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Boricua7

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Boricua7 last won the day on April 10 2006

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About Boricua7

  • Birthday August 15

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  1. I already have two jobs. My dad has threatened to take away my car even though I pay insurance on it because it's under his name. It would be almost impossible to get to work if he did. He has also threatened to cancel my cell phone line because he pays for it (he can't take my actual phone because I paid for it). I am so scared to leave my mom and sister. My mom loves my dad and I honestly fear she won't leave him. I know she loves my sister and I but I know she will stand by his side until things get too nasty and I don't want it to get that way. I know if it gets out of hand my mom will put her foot down and protect us but I don't want it to have to get out of hand for her to finally do something about it.
  2. Hey everyone. I haven't posted on here in a long time but as sure as the world turns things aren't always perfect. I haven't been living with my parents for almost a month. One night I was staying out with my best friend and my mom called telling me that my dad wanted me home. She had just recently allowed me to stay the night with my friend. I asked her why and all she could say was that my dad just wanted me home. My dad has a tendency of being controlling. He had no reason to have me home besides the fact that he wanted me home. At 1:30 in the morning my dad calls my friend's house enraged that I'm not on my way home (P.S. my curfew is 3:00 am). I tell him that I don't want to talk to him because he's being irrational but all I can do is hear him screaming so I hang up. He calls back again even more mad and yells at me to never come back home. So I don't. I was too scared anyway. The next day I go home while no one is home and I find all of my earthly possesions thrown down the stairs in front of the front door. My friend was with me. We quickly got everything together in both of our cars and left. The other night I talked to my ex. We had gone NC for awhile. He asked me how I was doing and if I was still living with my friend. This threw me off. How did he know that I wasn't living at home? He tells me that he bumped into my sister and she told him. When we get done talking I confront my sister about her conversation with my ex. She doesn't want to tell me anything about what they talked about. I get upset and call my mom. It is around 1:00 in the morning. My mom comes upstairs to my room and I tell her what happened. She gets mad at me for waking her up and goes back to her room. She returns minutes later asking me why I woke her up just to get my sister to tell me what my ex said. That's not why I woke her up. I was upset and I knew she'd understand and would be able to calm me down. My dad comes upstairs and turns to my mother telling her that he predicted that I would go psycho. Then he gets in my face screaming that I am destroying the family and that when things don't go my way I want to bring down everyone with me. All of this over nothing. I'd been trying to leave to go to my friend's house because I told her what was going on and she said to come over. So my dad keeps getting in my face and all I want to do is get away from him. I run downstairs and I hear him running after me. He's screaming that he's going to kill me so I run towards the knives. I'd be crazy not to take him seriously. He grabs me from behind, bites me, and then starts to strangle me. My mom and sister run down the stairs. My mom pulls him off of me and my sister starts crying in a corner. I had just moved back in 2 days ago. My question is, what should I do? My friend tells me that she doesn't feel comfortable with me still living here. She wants me to move back in with her. I don't want to leave my mom and sister though. I'm 19 and my sister is 18. I also don't want to burden my friend and her family. I'm scared though. My dad's already thrown my sister into a wall and grabbed her by the neck when he got mad at her for not wanting to go to Jacksonville with us and now this? How long 'till he hits my mom? How long 'till he actually really hurts or even kills one of us because he can't control his anger? My mom only managed to get him off of me because he let her. He is stronger than all of us. If he wanted to kill me there is nothing no one could do. I'm so scared and confused. I don't want to call the police on him. He is a customs agent. That would ruin his career and then he wouldn't be able to support my sister and I nor would he be able to support my mom. He is an Air Force guy so not only could I get him on assault but assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder. I don't want to do that to him though. No matter what he is still my dad. What should I do???
