lara78

i heard from him over e-mail...still no phone call, still no plans made. At the end of his first e-mail he said he hoped i wasnt mad that he didnt stay over sat night...i said i wasnt mad at all...we exchanged a few e-mails...then that was it...

So i saw that guyI've been asking about here on saturday. I called him after this party I went to at about 7pm (as planned) and he came over. we'd both eaten already. We decided to go for a walk by the beach. So we did that for about an hour or so, then we came back to my place and watched a movie. Hardly any touching took place at all throughout it...so at the end we kissed and he said he was going to leave. Last time we stayed in the same bed. I was feeling a little weird and i guess he could tell. He said that he didnt want me to think that all he was into was just hooking up with me...i said, is that all you think i'm into and he laughed and said no. We kept kissing...he had told me earlier in the night a little on the walk that he feels like i am confusing...i dont know how i have been. He said in terms of when we make plans he feels like i am...like i question whether we're still doing something, even though it's already been said that we have been. So tonight before he left i got a little bold and told him outrihgt that i get confused as to whether he wants to see me again after each date. He was confused and said, really? i said, YES. He asked if it would make me feel more comfortable if we just went ahead and made plans for tuesday. I stupidly said, no! because i didnt want to seem annoying. He said he does want to see me again and if he didnt he would tell me...so that made me feel better. He then told me that i'm welcome to come hang out at his place after work whenever (i work close to where he lives) so he seemed surprised about my uncertainty....but i dont think he was that clear with me...i told him that he doenst seem to like to make plans, he said he thought it seemed clear that he wanted to see me again. Confusion! so i did want him to stay (ho that i am i guess) but he said he thought it would be best if he left. So i walked him out, and asked who would call who next. He said we are past that stage and it shouldnt matter. So i guess i am not going to worry about it. He said he'd see me soon. We kissed goodbye, several times. So i'm glad we talked about it...i wished he would have stayed...but the last time things got pretty hot and heavy, no sex...so maybe he was thinking that would happen again and it may have 'frustrated' him. So that's it...he said he likes me and wants to see me again. AFter 3 weeks and all this confusion i guess that's all i can ask for. I appreciated that he asked if it would make me more comfortable if we just set up a date now...but i didnt want to seem annoying...

Orlander he hadnt invited me though. He mentioned that HE might go there himself and then asked if i liked gambling. That's not an invitation...i expressed that no i'm not that big into gambling ASide from that, i asked him to do something last sunday and he didnt come...i didnt get all bent out of shape about it.

well if he's going to never call me again because i said i'm not a huge gambler...then that's pretty stupid I am feeling like he's not overly interested at this point...but what's he emailing me for then? I feel like i did something to turn him off in the past week or so but i dont know what...we had fun the last time we hung out, he was telling me he liked me told me to call him when i left...but i feel like things have pretty much s*cked this week with him I'm so tired of meeting guys like...i just want to meet someone who will call me frequently, make plans with me frequently, just want to be with me and talk to me. Im starting to get angry. Its almost embaressing...im tired of feeling excited and telling friends, then when they ask about the person agian its like, oh well he never called again so that's over. I'm truly just ready for a relationship...i'm fun, attractive, nice, smart...i just feel like no one wants to be with me for very long.

So the guy and I have known each other almost 3 weeks now. We were e-mailing back and forth yesterday, he asked me what i'm doing for the rest of the week, i asked him. Neither of us had a ton going on. He mentioned that he might drive down to this casino place on sat and do i like gambling? I was honest and said i wasnt a huge gambler, then said i've been to that place before and it's depressing and smoky. I added that i do like slot machines sometimes. I just couldnt imagine spending a nice summer day there. So i never heard back from him after i sent that... At this point i dont know what to think...if he was completely uninterested he probably wouldnt have e-mailed me asking what i was up to...but at the same time he's not asking me out. I refuse to call him or ask him out because i did the last time...what do you think his deal is?

