butterscotchbiscuit

i miss you. it's been three weeks since you told me you didn't love me anymore and it's only been 6 days since we haven't spoken, but i feel like it's been a lifetime. i miss when you used to call me each morning. i always feel the anxiety in the morning. we're states away now but i really thought you'd at least text me to ask if i made it safely. you used to care so much about me. i was your everything. i understand we had arguments, i understand we didn't agree on everything, and i understand we are two different people, but was there really so much wrong with us? am i really that bad? i'm scared i will never find anyone as good as you and i'm scared i'll never be able to move on. everyone is telling me to focus on myself but even that doesn't work i just feel worse. i want to lay in bed forever and never get up. everything seems pointless. how could you just fall out of love with me? you were my best friend. now what are we? we are nothing. we are strangers. i pictured us together forever, i really did. but you left me. you gave up on me. was it all so horrible? all the little reasons you left me were so minuscule it makes no sense. i will never understand. you said to me 'we all have to take chances and if it doesn't work just move on' i guess i valued you a little more than that to just be able to feel like you were so disposable. i miss you and i miss us. i miss everything. i hope one day i will look back and think it was for the best but at this time i feel like nothing worse could have happened. i miss you so much. i hope you miss me too. i honestly hope you're regretting everything but i doubt it. you've probably already moved on and found someone else you are interested in. i guess it all just meant so much more to me than it ever did to you. you broke my heart into pieces and i don't know if it will ever fully heal.