweet angel they have. And yes in the house there are rules, whcih she does obey, but when they're not present and I'm there she shows her real side. And yes Donna, I seen her torture and even killed two cats on two different occasions, yes also mutilates frogs, cutting them inside, ouside, but she does it in a orderly way, like she knows it and always had that stupid smile. And also yes, I forgot to mention that yes, we did have Genie (our dog) but he disappear like a long while ago already, like 4 months ago, I'm pretty sure she did something to it, b/c one time she told she hated it and if there was anything she would do was either stab it or give it poison.

I dunno wut's up with my cousin and she's only 10 years old, just a kid, while im 21, yet give me the creeps, like can of worms. She cares about nothing not anyone, but herself i think, very self-centered and manipulatived i think, but so smart at the same time, yes no telling about that, she's all ms. straight A's, thats all it says on her reports cards almost perfect scores on standarized test, very good in chess and checkers, and well think her IQ is like somewhere b/w 130-150, yes, very high. Ok so i dunno, its like im dealing with a gifted child but at the same time an evil child. Wells thats how she acts whenever I'm there but she doesn't show that with the parents nor when other people in the family are there. I have tried telling them about the bad deeds she does, they don't believe me. I seen and caught her torture defendless stuff and always that stupid grin. Yes often I heard kids are just kids and will be mean at times, but she's gone way to far. So last week I aksed her a question, I told her "What would u like to be when you grow up". Her response really shock me, it was "A criminal mastermind off course." I asked "why is that" repsonse " So I'll always have money when it runs out". She's also set things on fire before but was never caught though. So it's like I don't really know her, like she's two people at once, if she's so smart for her age with a nearly adult level vocabulary, then why doesn't she have any remorse when she does things wrong, smile when she knows wut she's doing is wrong why does she even. I tried to help out by showing her a film on the halocause, about Jews getting exterminated so she can see how these people suffer, I closely payed attention if there was even signs of tears or emotions. To my surprise, she was plain serious and emotionless during the whole film. By the end I was like "Poor people, can u imagine wut they had gone through and their families killed", she say "What about it, maybe they deserve it". So I keep talking to her. Me: Don't u feel sorry for these people" Her: Why should I? Me: Haven't u been even listening to the film? Her: Yes, I have and I don't feel sorry for them, those people got themselves into that position Me: What if it was ur parents? Her: When people die, they die, no going back Me: But don't u know there's always punishment for bad people Her: Says who, god, there is no god, no such thing Me: So wut exactly do you believe in? Her: In myself So I stopped, it was useless, anything I say, she always had an answer to it, it didn't felt as if I was arguing with a kid. At this point I dunno wut to do, if im to tell the parents again and the other members in the family, thay won't believe me, they all be saying "That's not true, she's a good girl"

Ok, thats a new disorder i just learn, histrionics are always there to seek attention, my younger has a disoder but i dunno wut it, it's a different one though, so im gonna post my thread about her.