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Montrell274

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About Montrell274

  • Birthday 06/18/1986

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  1. so you are saying that as long as i know how to express myself, i am never out of place?
  2. i don't know, i guess at social points i feel out of place. Everyone will be talking about anything, but i don't feel like i have any input in the conversations.
  3. so, not knowing how to respond in social situations is a good thing?
  4. but i cannot afford to go to another country. About the genuine issue, I thought being outward and social was genuine. But the more I found myself in situations that I do not know how to respond in (ie. conversations, etc.), the more I find myself going in a downward spiral.
  5. i am comfortable when i don't have to act out, when things are natural. i rarely feel that way at times. i have always been to myself since high school, with a select few of friends, but all the constant bs that i've experienced gave me a hard, offensive and defensive shell. i don't know when people actually joke around or when they are serious. so i act out of seriousness whenever i am doing something, even something as simple as a videogame.
  6. It is at the point where I really don't know. Sometimes I feel okay, but most of the time, I don't. It is like I don't know what to do in social situations. It rarely feels natural.
  7. I don't feel bad about my location and my position at school..it is my ability to deal with people in general.
  8. problem: I'm in college, and a trip to another country is kinda expensive...
  9. For years, I feel like my life has been a see-saw. From humilation to ridicule, I feel like my life is a hecitc story. Now, I'm 20 years old and I still feel the pain of people. I have tried many roads in life. I have tried the 'never fold' approach in high school, standing up for myself and always being defensive. Then, I tried to be social, to be outward, which put me in situations that I do not know how to operate in (ie. not a strong conversationalist). Now I do not know where I am. I can still be set off at a drop of the dime, I feel that most of my friends are not really my friends. And I still have the same lonely, sad feeling, similar to my high school years. I hate how I was treated then, maybe it would be easier for me to relax around people if it never happened. Now I'm at the point where I'm practically tired of the same drama. I want a permanent escape, but there's complications. I have managed to become the Vice-President of a student organization, and a mentor of a summer program. I cannot escape from the world without leaving all of this behind. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have done this search for the real me, but all I have found is more headache and more drama.
  10. I think I'm going to take my leave from the world of relationships and dating and such. I'm tired of being disappointed (ie. burned, being pushed into the friend zone, the list goes on). I've been through so many 'friends' that it's ridiculous. Sometimes I don't think I'm attractive, or I just don't have 'it' when it comes to women. I'm a nice guy, so I get the backburner, because I'm not a hard a**. I just started trying to be social when I got to college last year, now a year later, it has not brought me anything. I'm still alone.
  11. Yeah, tonight, i'm just gonna come out with it. If i get the wrong answer, I'm ending the whole thing, no questions asked, no explanation.
  12. The thing is...I think ever since I told this girl how I feel, I'm basically hanging out there without any idea whatsoever how she feels. That's why I was so reluctant to actually tell her, because I knew this would happen. I think she just wants to be my friend and that's it. I've tried everything i can think of....
  13. Now the main question: what about valentine's day? I don't think I should really do anything TOO huge since she's not exactly my girlfriend. and her birthday is also a week away. I don't know if I should be over the top or what.
  14. Ok, so I stepped it up. It has been a few weeks since I told her that I really like her and I would be happy to pursue a relationship with her. We hang out a lot, but the only thing I'm scared of is being clingy and/or boring.
  15. I wanted to see if I am doing this right. I've been liking this girl for quite a while (a few months). During this time, I kinda play it cool, calling here and there, a few dates, etc. I think I wanna step up, but I'm also trying to play on how she responds to me. The catch is I only feel that typical 'friend' vibe from her. She's very shy and I don't just want to blurt out my feelings without some way of knowing hers. So I don't want to stick my head out without knowing that I can easily pull it back in.
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