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CharLit

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CharLit last won the day on August 26 2007

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  1. Okay, I'm not trying to come up with some acrobatic position that would enable you to receive oral and still look up at her... how are your handstands? This isn't my attitude towards it - I don't see it as a power thing either way - but if it helps keep in mind this quote from Samantha in Sex & the City: " Men, they may have you on your knees, but you've got them by the balls" but nah, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, just don't do it of course - sex should be fun for all parties involved! An there is plenty of other fun to be had of course
  2. Would you find it degrading to give her oral? I don't think there is anything at all degrading about doing something that brings both my partner and myself so much pleasure... I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, if a girl does it at her own initiative you can assume she just wants to make you feel amazing and is enjoying it - its no different from anything else you do to give your partner pleasure.
  3. Only when I haven't gotten any air for an extended period
  4. Oh yesh yesh yesh! LOVE doing it. love waking my boyfriend up with a BJ, love having it as regular part of sex. I love how much he enjoys it, but doing it is arousing to me too. trying to learn deep throat, but not much luck so far. Ah well, practice makes perfect, so I practice plenty
  5. SOME eggs come from places like that, not all: there's free-range (which admittedly is almost as bad as battery), "grass eggs" where the chickens can roam outside and inside freely, 'organic' which means different things in different countries, but here in the Netherlands at least again means the chickens get to go outside (in addition to them not being given food that has been sprayed with pesticides, hormone suplements etc etc), and finally of course there are plenty of people who keep a few chickens of their own.
  6. OP: Well, i can't speak for "men", and none of the men here can either since every man is different. For myself though, I masturbate regularly: I love my boyfriend to bits and I love sex with him, but sometimes I get horny when he's not around... sometimes I even do it lying in bed beside him because he can be completely comatose in the morning... so i sort myself out, and then jump him when he finally begins to wake up Generally, people of all ages masturbate because it feels good. Nope Why do you need to know?
  7. I hear ya lady, I love the little bugger!! Just got my five-year replacement which wasn't much fun, but now it's clear sailing for another 5 years... well, unless we decide we'd like to expand the family before then of course
  8. copper coil only: boyfriend & i both got tested for everything and stopped using condoms when the tests came back negative.
  9. I very much doubt that she is unaware of it. Acne is incredibly hard to get rid of in many cases, and a facial really isn't going to change skin conditions which are usually down to hormonal imbalances caused by puberty. If this really is a dealbreaker for you, end it, but I would advise against saying anything about it directly or indirectly. You would just be confirming insecurities she doubtlessly already has. In most cases, acne will just go away by itself eventually as people mature.
  10. CharLit

