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Bethany

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  1. I wish there were easy answers but just accepting that from time to time you will feel like this. And accepting that although 'it' does come, it will also pass with time too helps alot.ALso knowing that most of us at some point have felt like that can help too, you really are not alone in that. I don't think it's necessarily urgent that you confide in someone unless you have some problem turning over in your mind that you can't get rid of or your thoughts start to talk you into action, then you should speak to someone immediately and seek help and support from friends but also a doctor, but it does help to talk to someone who cares.
  2. You don't change your friends or your clothes, you change the way you think. Life doesn't have a fluffy cloud on which we can glide upon, it's very often a journey crawling into hell and back, a journey of growth and learning which makes us strong and wise and we stick it out to the end DESPITE the crap and crappy feelings we endure on the way. It's what makes us who we are. Life is never an easy ride but a ride very much worthwhile.
  3. You say that your dad passed away, surely you know the immeasurable pain of that loss so why would you put your mum through that? Surely you saw her suffer as you have and still do, I don't understand why you would even consider it after that? And I just don't understand this.... why are you at 19 even asking her for permission on how to spend your own money? I know you love your mum very much and her opinion means alot to you, and I also have teenage children of my own and all I can say is that my own kids buy whatever they like regardless of my opinion. All I can do as their mum is speak out and say what I think is best for them as I always have their best interests at heart but at the end of the day, it's their life and I cannot live it for them...they have to live it the way that they want and I have to understand that and support them in their decision. I guess I don't get it.
  4. Joining this a little late... I have studied extensively "The Workplace Sociopath". The general profile seems to be that they enjoy psychlogically hurting others, they enjoy psychlogically controlling, destroying and eliminating their target. Here is a small insight on a sociopath and his mindset from link removed... "The sociopath bully’s deliberate intention isto psychologically control and destroy their target,whilst deceiving everyone around them. He has a Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act. He has a compulsive need to control, dominate, and subjugate . The sociopath will have an obsession with elimination once he realizes that subjugation is not possible. His biggest fear is exposure and will destroy without conscience or remorse any person who sees through his mask and who tries to expose him. There is no time limit to his vindictiveness." I am not a psychiatrist b ut I am inclined to believe that in my extensive studies that if you are worried about being a sociopath, then your not. Sociopaths do not have that capablilty, they only worry that they are not getting their own way or that they are being exposed, hence the targets elimination.
  5. That is called " Playing the record" It is caused by introspection and mental fatigue i.e The more we think, the more tired our minds get, which causes our minds to think even more.. That is usually caused by the sustained fear that comes with the introspection and mental fatigue. You might even find at the bottom of your stomach a burning hot 'poker like' sensation which should be faced. That sounds very much like "Derealisation", where you feel like your living behind a glass wall or in an invisible bubble detached from everyone around you. You sound to me as if you have been in a state of constant fear and anxiety for quite a while and you can and will be cured of those symptoms by book called "Self Help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes.... Hope has just arrived at your door, my friend.
  6. I find it absolutely disgraceful that someone who has no understanding what it is like to be bullied at work can even comment or belittle someone else's pyschological injury in the way. By you saying that, you are being as bad as the bullies in her workplace. Shame on you. And although I do agree with walking away with your head held high can be the right thing to do for some ...Why the hell should someone have to switch jobs? People have a right to dignity at work and need support when that dignity is being effected. *I* only WISH people would understand that people can and do commit suicide because of this constant nitpicking, isolating, manipulative, insulting, intimidating, humilating, belitttling behaviour which very often they are not even aware of until they find themslves, their mental health, their self esteem and their dignity DESTROYED by it. I suggest the OP read throug all these sites and get some understanding of what is happening to her and why. link removed , link removed. There are also other sites I could point you to, if you need more help ok. Just message me or to go any online union or bullying site for more info, support and advice which seeing as you are posting on Suicide you very much need.
  7. Have you talked to your parents about how you feel? Sometimes we just have to be honest with ourselves and tell the people who love us unconditionally how we feel for them to help us. I am sure your Mum and indeed all of your family would feel absolutely devastated if one day you weren't lucky enough to survive and would feel alost to why you didnt turn to them. At least give them the chance. You have made a start to that by posting here so well done for that, it's one huge step in the right direction and I'm sure you will receive the support of us all. Also, have you talked to your doctor? It is very common for young men to feel the way you do, you only have to read this Suicide forum to see that, and there is no shame in needing a little medical help, the only shame is NOT seeking help when we know we need it most so please consider it.
  8. When I felt like you and when I was at my wit's end I bought a book called "Toddler Taming" for the very same reasons, which I found became my BIBLE for both my children and definitely sorted out ALL the problems in a short time I'm so pleased to say and I highly recommend it. It's a very difficult, stressful time for you right now, so don't struggle on alone Read that book and others too. The more practical support you can get, the better.
  9. When you start looking for love in all the wrong places there is obviously something going on inside you or something missing in your life and marriage that made you vulnerable to this happening, even though you were probably unaware of it in the beginning and had very little control over it. But now you are aware of it, you can do something about it and you can control where you go from here. I think a good end to this and a good start at rebuilding your life and marriage without him is to tell your husband that you started to look for attention from another man and go from there.
  10. I think your expecting way too much too soon. Making love is a deepening of the love feelings that you already feel for the person. At one month, it SHOULD be fun and games, becoming more open with each other, experimenting etc, not worrying about them telling you that they love you, because after one month they probably don't. Not yet anyway. That's something that time fixes, not positions or words.. And if you want to ask them to have slow sex in the missionary position, then tell them. It's all part of getting to know each other.
  11. You know, it's hard work being everything to everyone. In fact it's almost impossible because it causes extreme stress and a strain on our emotions. And at 17, I admire you for taking on so much but consider being everything to you for a while. You need you much more than you know. Give yourself a little respite.
  12. You know you can let it pass, there is no doubt in my mind that you can and will. So don't be bluffed by a feeling. If it's still there in the morning, then let even more time pass without fighting it. It WILL pass, you KNOW this..
  13. I'm not a doctor either but are you sure it's not Crohn's Disease? Because that CAN be treated or at least stabilised. Also Continence classed as a 'Disibility' and she could have disabilty rights and she should look into it before giving up. Must be hell, I don't envy her.
  14. That's fantastic news, I'm smiling from ear to ear for you. Sometimes when things get cloudy and pain gets in the way, we just can't see what's staring us in the face all the time but it doesn't mean that they are not there to see when the cloud passes over. Things can only ge easier from here after that. And even if they don't, you have us and you have your son, for as long as you need us. Good Luck.
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