jenny_mcs

Yes, do a bit more! You really can't tell at this point, because it's still so close to the needles/hook. The beginning always sucks, lol. Hang in there. If you liked the yarn and the pattern, you'll be fine.

I think it's comparable to knitting, so yes, if you switch to a bigger hook, the stitches will be looser, and more flexible. However- how much of the scarf do you have? The first couple of inches of any project usually look pretty tight, and seem horrible, lol. You can't really get an idea of how the project till you knit/crochet a bit. If you only have a few inches, and are following the pattern, hang in there, it's probably fine.

Yeah, they should be soft enough that you would want it around your neck, touching your bare skin, and flexible enough to easily tie. What kind of yarn are you using? That might be the problem. (I knit, and have made a lot of scarves, but don't crochet.)

Wow, those are beautiful!! You should save them and use them next year to make holiday cards!

Ask her out on a real date and kiss her at the end of the night!! and.....GO BLUE!- ---jenny (Michigan alumnas)

I have a realtive that lives in Vegas and their next-door neighbor has been a dealer at Caesar's Palace for over 10 years. From what she has said, when you first start out, it can be difficult. You will have some pretty intense training, and once you are on the floor, you will likely get the least desirable shifts. She stuck with it though, and now she has the prime shifts, works less than 40 hours a week, has full benefits, tons of vacation, and owns not only her house but 2 other rental properties, all as a single mom. She has said when she works the prime shifts at the high limits tables she can easily bring home more than $500 in tips per night. So I think it might be hard to start off- but if you stick with it it can be a really stable and lucrative career. PS- she has also said that one of the reasons she did so well is that she has NO interest in gambling herself- the casinos make it all too easy to cash your check and head right out onto the floor to spend it all...

If your life is filled with people from all walks of life, but you always date girls with troubled backgrounds and lots of problems and dysfunction, then yes, it is you. Maybe it makes you feel good to feel like you are “saving” them. Maybe, since this started at a young age, it’s what you are used to (the drama). Maybe you are insecure, so girls who have their act together intimidate you. It’s hard to say. I guess start at the beginning. Think back on your last couple of girlfriends. What was it about them that really drew you in, made you want to call them, seek them out, date them, fall for them?

A little late to this thread, but I wanted to say that I think people show us pretty early on who they really are. Whether or not we choose to believe it or accept is another matter. n83, your bf sounds like he is selfish and, based on your last post, has some kind of crazy anger problem. Don't get down on yourself- it's been a couple of months, he's revealed what he's all about, and you seem resolved to dump him. It's all good- I'll only worry if you're still posting months from now, wondering why he didn't get you a birthday present or why he punched a senior citizen in the church parking lot

Please, please, do NOT beat yourself up over sleeping with him. Sure, it probably wasn’t the best idea in the world, but I think it is very understandable given your situation. I think your ex probably does miss you very much. I think he very much wants you in his life, which is why he kept contacting you. What happened when I laid it all out with my ex was this: I had ended things with him in December, and gone NC for about 2 months. We gradually started talking again (ALL initiated by him) in March. We very quickly fell back into our old patterns of IM’ing from work, talking in the evening. He asked me out to dinner and took me to a very romantic restaurant. The next weekend he took me kayaking. The next weekend he invited me to go to an arts festival. So we were in this pattern of talking all week (still 90-95% initiated by him), and doing stuff on the weekends. But, like you, I had these nagging feelings in the back of my mind. So finally, when he called me one night to invite himself over to watch movies, I laid it on the line. I asked him what was going on. Were we “just friends”? Were we working on getting back together? What was going on? He acted all surprised. He asked me why I had to put a label on everything. Couldn’t we just enjoy each others company? Couldn’t we just “be happy in the present?” That’s when I said “ I love you and think this relationship could work. If you want to commit to me and working on the relationship, let me know. If not, it is too painful to talk to you.” He made up some excuse and quickly got off the phone. The next morning I woke to an e-mail from him saying that he needed to put work first, he didn’t think he was cut out for “traditional relationships”, etc, etc, etc. I did not respond and truthfully, felt just as horrible as when I had ended things months earlier. I felt like I was back at square one. I immediately went into NC again. A month later he sent me flowers, started calling again, e-mailed me again. Talked about how lonely and sad he was without me. But this time I would not get sucked back in. To this day (and this all happened several years ago) he still occasionally e-mails or calls me. He sends me pictures from ski trips he takes with his buddies. He calls me and leaves me v-mails about things that are going on in his life. Although he has many friends and acquaintances, and he is very charming and successful, he is the loneliest person I know. He has told me that he has never felt closer to anyone than to me. But, despite all that, he has never once said that he wants to try again, that he would do things differently, or taken ANY action to get past his fear of commitment or intimacy. It took a long time for me to get over him, but I finally did, and I ended up meeting a great guy who wanted to commit to me, and who was not afraid to be truly open and intimate with me. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you all the details of my situation. I truly feel for you- I don't think anyone can understand how painful what you are going through is unless they have bene there themselves. ((hugs))- jenny

