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septembermourning

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About septembermourning

  • Birthday 07/21/1975

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  1. I have the weirdest sleeping schedule and it's really bothering me. I go to work... come home around 6:30 or 7:00 PM, proceed to take a 3 hour nap... get up, usually go to the gym or just play on my computer and stay up til 2 or 3:00 in the morning! Then I get up for work at around 8:20 AM and start the cycle all over again!! It's terrible. I've had this weird napping thing ever since high school. I really want to break the pattern because I know I am more tired since my sleep is interrupted throughout the night as a result of it even though technically I am getting 8 hours per night! ON weekends, I will stay up really late and sleep really late til like noon or 2 PM at times! I feel like such a freak! I feel like I am so lazy but I seriously feel like I am a very tired person and I require a lot of sleep. I don't know what to do. I feel like there is no one out there like this. Most people my age (30) have normal schedules and go to bed and get up at normal hours. This really bothers me also because what happens when I have kids?? I'm going to have to be up early for them. At this point, I am single but then again how am I ever going to find a guy to match my weird schedule? I don't want him to think I'm lazy either. AND to be honest, I don't think I'd be attracted to a guy with these weird sleep patterns. I have had my thyroid checked and it is not that. I have always been this way. I just feel like there is seriously something wrong with me and I want to change it! Can anyone relate and/or help??
  2. I am 5'5 with broad shoulders and I look slender at 146! Your coach should be shot if she honestly said that you need to lose 50 pounds. Someone giving ludicrous advice like that should definitely not be in charge of teenagers!! Hearing things like this really scares me and is the reason why there are little 5 year old girls out there calling themselves "fat" You should seriously report the woman. I'm sure the higher ups at your school would be as appalled as I am.
  3. Coma: I've read over some of your other posts and to me its obvious why you aren't happy with her. It sounds like she completely depends on you and has no other outlets. No wonder the spark is gone. You never even have time to miss her. Now that I know more of the story, it's obvious that letting her go is probably the best thing you can do for HER as well as yourself. She really needs to learn how to be independent or at least not be completely dependent on one person. It doesn't matter how attractive she is, if she doesn't have a mind of her own well, then that WILL get old. Not to mention the HUGE pressure it puts on you to be her everything. Based on the things you said, it just seems like she wants to sit around and look pretty and have you take care of everything. Maybe I'm being harsh but that is the impression I get. Anyway, I'm sorry for you and her though because I can imagine how hard that is.
  4. coma: That sucks. What happened? Did you tell her that you love her and that you are willing to work on the relationship? I'm so sorry-- what are you guys going to do about the whole living together thing?
  5. She's lucky to have you. She really is. I can tell you do have something special with her. Let me know how it works out... good or bad. Obviously, only time will tell but even if it doesn't work out, you know that you did everything you could do to find answers.
  6. Coma: Here it is: The Truth About Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever by Dr. Patricia Love (Paperback) Just the fact that you care to look that up and that you are on here and you truly have been trying says to me that you love her enough to make this work! Good luck!
  7. Coma: READ THIS BOOK: It's called "The Truth About Love" Not sure of the author but it talks about how the spark dies and how that happens frequently even in the best relationships and how to work through it and realize that you can get it back. Just don't give up on your relationship until you have read the book. You might be giving up your soulmate.
  8. Lovesick: 7 years go I moved to this state, 5 hours away from my family to see if I had a future with my college boyfriend. He wasn't the only reason though because I was trying to gain my independence. I realized that he was not the right one for me and I ended it and I was in your situation now. I did not know one other person outside of him. IT was VERY hard because I worked with all older, married people and had NO social life. In time, I was able to build other friendships and move on but it was very hard. BUT I definitely was not as strong as you now seem. You really are inspiring to me and your hope is inspiring. I know that your good attitude will bring you good people. I know that my attitude is terrible right now and that I can't possibly attract the right people. But thank you so much for sharing your story and telling me not to give up because I do feel a little better. Thank you.