    Wow

    Hey Gracie, I do it, I love it, I barely see it as connected to sex with another person... sex with someone else is intimacy and sharing with orgasm as an added bonus, masturbation is just a bit of fun with orgasm as an end goal. Plenty of women do it, plenty of women don't: don't feel pressured either way. If it's something you (might) enjoy, go for it, if not, that's no biggie! C
  11. Where I live it is very hard to get meat that is guaranteed not to come from intensive farming, so I don't eat meat. The human digestive system and teeth are built for meat, so I have nothing against killing animals for food in principle (and I did also very much enjoy meat when I still ate it). Animals here tend to be kept and killed in absolutely horrific conditions, and I will not have anything suffer for me like that when it is not essential to my survival. As a side effect, I feel far healthier with no meat in my diet, but I know there are other people who feel terrible if they don't eat meat. Your body has to be suited to vegetarianism, too, and you have to inform yourself of course, know where you can get your protein, iron and vitamin B - none of which is at all hard in a meat-free diet. When I was in Benin (west africa) I had no trouble eating chicken: the chickens just wander free around the villages until they are slaughtered and have fine lives. I don't see anything wrong with that. (not to mention of course that it would be unbelievably rude to refuse if people invite you into their home and slaughter and cook one of their chickens for you) As for the original question: nothing to do with upbringing in my case, both my parents eat meat. So do the parents of my boyfriend, who has been a vegetarian since he was twelve. For me, it was just a gradual realisation, part due to pets, actually: the animals we are eating and keeping in terrible circumstances are not so different from our pets who have such huge personality and whom we shower with love. You would never, ever accept that anyone treated your pet the way meat animals are treated. Fish is tricky: I have all the same moral objections to farmed fish that I do to anything else farmed intensively. However, the rapid depletion of fish stocks worldwide means that free-swimming caught fish aren't really an option either anymore. So, the fish has had to go, too, and I have to say that where I don't miss meat at all, I most certainly miss fish! But ah well, I miss smoking, too - just the fact that I want something doesn't mean I have to have it. There are certain dilemmas. The conditions of milk cows and laying chickens as someone already mentioned, though I do try to get 'ethical' milk and eggs, but I'm not willing to go vegan. Another really tricky thing is my cat: he needs meat to survive of course, so I am basically feeding him animals that have suffered in such a way that I refuse to eat them. I haven't figured that one out, yet. The difference is partly in him needing it though: I can survive without meat, he can't. i don't think either of these things makes me a hypocrit: I'm aware of the dilemmas and am trying to figure out how to deal with them. I don't think my choices are much of a bother to anyone unless I go to dinner at someone's house, but practically everyone knows at least one or two vegetarian dishes, so I hope it's not too much trouble. If it is they can always come over to my place and I'll happily cook for them since I adore cooking & food. As for restaurants: here in the Netherlands pretty much everywhere has a couple of vegetarian options (even macDonalds... though i wouldn't go there simply because the food is gross , so I'm really not going to be picky about where I eat - the meat eaters I go out to dinner with always seem a lot more concerned about it than I am, which is sweet of them but unnecessary. frankly, Gunther, why would you be so aggressive (vegetarians are weird hypocrits according to you) about something that is a personal life choice? And I am talking about people here who keep it a personal choice, not "preaching" vegetarians (or preaching meat-eaters or preaching anything at all!) they're annoying alright I will give my reasons when asked, but other than that it's just my choice and I really don't care what other people do .
  12. I guess it all depends on whether you consider similar levels of education to factor into compatibility or not - that's a very personal choice. For myself, I have an MA, my partner has a school diploma and took a 3-month vocational course in terms of formal education, and that's it. However, he's an effing genius with a computer (digital design, web design, video editing) and with a guitar. As his current obsession, he reads books on quantum physics for fun, we love the same books (not the ones on quantum physics though films, and food (v. important to me as I love cooking & eating + we're both vegetarians) have the same values, politics and twisted sense of humour. We're very proud of each others' knowledge and skills, and they complement one another. He has a stable job that he enjoys and in which he can develop that takes him around the world. He partly supported me financially through the last year of my studies, and now we make about the same amount of money (though of course I have a pesky college debt to pay off, he doesn't). As long as we can get by, we both find doing what we love WAY more important than the money we make. He doesn't have any expertise in my field of work aside from what I tell him, but he is an extremely structured and logical thinker and thereforeeee my most important proof reader: he can put things together in a way that actually makes sense to the rest of the world He can also totally hold his own in a debate, which is good, because I love debating the state of the world and humanity This guy is just utterly, utterly perfect for me. I love his passion, his integrity, his humour, and his ability to become obsessed with things and not stop until he's learned everything there is to know about them. He would be so completely out of place and unhappy in a formal tertiary education setting, yet i daresay he probably has a great deal more in-depth knowledge about a far wider range of topics than many academics. (I know there are plenty of academics who DO have a fascination for a very broad range of things, but there are also plenty who got a degree to get a job and are satisfied with not ever looking outside of their own field. That's fine, but not what I'm looking for in a partner) We've been together for over four years btw, so this is not me gushing in the throes of infatuation. All that said, my previous LTR was also with someone with less formal education than myself, and though we were compatible in many other ways, he always felt threatened by my education/knowledge and experienced disagreement on any abstract topic as me putting him down, rather than us having a debate. That was down to his own insecurity, and one of the reasons (though not the main one) that we broke up up in the end. The incompatibility was not in the different levels in education, but far more in his not seeing his own talents (artistic... i guess i go for the creative type! and expertise in other areas as equally valid as mine... either that or he thought I didn't think they were equally valid and looked down on him. As for the "sugar mommies" - the men you encountered are what I would term spongers, and you find them in both sexes and accross all levels of education. Just last week I bumped into a trained psychologist I vaguely know in a bar who had run out of money for the month (even though he has a good job) and had gone out anyway assuming people would buy him drinks. They did, and he's quite a nice guy in many other ways, but he was definitely sponging!
  13. I don't think you can generalise about this. There are couples who have sex immediately and go on to have many happy years together, and there are couples who wait for years and still have the relationship crash soon after... and vice versa of course. The best you can do is what feels right for you and hope it works out I'm afraid.... For myself, as I'm a very long-term relationship type gal, I've only slept with 2 guys. With the first, I waited about three months: I wanted to make as sure as I could that we had something lasting going - which I guess we did, we were together for five years, but eventually we both just developed in different directions. With my current man, well, the only reason we waited the week we did was because I was on my period when we got together However, we'd been madly in love with each other for half a year and just hadn't realised it was mutual until then That was over four years ago, and it's still a constant source of wonder to me how happy we are together, how much joy there is in repetition, how the same joke can be funny a thousand times, and how the same endearment can still hold all the meaning now that it did years ago... Ahem... I digress... I'm having a soppy day BC: haven't had experience of the depo shot, and from what I've heard from others, it's one of those ones where you're just going to have to try it and find out whether it works for you... You could go to a family planning-type clinic and have them talk you through all the options and their pros and cons - and short of sterilisation, none of the options are irreversible: if something doesn't work out you ca always just stop.
  14. Nah, a REALLY good night just leaves me gagging for more You're right though, quality over quantity always.... though of course, sometimes a quickie before work can be quality too
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