TryingToDeal- First of all, *hugs*. I think you’re feeling hurt (not excited, as your friends think you should be) because sometimes nothing hurts more than almost having what you want. You and your ex are talking, hanging out, having sex, making future plans, and that must feel so familiar and wonderful to you…but you know that you are not back together, and really are not even talking or working towards getting back together. I’m not a psychiatrist, but from what you described, your ex sounds like he has problems with intimacy and/or commitment. Twice he has asked women to move accross country only to end things with them when they got there. And with you- as soon as things started getting really serious- you were talking about moving to the west coast, he spent the holidays with your family, etc., as you said, he started distancing himself from you, and ultimately ended things. It seems like he wants a serious, committed relationship, but it scares the heck out of him. Flash to the present day- while you have this nagging sadness inside, he has exactly what he wants. He has your presense in his life, he gets to see you, talk to you, have you support him when he’s down, be intimate with- and he doesn’t have to give you any kind of commitment. Minus the long distance thing, I could have written this exact same post several years ago. When we started getitng serious, he started acting like a jerk- distancing himself, acting cold, etc. For my own peace of mind I finally had to end things. He would always contact me- wanted to hang out, go to dinner, spend the day togehter, etc. We got along and the connection was as strong as ever. What happened with me was when I finally confronted my ex – asking what was going on, where was this going, etc., he immediately retreated. Asked me “why I had to put a label on everything”, etc. Then weeks would pass, and he would start contacting me again. See, he was happy as long as I didn’t ask anything of him. I don’t have any doubts that he really loved me, but being committed and in an intimate relationship terrified him. I had to finally say to my ex- I love you and think this relationship could work. If you want to commit to me and working on the relationship, let me know. If not, it is too painful to talk to you. Your nagging feeling of sadness will not go away. I think you need to lay it on the line with him- either we are working towards reconciliation, or I need NC. Good luck- jenny

I can see it from both sides. She had your stuff for 6+ months, so maybe she assumed you didn't want it, or at the very least, that it wasn't important to you? Anyways, it certainly would have been a lot more polite for her to give you a few days notice to come by and get the things. Hope you were able to get your stuff, and maybe this will be the final "push" you need to completely get over her. Good luck.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I really feel for you. I agree with the other posters who say that this guy, with the way he is acting right now, does not deserve any of your efforts or attention, and I think what would be healthiest for you would be to completelty stop any and all attempts to contact him. You mention that you 2 have been broken up for quite a while and that he has been treating you poorly for quite a while also. As sad as it can be, sometimes we can get "used to" being treated poorly, so that it seems "normal". But you need to remind yourself that it is not OK to be treated this way or spoken to this way. Try to spend time with people who DO love and respect you- whether it's family or friends. Get used to being treated well, you deserve it!

I have read every word of your posts, and I think, as a whole, you are a very angry person. I, like others, am posting to try to shed some insight on your situation, based in my own experiences. You seem to quickly jump to anger and sarcasm when you don't hear what you want. I'll bow out of responding to your threads now. Good luck.

This is a quote from another of your threads: "If she REALLY wants her stuff back that baddly, she'll have to give me a little bit more kindness and respect. " Do you see how this way of thinking is a problem?

I think, if she wants to bring her dad, you should respect that decision, and not try and control the situation. It is not your place to tell her what would be easier for her- if she wants to bring her dad, then clearly that is what woud make the situation easier on her. I think another poster hit the nail on the head when he mentioned your control issues. You seem intent on somehow controlling this situation- you get upset if her tone, the content of her e-mails, and now her response time is not what you think it should be, and are quick to see this as a sign of some kind of disrespect. She is doing what is best for her right now. In my opinion, nothing she has done has been disrespectful.