Sam1986

Depends on country. In Norway its not that common for men to pay (thank god), but as a more traditionally minded man (which I guess is somewhat rare here), I do occasionally pay. It depends a lot on whether I actually liked her or not, and for someone I'm not that into I would probably just offer a coffee. I wouldn't necessarily ask for her to pay after that, but I wouldn't protest if she took her part of the bill either. A big plus for me is if the woman offers to pay "the next round", as that signals that she's not feeling entitled for me to pay for everything. Just offering to do so is a plus.

Yeah I don't subscribe to the "friendzone" either. I believe it's a myth created by the belief that some people have that "you can get anyone to like you if you change your behaviour to X/Y/Z, and if you are friendzoned it means its your own fault because you didnt do X/Y/Z", thereby assuming that people can be manipulated into liking you as a romantic partner in the first place. Humans are not that simple, and mutual romantic interest stems from a whole lot more than just one party's behaviour towards the other. Meaning that if one is "friendzoned", changes are good he will remain there anyway if she doesn't see him as a romantic prospect to begin with.

You should probably give us some more context here, as the lack of information here can only give you very general answers (which are less likely to apply to your individual case).

Off-topic perhaps, but you definitely can. Countries usually don't share these sorts of records with one another, so the only way they tend to learn about your felony is if you voluntarily list it in the application form when applying for a visa. Me and a friend went to China a couple of years ago, and he has a criminal record (nothing big, tax evasion mostly), and we considered listing it on the visa application form. We opted not to, and as expected, there were no consequences since Chinese authorities would have no way of knowing anyway.

Depends on what he was convicted for ("a fight" can mean so many different things in practice, even if the law views it differently), and whether or not this indicates a pattern. Talk to him about it and try to find out more perhaps. I personally feel that there is too little information to base any advice on in this case, details are needed. Genereally I'd personally be wary of someone who is convicted, but that doesnt mean that he is automatically disqualified from being a good guy. Just an example: For all I know the fight in question was one where your boyfriend got provoked first and they both participated in the fight, yet your boyfriend got a "lucky" punch in that knocked the guy unconscious and gave him a concussion. Even if the law views that as some sort of assault and convicted him accordingly, I think most guys would agree that while it was unfortunate that he got knocked out, the first guy had it coming. It can however also mean the complete opposite, that your boyfriend picked a fight, escalated on purpose or used disproportionate violence, which is a different thing altogether. Hence you should try to uncover whether or not this is a pattern.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that this is solveable with good communication between the two of you. Your reservations against marriage (being the centre of attention, and the financial part of it) are understandable, but you are not listing anything here that states that you are against marriage in principle. Have you talked to her about the possibility of having a small wedding, or even just getting married through filling out the required paperwork, without actually having a ceremony? For all we know, maybe she just wants the status of a marriage, without requiring a full on ceremony and big party. In that case there is room to navigate here. As for the prenup, talk to a lawyer if that is your main concern. That you "have heard" that they might not be water tight is irrelevant, if that is your main concern. Talk to someone who actually knows this legal field and find out what's what, again assuming that this is your main concern.

The fact that her child is 8 is quite telling in my opinion, because to me that looks like neglect, or, assuming that her living with her grandparents is a thing in Asia, a very odd prioritization. My ex's sister had a breakdown some years ago, and it caused all sorts of odd behaviour (diagnosed bipolar), especially in relation to her kids. She would just head off and live with her boyfriend, cause all sorts of drama and neglect her kids, where the kids at got no heads up and over night had to stay with grandparents and even us for a short while, depending on who had time to take them in. Her sister instead prioritized her boyfriend and picking fights with her parents, whereas her kids got no attention. Very bizarre.

I wasn't gonna reply here until I saw this message. This sounds very odd however. She might have had a mental breakdown or similar, hard to say, but not keeping her daughter in the loop before you is extremely odd and could even be neglect depending on how young she is. How old is her daughter? Below 18 by any chance? And are they still living together, and does she have custody over her?

Ask her what's up then. You can hypothesize all day, but it won't get you any far. This is what communication is for.

Doesn't mean anything, so stop overthinking it as you say.

Drop that *** right away, don't even bother questioning this. Blaming you is as low as one can get, and tells you a ton about what sort of character you're dealing with here.

You've got nothing to worry about. 2 months in and seeing each other 1-2 times a week is quite normal, go at the pace that you two find natural. Some like to go fast, some like to go slow, there is no right answer here as to how fast you two should go or what activities you should do when you're together. The clue here is that she offered to reschedule, so just do that and take it from there. As long as you two have quality time together and it feels right, go for it!

How can we deduce that she is not interested? She literally wrote that she wants to reschedule to find a fitting date. If that's not effort then I dont know what is. Speaking of little time. I just finished my major deadline right now (hooray!) at work, and I haven't been able to see many people the last days/weeks because of how big this delivery is. And right after that, I've booked a flight to see my family (the flight was booked in advance because I knew my deadline was today). And I'll be heading straight for the airport after work tomorrow, and be gone till New Year's. And I have friends who have just as busy schedules now during Christmas time, so it's not that uncommon this time of year. My point is, its not uncommon to have very tight schedules now around Christmas time, but as long as she shows an interest in trying to reschedule, he's got nothing to worry about.

There is no problem here as far as I can see. She wasn't able to go for the suggested date, but said that you should call so you two could reschedule. It's when she makes no effort to reschedule that I would be more worried, but this isn't the case here.

I would quit this place in a heartbeat. I've worked for some bad bosses before, but your experience seems worse. And I quit my last job over such a toxic boss. In your case it shouldnt even be a question anymore.