Jump to content

ocrob

Members
  • Posts

    832
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    2

ocrob last won the day on January 18 2006

ocrob had the most liked content!

About ocrob

  • Birthday 01/03/1969

ocrob's Achievements

Experienced

Experienced (11/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Posting Machine Rare
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done

Recent Badges

4

Reputation

  1. Wow, it seems you have a few challenges or concerns. There are plenty of nice guys out there, but we all seem to act a certain way after being hurt of taken advantage of. I think that quality attracts quality. If you are staying with a guy that cheated on you and just hanging on because there is nothing else, then you are hurting yourself. I consider myself a nice guy, but have been hurt and will not trust a woman too quickly. I think you need to value yourself and get rid of a cheating boyfriend and then maybe a nice guy will value you. You picture is very attractive, but the fact that you are just staying with someone till you find something better does not put you in the best light. My last girlfriend had a history of staying with guys till she found someone to go to next. She was afraid of being alone and this was a very bad thing. Your boyfriend may be using you, but you are using him and that does not make you a better person. Don't worry about being alone and just do the right thing. Relationships are a lot of work and why do it unless you really care about the person? I have not been on here for many months, but if you want to e-mail me then we can chat and I will give you my 2 cents. Cheating is unacceptable and a player is way better than a cheat. You need to respect yourself and find a guy that respects you. I might be able to give you some insight because I am older and have made many mistakes in relationships, but never cheated. That is just wrong. Robert
  2. I went NC for about four months and had some limited contact. She is engaged and a few e-mails back she said we should not talk out of respect for her guy. I said no problem, but I thought that was lame. She agreed and since then have e-mailed about once a month. I would say we are friends and she has been really sweet, but I am not trying to get her back and she does not want me back. lol It is nice to talk to an old friend once you get over the emotional rollercoaster. It does get better, but makes you a lot more apprehensive in your next relationship. I have been dating a woman for about six months casually because that is all she wanted and it has worked for me. She seems to be wanting to turn the corner and get serious, but I would not even consider it because she has not invested any time with me. If that changes, then who knows? At this time I am just having fun and enjoying her company and the sex that comes with it.
  3. Hi Hannah, I am going to give you an old man's perspective. When we get older, there are so many pieces of the puzzle that have to fit for people to be compatible or get married. You are so young! Other than being safe and a good kid, then don't worry about the rest. You are supposed to have fun and experience relationships. I say that you enjoy this guy's company and not worry about the future. If he smokes pot during this time in his life, then you have to decide if it bothers you. If it does not, then I would just suggest that you do not do it, if you do not want to and also do not let him put you in a situation where you get in trouble. If he want to get stoned on his own time and not bring you into it, and it does not bother you, then just have fun. My point kind of got off track. You are young and this will not be your only relationship. I suggest you enjoy it as long as you are safe and responsible. I don't like the pot thing, but many of my friends did it as youngsters and now they do not and they are very successful. Just make sure this is a good kid who is responsible and gets good grades and treats you with respect. I know you are of the sexual age, but hopefully you will not have sex and if so, then use a condom and be safe. Wow, it is obvious I am not a father. lol Just be responsible and make sure he is as well. Don't let some bad kid bring you down. This is teomporary and you have so much to look forward to.
  4. Hi all, I used to come on here while I was hurting. I won't rehash my situation, but I loved this woman for three years and tried the friend thing and got smart and did NC. It hurt really bad for a while, but now I no longer miss her and am no longer sad. I still have love in my heart for her, but that is all. We talk occasionally and it is all cool. Once you go NC, you get your self respect back and can begin to heal. Sure I will always have love for this woman in my heart, but I just have good memories and wish her the best. I started dating a woman about six months ago that everyone said was not interested in me. Well, we are still having our casual and sexual relationship and it is all good. She tried playing the old " maybe we should stop seeing each other" and I said fine, no problem. I have learned from my mistakes and will never chase a woman again. I will pursue a woman and show her love and affection, but I will not be played. This woman came back to me so fast and I am seeing the games. I don't like them, but I just don't play them. So, I am saying that if you are hurting, it will get better no matter what! It is a guarantee just as if you diet and exercise you will lose weight or have a better body. Wheather you are a man or woman, be nice and respectful and caring, but do not let anyone manipulate you. If someone threatens to leave you, then let them go and see if they keep going.