It sounds at this point like he likes you and is interested. I would just tread carefully since it's still early and you dont really know what he's like. It does seem like you both came on pretty strong in the beginning with all the contact you had and maybe that's why you are now confused. I would just go with the flow and dont put all your eggs in one basket yet.

well not to put a completely different spin on things, but dont you think he's a bit young for you? There's a big difference between a 26 year old woman and a 20 year old guy who is just out of his teens...He might be a great guy...but he's got a lot of growing up left in him. Do you think maybe he is a bit intimadated by you, you being the older woman and all? Perhaps he thinks anything he says will sound dumb to you and would just prefer you to be the conversational leader since you are older?

well you could even let him know that right now you are interested in someone else so dont want to string him along...and you dont feel a spark. Tell him he's a great guy and good looking too (:

just out of curiosity, what made your interest wane? I would be honest...just tell him that it seems like he is romantically interested in you and you are not looking for anything like that right now. Or you could just out with it and say that you didnt feel a spark between the two of you. Either way, he'll probably feel hurt/rejected...but he'll be fine.

no we havent had sex yet...i dont think he is inexperienced with girls and dating. I'm definitely not contacting him again...he can call me...

well if you do this, do this knowing that it will likely be just a few dates....nothing against stripper, but i'd say most of them have some issues to be doing the job that they're doing...if she's as gorgeous as you say and loves kids, what could have happened to her in her life to make her choose such a degrading profession? Sorry, but a genuinely classy woman with morals wouldnt do this And think of how your future wife might feel knowing you 'dated' a stipper. Cuz like i said...this one probably aint going to be the one.

so i need more advice. He did end up calling me on thursday and left a voicemail asking me out to the movies for friday night. i didnt get a chance to call back that night. So we went attempted to go to the movies, but it was sold out. He seemed bummed...i didnt see the huge deal, but he got over it. We went out to eat, then walked around the city a bit. He asked if i wanted to go back to his place...i went. We hooked up and while we were making out he said, i like you. He kept saying how nice it felt to be with me, he really wants to have sex with me, etc. I asked him are you just looking to get laid? He looked at me like i was crazy and said, i dont think i'm pushing that hard am i? he wasnt, but i guess i wanted to get a feel for things At dinner he mentioned that he had been discussing with people, dating stages. Like what are two people after a couple of dates, etc. He asked me what i thought we were. I said well i guess after a few dates, i'd call it dating. He didnt say much as to what he thought we were, i didnt ask. I guess i am nervous to ask. When i left his place the next morning, he said, call me. I said, today? He said, whenever. SO the ball was in my court and i didnt really know what to do with it. I would have been happy to have hung out with him again the next night, but didnt know if that was too much for him? It's confusing since last weekend we hung out 3 days in a row. I went out with friends that night, then texted him at 11 asking if he was still up. He said he was and to call him if i wanted. I did. I mentioned that i was going into the city the next day to watch the world cup, he said that sounded fun, i asked if he wanted to come, he said he maybe would and to call him in the AM. to make it short he did not end up joining my friends and I. no big deal. I missed his call, but he left a vm telling me he wouldnt be making it I called him back last night, and we talked for about 10 min. He is SO different on the phone than in person, he's quiet. He told me he hates the phone..ok fine. He said last night that he wants to be able to do it, but he just isnt good at talking on the phone. so i let him go. He said, i guess i'll talk to you later. So i dont know...i wish i had a better read as to what he feels about me...when we are making out in his bed, yes he seems into me, he holds my hand when we're out, he asked what i think we are...but then i get confused on the phone..or when we'll be hanging out again...i just like to know these things...