  3. I read the original post and most of the responses. I'm not going to lie, I didn't read everything in the thread so excuse me if I say something that makes no sense or has already been clarified or what have you. I have been in a similar situation with few exceptions. I encourage you to talk to your mom and let her know all you know and what you think and feel. I also encourage you to do the same with your dad. Do not try to be the mediator between the two. Your parents relationship issues are strictly between them even though it does effect you. Try not to make either of them feel like you're taking sides either because that could cause them to lash out on eachother for "brainwashing" you. There is little you can do when your parents are at odds but let them know how you feel, give a little advice maybe, and remind them that you love them no matter what. Taking his computer away from him will not solve anything. If he really wants to he can find a way to continue with his "e-affair". I can't remember who said it but they were right when they mentioned that it is more important to work on why it is that he is behaving the way he is. Sorry again for not directly quoting who said it but I agree with the person who mentioned that when you do talk to your dad, to make sure that it is more of a "I feel this way...", "I want to know why..." rather than a "Why are you doing this to us?", "You are a bad father." type of conversation. It will be hard but try not to accuse your father of anything. Just stick to the facts: He's on the computer a lot, he looks at dating magazines, he has a past as far as e-mails go. I hope everything turn out all right!
  4. I don't know if anyone would agree with me but when you're with someone and you love them you don't really care about trivial things like whether or not your partner shaves or how their privates look. Honestly, I could care less what it looks like as long as it feels right (and good).
  5. Generalizations. Oh how horrible they are. The point has been made not to generalize so I will say no more on that. WOW. I don't think anyone in their right mind should ever allow a person they do not know into their home let alone someone offering to do something that requires to touch you in private places! I could see, how going to a hospital you may not know the procedures so if your doctor was sexually assaulting you, you might think that maybe it was part of procedure but to let a stranger offering to touch you for free into your house, sorry but that's just plain not thinking. What a horrible thing to do though! Trick innocent people into a false sense of security. Who's going to say "No you're not a doctor"? What an a-hole! I'm glad that woman called the police! As far as the other link about the fake officer, I'm sorry but if I was told to smack a naked minor in the buttocks I would call the police just in case. That poor girl! Her mother had lost her job and now she was the source of income. She would have left had keeping her job not been so imperative. Apparently this fake officer knew a lot about the employees he would get employers to violate. How dare they take advantage of a young woman's (or anyone's) financial situation!? That's just wrong! I hope these guys rot in hell forever! That just goes to show that the world ain't all bad but there are sickos out there. *shudders*
  6. I think I am the best example of men and women being able to be friends. All of my friends are guys. I just don't tend to get along with girls. I don't like the drama. None of my guy friends are guys that I would be romantically involved with. Not that they are bad guys and I wouldn't want to date them or that they aren't attractive, that spark that you need to make it something more just isn't there. My guy friends are like my brothers and incest is just wrong! I'm not going to lie, I have had a boyfriend or two that started out as just a friend but isn't that the best way to go? I mean, the term "boyfriend" implies that they are a friend who is a boy (and that there's a little something extra). I don't see how a relationship can work out if you aren't friends.
  7. I don't see why you shouldn't add her especially if you guys have hung out once before.
  8. When did you have time for tae kwon do (I mean, it's not on your schedule)?
  9. I'm into hands too but I would never do something like that unless I really cared for the person. Your face is something that you tend to protect so for her to place your hand on her face is her allowing herself to be vulnerable around you. It means she trusts you and more importantly, that she feels strongly for you. This is how I interpret it (or alteast what it would mean if I did it). I hope this helps!
  10. Why don't you start the relationship on a good foot and be honest? It's quite possible that he's metro or even bi but I doubt that he would be with you if he's gay. Be honest and just talk to him. It'll be ok.
  11. Haha, is that a bad thing? I hope I'm not bringing back bad memories of psychology experiments gone awry or something. This is true. So using any defense mechanism is only good temporarily? That makes sense. Yeah me either! I can't even being to imagine what that would be like.
  12. Thinking more in-depth about depression, what are your thoughts on dissociation? I know that I have used it time and time again as a defense mechanism. I know there are many other defense mechanisms and I am wondering if dissociation is a good one or whether another, more healthy, defense mechanism should be used. For example, sublimation (a form of displacement) or even reaction formation (converting an uncomfortable feeling into its opposite). I read that dissociation can lead to a disorder called DID (dissociation identity disorder). People who have been diagnosed with MPD (multiple personality disorder) are those whose dissociation went to the extreme. So do you think dissociation is an unhealthy defense mechanism?
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