Bigbilly

I wouldn't say so. At least twenty-thirty minutes of cardio beforehand is actually a good idea. I would say it's probably your diet or maybe you aren't getting enough water? If twenty minutes of cardio is wiping you out so much, start with maybe ten or fifteen and then work your way up. Also, make sure you're getting a good amount of carbs and proteins if you want to build muscle. This site is more focused on bodybuilding, but it still has a lot of good advice and articles pertaining to muscle gain and diet. Check it out. link removed

That's what makes me stop. I've heard about being "friend-zoned" after a while, but I've also heard of stories where a couple have already known eachother for years before they start dating. I guess the letter was a bad idea, but I think I would like to just give her a single rose or something and ask her, in plain English, for a date. We'll see what happens. I don't feel friend-zoned mainly because she really hasn't opened up to me in a way that I feel with other girls I'm friends with. When we hang out, it's still kinda the fast-talking, one-topic-after-another first-date speech, where you're nervous and just keep talking and talking. I have asked her out in the past. She always said yes, and we made plans but in the end they changed a bit to accommodate things that had come up. She never flat-out canceled, because even if a certain day wasn't an option she'd suggest another, or even if we ran low on time she'd still suggesting at least meeting for a drink or something. She's given me a lot of hopefull signs in the past and recently, so we'll see what happens.

You're probably right. Maybe instead of writing anything I outta get her something nice, like a rose, and really just ask her out on a real date. Make it clear. The flowers really don't leave any wiggle room for doubt, because friends don't usually buy them for eachother. I guess the whole point here is I want to make some sort of gesture to let her know I am really into her. From there it's up to her. I don't want to overwhelm her, because even after knowing her for a year and a half it's possible that I might freak her out. I think she knows I am into her, it outta be obvious, but I want to let her know.

Yeah, a lot of info got lost in the summary. Lemme expand a little ... Like I said, we've known eachother for a year and a half now. I would say that about a month into she second semester together we did, in fact, start doing what you might consider dating. We went out a few times outside of school for drinks and so forth. When we did meet, we usually met somewhere. She works forty hours a week, had full-time school, had a work-study as a TA and she has obligations to her family, so she really didn't have a lot of free time, so picking her up and spending all evening on a proper date just couldn't happen, even after we tried a couple times. Stuff always came up. Her parents bought her a car, and I think the unspoken agreement is taht she would provide rides for her parents or siblings in exchange for it. Plus, she's Asian and family always comes first. She's invited me to meet some of her siblings a couple times. She checks in with me sometimes if we haven't talked in a few days. I really wanted to start dating her, but at the time I misinterpreted some of her actions as disinterest when in fact I think she really did have things come up at the last minute that really kept us from going out on a real date. When class used to end we'd walk together and talk for a while, sometimes she'd come out of her way to talk a bit longer for me. At the time I think we were bother waiting for the other to make some sorta move, but I took some bad dating advice from some stupid people and never took the plunge.

So yeah, I could write this story that's like ten pages long about this girl, but I'll summarize as best I can; We meet in class a year and a half ago. She's Vietnamese and she's an angel in human form. We have that class together and take another one together the following semester. As far as I can feel, during the second semester there was a lot of tension. I was crazy about her, but I don't know how she felt. We go to lunch a lot, out for coffee, make small trips here and there together but never a real date because she's very busy with work, school and her family. We haven't had a class together since last spring, but we still talk. Sometimes she'll call me or I'll call her and we'll get together and go to lunch or meet on campus or hang out for a while. I've had periods whereI thought I needed to give up and tried (without her knowing), but she usually texts or calls me and we start talking again. I'm crazy for this girl. I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know if I've been "friend-zoned" or not, because it's hard to tell. I don't feel close enough to her to really be a friend, so I feel it might still be up in the air if we can have a relationship. I was thinking for Vday, before she goes to work at 3, I'd meet up and give her a rose and a short letter, telling her how I feel. I would love to it in person, but like I said, she works forty hours a week and I never have a good opportunity. Would that be a little too middle-school? I write so much better than I talk, because when I talk I get nervous and stutter and forget half of what I was going to say and so forth. I'm going to explode if I don't tell her how I feel. Even if she isn't interested, at least I'll have done it and I will have an answer. Good/bad idea? I'm drafting the letter now, just in case.

No dice. Give it up. Move onto the next adventure. Lemme just say, in the future ...do not leave voicemails or messages. Ever. EVER! That's a cardinal rule of dating for guys. Let them wonder why you didn't leave a message. For certainty, don't ever say "Let's hang out sometime". That leaves it way too open. Ask her on a date, and specify a time and place and everything. Then, if she flakes, you'll know for certain. Good luck.