'I move on to someone who doesn't use me as their better-than-nothing date.' I guess i didnt word what i said correctly. He didnt mean that he was waiting for something better to come along. He jsut meant that he was not asking me to do something then and there because he had nothing for the 2 of us to do in mind. I still think we could have made plans...but whatever. He is actually new to the city so i dont think he has a lot of other options in terms of hanging out with people down here And he might be seeing someone else...he said he's not but who knows. If he is, i'm not sure why he spent as much time with me as he did last weekend...who knows. But i would say we are dating. Doesnt mean we are dating seriously or exclusively but when you've been out on a few dates with someone, made out with them, slept next to them in a bed...that's dating, even if you've only known them a week. so what do you think he is really thinking?

Some of you might remember my post from last week, i was worried about this guy i met the weekend before not calling. Well he did call, and we ended up going out thursday night, friday night, then spent all day together saturday and saturday night. So it seems he would be interested right? We just went out to dinner thursday and friday night, then saturday we went to my family's beach house. It was a very romantic date that day. We have slept in the same bed, made out, but nothing really sexual has happened, which i guess is a good thing. On Sunday morning we drove back home because he was going away with friends for two days. On saturday night he was saying things like, i think you're great, I'm glad we did this, I really like you. At this point I'd known him just a week so i thought it seemed sorta fast to say things like that, but we had spent a lot of time together. He was also asking lots of questions about my past relationships, would i marry a guy like this, blah, blah. He did however say at one point that we are not dating. I knew after a week werent dating, just getting to know each other, but if a guy feels the need to say that...does it mean he would never want to date the person they're saying it to? So when he left sunday he said Ill talk to you when I get back. He was coming home tuesday night. I didnt hear from him tues night, but didnt think much of it, firgured he was tired. I got into work wednesday and had an e-mail from him. He was saying how he had fun when he was away, how was the rest of my weekend, etc, then he said, talk soon at the end. I wrote back to him, but never heard back from him for the rest of the day. So last night comes, i dont hear from him. I did think it seemed sort of of weird, and i hate wondering what is up, so i sent him a text message. I said, hi, how's it going, are you still awake? He wrote back right away saying, just getting in the shower what's up, call me in 15 min if you want. So i called. He just didnt seem all that friendly on the phone. He wasnt saying a heck of a lot. I even said something about it jokingly. He said that he is talking and i shouldnt overanalyze everything. Last week he just seemed more happy to talk to me...last night he didnt. We talked for about a half hour. He asked, so are we going to hang out again? I said, yes were you going to call me again? He said he had planned to. It just seemed odd in terms of making plans, he said, maybe we can do something friday, i said, ok we'll do something friday then, then he said, well that's a possibility. Then he said, well maybe you can show me around the city on saturday. He said he really had nothing planned so he couldnt ask me out right then and there. So when we were hanging up he said, well let me know if you want to do something sometime. I was like, huh? when you put it like that it sounds like you dont even know me. he just sighed and said i was difficult. Am i??? I just think it's weird that we spent lots of time together last week, then this week he seemed distant, on the phone anyways. It irritated me. I hate it when guys are inconsitant, especially when you're trying to get to know them. I truly felt like he didnt really want to be talking to me on the phone last night...but last week it seemed fine for him to call me when he felt like it. At one point on friday i had been in the shower, came out and had 4 missed calls from him, and 2 voicemails. He was trying to be funny i think...but then i feel like i annoyed him calling him once after not talking to him for almost 3 days. Why can men be so fickle? When we were hanging up he made some comment about us going out again and i just ok, well give me a call. I really feel turned off from calling him again.

how long have you guys been seeing each other? It sounds like he is not over his ex. I dont keep pics of my ex around and i certainly would not want a new person to see pics of him. So it makes me wonder why he has this need to have pictures of her around The fact that he's leaving for 3 months is kind of a big deal, esp since you guys are not official yet. Maybe you will meet up again when he gets back, maybe not. Things can change quite a bit in 3 months SOrry to sound negative, but that's just how i see it. I think you are selling yourself short by putting up with someone who is still quite attached to their ex and is leaving the country for 3 months. If it's mean to be, it'll be...but it doesnt seem that way to me.