gettingthere12

Not a peep and I'd rather it be. I feel I owe it to the woman I'm vesting in now to not look back. I owe to myself more. Even before I met this new woman I really began to see how much my ex had changed. She morphed into someone completely different. Oddly enough it was the many encounters we had post break up that gave me this level of enlightenment. Had I just gone completely off the radar I wouldn't have seen her for who she is now and in my particular case it helped me heal. I needed to see with my own eyes and it was a wake up call. I wanted the old person back, not the new. I then began understanding the change taking effect in myself also. Would've never worked out. Luckily when I went NC it was done on good terms and I don't carry the negative weight anymore. The hurt, pain, even the shame of failing. I just had to forgive her and it was liberating. It just takes times. I honestly still think of her daily but in a minimal capacity. Human nature I'm sure but I feel good inside. Faith, time, etc etc is your friend.

Haven't commented in a few months but I'll tell you this, it does get better. I was with my ex for 4 years before she left me and started seeing someone else a week later, living fast, and looking happier than ever. Needless to say I was devastated. Went through the initial mistakes we all make and it yielded what I thought was great progress, but in hindsight it slowed the healing. We hung out and were intimate several times before I finally cut the cord and took control of my own feelings and life. Blocked social media and went NC. It's been 6 months post BU and 2.5 months since I initiated NC. By the time I decided I was done with the games I felt indifferent and had zero desire to reach out to her again. The fact she was with someone else made this step alot easier. Since the BU I've been working out, hanging with friends, going to church etc. I needed to regain control. I've never felt so confident in my life. About a month and a half ago I met a wonderful woman who accepted what I was going through and understood where I was emotionally (unavailable). Since then we've become quite close and I don't think that would've happened had I been holding onto to that false hope of reconciling with my ex. I was able to let go before meeting this lovely woman, which happened when I wasn't looking. Before we met I knew the way I was treated by my ex post BU was wrong and callous but I harbour no malice in my heart. Another positive change. I feel alive. My ex contacted right before I initiated NC and cried, apologized, and told me of her issues with her new beau. I could've taken that moment to re-capture her heart but I was done at that point. I wished her the best but the focus was on me at that point. I not only got back to who I was before I met her, I became a better man. Stronger. I owe it to God, my friends, and myself. I truly wish you all the same success. I CHOSE to feel better and rebuild myself. Unfortunately for her, she seemed to be spiraling downwards, excessive drinking, drugs, etc. I wish that upon nobody and get no comfort from knowing that but again, this is about me and she chose that life and a man that doesn't uplift her (so she said). Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and LIVE again! I did as well as countless others. God speed!

Well said gone, well said. Great to see you finding clarity. This is inspiring.

I heard this a few days ago and I read it daily to keep me uplifted...."Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, an hour, a day, even a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take it's place. If I quit however it will last forever"....Eric Thomas ‪

You should be proud of your progress and outlook. Once I got past the anger and resentment phase I was able to focus on what I had to offer to someone else in the future. Although I'm not ready to date, I feel my heart moving on. My mind has done so already. God Speed!

No longer counting the days. I feel indifferent. Up and down. I just wish I could get her out of my mind. That part is what's plaguing me. I get a high some days, feeling confident about moving on completely yet other days I feel a bit low. Her breadcrumbs are messing up my floor. I truly have zero desire to contact her although I wish she'd contact me. Rubbish I know. Ironically enough I don't want her in her current state. I've seen her a few times since our demise almost 3 months ago and have been intimate with her, but she's completely different. I guess some people go back to their old ways even though I saw something different for 4 years. Not sure her relationship status as I can care less (so I feel at the moment) and have no desire to check her Facebook, text, call, etc. Zero!. Overall I don't really want her back per se, I'd just like to know she cares and isn't that heartless. I guess it matters none anyway. We're both free to live our lives. It's just a bit harder for me as I really don't have much negative energy toward her other than her moving on so quickly and stringing me along. I hold no malice. Well to all those still struggling...live on live strong...cheers.

Day 10. After my failed reconciliation attempts, the feeling it left with me later...is all the motivation I need to never contact her again. I have absolutely zero desire to contact her or check on her. It actually feels quite liberating. We aren't on bad terms but I do feel some discontent towards her from her moving on so quickly. After which we made love several times since and I'm left to fend for myself afterwards. Yucky feeling but somewhat glad I went through it because it showed me I deserve better. We ALL do. The "zero desire to contact effect" has been since last contact which she initiated which feels good. Keep it up everyone!

Day 7. Broke up 2.5 months ago. Up and down but still fighting. Can't get the thoughts of her and another man out of my head suddenly although I knew about him a week after she left. Also the nightly dreams. Still pushing through though...

Day 7. Broke up 1.5 months ago. It's a rocky road but it must be travelled. I keep having these dreams of her and I together. Waking up has been painful. God has been my refuge through this.

Day 6. My ex gf of 4 years left me and started talking to someone 2 weeks later. We made love twice as recent as 6 days ago post break up, then poof I'm left to fend for myself regarding my feelings as she seemingly goes on with no care. She has someone vying for her attention while I sleep in misery. Makes me feel horrid. But the way she made me feel after our last encounter made me realize I don't deserve to be treated like that. The gym, this forum/friends alike, and God have been my only saviour. There will be absolutely no contact from me until she initiates. Every time I did before left me feeling worse off than if I didn't. We can all stay strong if we continue to look for support and work on ourselves. Comforting knowing many of us feel the same exact pain going through these times. I thought I was the only one in the galaxy feeling it. Good luck!