  9. Lovesick-- Thanks for your kind words. I am such a sensitive soul that breakups just always tear me up regardless of who does it. Like I had mentioned, I broke up with my 2.5 year boyfriend last October. I felt SICK SICK SICK over it. I felt sick in the four months before I did it, because I knew I needed to do it and then I felt sick for months afterwards because I knew he was hurting and I felt AWFUL. I always had this tight knot in my stomach and total dread to see him move on even though I know he is not right for me. It is so HARD for me to let people go. The only good thing about being dumped (which can also be bad) is that you can't regret it because it wasn't your choice. When I break up with people, I always wonder if I did the right thing. So I feel your pain also. I also wonder if I'm giving up the last person who will ever love me again. I know that is horrible but I do. I watch everyone around me moving on, getting married and having kids and it hurts so much because that is all I have ever wanted, was my own family one day and I worry that I will never get it because I have to depend on finding the right person. Ironically, guess who I have been leaning on since my break up? My ex. And he has been there for me. I know he still loves me but I also know that he doesn't want to get back together because we recognize that our differences could not be worked out. AND I don't want him back, being with the guy that DUMPED me made me realize I could feel again. I know it's not right to lean on him either but if he ever found this website and learned about NC, I'd be crap out of luck, now wouldn't I?
  10. Hi SuperDave- I think you are great and I love everyone on this string! I was very glad to find this website by accident and it has helped me a little today when I am feeling incredibly low. I was dumped after 3.5 months 10 days ago and I have had NC since it happened. It hurts so badly. I know that it doesn't seem like 3 and a half months is a long time to be this hurt but I am. I am 30 years old and I felt that I loved him. I was pretty shocked, especially since when we were together we were always laughing and having the best time. He was always very affectionate, holding my hand and stuff. Although he did not initiate sex alot (not to say that we didn't have sex alot but I just initiated alot of the time) so maybe that was a sign. When we were sexual though, it was very good and he seemed to be enjoying himself although I did feel sad because he never complimented me on my body, etc. (maybe that was another sign), and I am used to getting that in intimate situations. I have been in several relationships over the years and I had ended a 2.5 year relationship 8 months prior to meeting him. For the first time since my last relationship I finally felt like my sadness had lifted. I felt alive and hopeful again. I thought he could be the one because he had all those qualities i've been looking for. I spent time with his family and he always invited me along to family things and I loved them too. I felt like party of a real family (did not have much of one growing up). We spent a lot of time together and it was always good but lately, like in the week before it ended, I felt like I had done more initiating of times to get together but he always seemed more than happy to comply. The last week we were together (we were together 5 out of 7 days) I started discussing a couple of weekend plans in the near future and he got all freaked out. This just also happened to be one day after he found out that he hadn't gotten this promotion at work (that he has wanted for a year). He said he felt like he had been neglecting himself and his family and maybe he just needed a weekend to himself. Well after 5 days of not hearing from him, I confronted him and he ended it. He said that his feelings just weren't as strong as he thought they should be at this point. Apparently he has had a history of very brief relationships and has attributed all of these to trusting his gut. He also said that in a couple where he had stuck it out, his gut ended up being right. Meanwhile there has only been 1 person he's ever been in love with (he's 35) and she broke up with him almost 2 years ago. I feel like maybe he's still hung up on her.. Regardless I am so devestated. I know that I didn't do anything wrong. I never pushed the relationship or told him how I was feeling. I just don't get it. I am attractive, fun, caring, loving and kind and I did not act clingy or desperate or anything and we had so many things in common! I know that he just didn't feel it for me and I should understand that but I just can't. If he was physically attracted to me and truly had the best time when he was with me, why on earth would he want to break up with me? Two weeks ago, he was saying that we had a great relationship. After he broke up with me, he even said that he had made a pro/con list and that there had been so many pros and only a couple of petty cons but if his heart had been in the right place then those cons wouldn't have mattered. I am just so brokenhearted and I do want him back but when he did it, I couldn't argue with his reasons and I didn't try to get him to change his mind. He of course put the "friends" thing out there and I just said I didn't know about that. I actually met him on a dating site and one week later, I saw that his profile was back up on there which really hurts. So now I have put mine back up too even though I'm not really ready. I don't think he is going to come back to me but I really wish he would and I can't help but hold out hope. Lately I've been entertaining crazy thoughts of calling him to see how he is or asking him if he still wants to go with me to this wedding this weekend but I have always stopped myself. Alot of people on here have been dumped after years together and love had always present at some point in the past. Do I have any hope to expect him to come back when he never to seemed to have loved me to begin with? I just don't get it because he always seemed so happy. I am just so so sad and feel like I am going to be alone forever.
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