A lot of what was said here is true. Holding onto hate doesn't do anything good for you. I don't feel like I am holding onto it, though. I just think of her, and think of what she did ...breaking up with me over the phone, sleeping with a player within a week, and spreading lies about me so she wouldn't have to face up to what she did. It just rankles me inside. I'm waiting for that moment to come. That one feeling, that epiphany, that's finally gonna put everything in place and help me move on for good. After it happened, my sister told me it takes at least half the time you were with a person to get over them. That would mean a year for me, then. She also warned me that after that year there's a good chance she's going to make some reappearance, and to ignore it, no matter how hard it is. Maybe if that happens, I can finally move on. Or if it doesn't, and it probably won't anyways, I can move on anyways, because by then I'm going to be living on Campus and having the time of my life.

So much of what was said is true. And believe me, I know it all. I guess sometimes you just need to hear some else say it to make it real enough to understand. I don't know what the deal is with her, anyways. If I am such a monster? Why the friend attempts? Why the IM's? Is she trying to provoke me, because that was the impression I got with her last attempt. And yes, when I knew her, she was worse than a kitten when it comes to needing attention. It wasn't uncommon of her to call two or three times a day with nothing to talk about, and then not let me hang up the phone. Grah ....vent vent vent.

Yeah, I've definitely taken that to heart. I've been out, active, doing stuff and living a good life. I don't sit at home and stew. It's more akin to a bug bite that, ever time I move the wrong way, starts to itch and won't go away. I made a vow to myself, a while back. You know when you run into someone you haven't seen in a long time, and they look terrible? I decided that if I will never be that person. If I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, I am going to look fantastic, and I do. I've gotten fairly cut as far as build goes, and I know my worth and it's given me all sorts of confidence. I'm told by a lot of people that I am very noticeable in a crowd, that I am well-spoken and confident, that I look great and all of that even is what helped me get my job as a CA. Don't worry. I am not sitting in a dark room gnawing on my fingernails. This is just some old splinter I want to pull out already and get rid off. It's that part that is still bugging me, though.

When she said "call me in an hour" I would've said something to the effect of "Well, if you can't make it, I need to get going home and *insert some excuse here*." Then I would make a polite goodbye, go home, and never call this girl again. Don't ever let a girl walk all over you like this girl is doing.

Well, ask yourself this: what if he does it again, which he very well may? In my own opinion, he betrayed you, and this sorta behavior may very well be habitual. Being drunk isn't some sort of excuse. That he was that drunk to begin with is bothersome, and that he then had sex with another girl, unprotected no less!, is just inconsiderate of you and your feelings.

Well Teacup, I am glad it is a stage of healing then. I wanna say here, before this might get heated, that I'm not trying to get angry here. I am taking what you guys are saying seriously. It's just this. I have already considered all this mean. When I say I dislike her, I mean it. I dont want her back. If she calls me, I won't answer. If she shows up my doorstep (which she never would. She doesn't have the backbone), I would send her on her way. I am doing quite well for myself these days. I am in the best physical shape of my life (almost down to 10% body fat now), I love my college classes, and I am going to be a CA at a college apartment complex this Fall. I guess the only reason I am even thinking about her anymore is this long and boring summer, and that the friends I have right now are all boring and I can't get them to hang out or anything. Simply put, I still feel some indignant anger over her lies. Hopefully, this Fall I will have a lot of new people to meet and she'll finally be pushed out of my thoughts altogether, but I just wonder if I need some sort of "closure", as it were.

Yeah, I was upset. Now I'm just pissed off. It's not really what she did at this point, but how she did it. And why is she trying to get in touch with me I have such "issues", as she has made a point of saying. I've never been so insulted in my life, because of her lies. It's like she can't just at least admit she broke up with me to cut loose. Oh no, then she would be a * * * *. She has to tell people she broke up with me because blah blah I suck blah blah.

There's no pain anymore. I'm beyond all that. Havent you ever been so insulted by somebody that it just rankles you for the longet time? You just wanna corner the person, read them the riot act, and put them in their place. I get the feeling you're bringing something personal into this, Teacup. Sometimes that sorta insight can be helpfull, but here you're just confusing me.

I agree here. You're better off not letting her back into your life and not clinging to some hope that she'll realize her mistake and come back to you. Life ain't a soap opera. Maybe you outa take yourself a little trip to Europe and hook up with a new person on your own, eh? Not out of spite, but just to have some fun and get over it all. Good Luck.