  5. I really don't see how sending this will hurt you or help you. I do think that just writing it will help. I am like you and like to write my feelings.
  6. Hi Razerbladez, I have not been on here in a very long time and came on here to write a post, but read yours. I am sorry to hear about your pain. What is your disease? I only ask because if it is AIDS or certain cancers, then you can have many good years. I have given a lot of thought to what I would do, if I were to get a bad disease. I would want to live life to the fullest, but not get to the point where I was suffering or had no quality of life. I have always wondered if it was possible to find out you were dying, but have time to enjoy a healthly life for a short time. It would be nice if we had a specific amount of days and could plan them accordingly and then when it was up, just vanish. I know it does not work that way, but I am curious about your situation. I will be more than happy to lend an ear. I wish you the best.
  7. Who knows what he is thinking? The fact that he is going into the Marines may be a sign not to pursue him. If you really like him, then do not contact him and see if he contacts you. Don't ask him out anymore and see if he asks you out. If not, then appreciate the good time you had and move on. I can imagine it would be pretty hard to get involved with a guy that is leaving for a long time. Let him call and if he does not, then be thankful because sitting home waiting for someone is no fun I would imagine.
  8. Yes, this guy is a jerk. Most of us guys crumble and chase after the woman that broke up with us. He is one of those egotistical guys and is playing with you. Just tell him he is not worth you time and go NC.
  9. I read your post and a lot of the others. It seems you are trying to meet him under false pretense. I am sure you appreciate his opinions on law, but you want to meet him. A lot of men try to get to know women under false pretense and we get pounded. I personally don't do it, but I appreciate your effort. You can't go wrong being direct with a man. Tell him that you are interested in him and ask if he would like to take you out. No guy will say no, unless he is taken or not interested. This will solve your problem fast. I am a guy and know how we think. Even if he is in a relationship or marred, he might say yes. I would make sure he is single and if he says yes, then get to know him. If he does not, then he is taken and a good guy. You have to respect that. Robert
  10. friscodj always has great input. Mix one for me bro.
  11. I agree with eyes wideopen. I don't know if the ex is a bad guy, but we all seem to act macho around our friends. It sounds like you broke up with him. Did you? If so, then you have no reason to be snooping through his stuff. What he said may have been a defense mechanism. If he broke up with you, then I will take your side. If you did the breaking up, then I will tell you my opinion once I know the facts. Please tell. Robert
  12. I agree with the rest. I don't blame him for wanting to show affection, but I personally like to keep it in private. Just let him know that you feel uncomfortable.
  13. I say you should definitely take the ring back. Worse case scenario you can trade it in for a watch or something. My exwife insisted on keeping her ring, which cost me $6000. She wanted to make a necklace out of it. We were only married for a year. Things will definitely get better. I went out with my ex for four years and dated for a while after and then tried the friend thing. After four months of NC, I thought I might be ok to talk to her as a friend. She informed me she is now engaged and we should not talk. I am actually pretty good with it. The more time that goes by, the better off you will be. There are plenty of women out there, but the fear of getting hurt still lingers, but you have to live your life.
  14. I would say that what you are experiencing is very common. It seems that all of these disorders are brought on by stress or a chemical imbalance in the brain. I say that you should not get worried about it and just keep tabs on how you are feeling. Panic attacks and anxiety are very normal. Sometimes they just happen, but other times they are triggered by stressful events. I would keep tabs on things and see how it goes. I went about ten years very tense and high strung. After my divorse, I realized I suffered from anxiety. I got on Paxil and it sucked for the first three weeks, but I am still on it and I am very relaxed. I am on such a low dose that it probably does not matter, but I am relaxed and it does not change my personality. It just helps with the stress. Feel free to write me and I will share my experiences. Robert
  15. I say that you don't worry about meeting someone and they will probably show up. Yes, most people want to keep their options open, but when they meet the right person that all goes away. Just take things as they go. I have been dating a women for a while now and it has been very casual. I don't know if she is moving away or staying so I just don't get too attached and have a good time. She went from very non committal with plans to wanting to see me a lot more. I am just taking it how it comes. You can't shut yourself off to the world, but you can protect yourself until things seem right. Good luck.
×
×
  • Create New...