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justpaisley

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justpaisley last won the day on October 21 2006

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About justpaisley

  • Birthday 08/05/1980

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  1. That's great news! The initial engorgement is pretty painful, I'm sorry it went so wrong for you I rented a Medela double-milking machine for $45 a month. If that sounds good to you, you could probably ask the lactation consultant who in your area rents them. When you do want to stop, do a step-down method. I did that - went from pumping 8 times a day to 6 to 4 to 2 - and I didn't get engorged. Good luck, sweetie. I hope it's much better from here on out.
  2. Have you spoken to a lactation specialist? If not, ask your OB if there are any in your area - someone who medically specializes in breastfeeding. There's one in my area, so let me know if you happen to live in central Mississippi
  3. Do you think that maybe you can stop for a little while, then re-lactate after all this is done, or would you bring the infection back? I hear it's hard work, but it can be done.
  4. I think you definitely need more answers than the ones you've been given. Anytime you think of something to ask, write it down, and call Monday. Get you a big ol' list. You sound like you've got a lot of unanswered questions, and you deserve to know what the heck's wrong and what your future holds. It does suck feeling like your body's betrayed you. I honestly felt like less of a woman... I went through a lot of crap just to get one baby, and so many women do it so easily. It's difficult to take! The girls might go back to normal, if slightly more loose - the abcesses shouldn't change them much as far as their looks. Mine were pretty perky, now they're a little bigger and a little lower, but they're still good. They get the job done.
  5. Is it possible that it was drained completely, but more fluid has developed? That'd not necessarily be a bad thing (gross, certainly, but not bad), it's just your body's way of getting rid of the bad stuff. (Preggos stop reading... now.) I developed a hematoma (like a bruise) because of an infection behind my c-section incision. It popped open at my incision site and left something of a hole there, and likewise was oozing all kinds of sexy. I asked the doctor why it couldn't just be drained and sewn back up again, and she said that my body would continue to produce that gunky stuff to protect itself from infection and promote healing. I had to keep gauze packed in there till it healed up. The gauze packing itself wasn't so bad - I had a home nurse do it, then when I realized they were always late and wholly irritating, my husband (whom I love more than life itself) started doing it, and once, my mom. Then I got over the ick factor and started doing it myself. It's not painful, just gross. Huge, huge hugs to you.
  6. Oh, bless your heart. That must have been SO painful!!! I am so sorry you've had to go through this. It's disappointing to have to give up breastfeeding, but you did really, really well, and didn't have much of a choice. You did better than I did - I pumped exclusively for 4 months and had to give up simply because I hated it, no medical reasons involved! Don't worry - formula is good stuff. I am absolutely amazed by your determined attitude - you're such a good mom. I just read all of these posts and saw everywhere that you basically said "This too shall pass," one of my key phrases. It sucks having to worry about ourselves when all we want to concentrate on is our child. I hope you're able to get past all this crap and just be a mom very, very soon.
  7. Wow! That's a big belly for 28 weeks! Awesome!
  8. It is a REALLY good idea to have AD&D insurance (accidental death and dismemberment). If your husband were to suddenly be rendered incapable of working through dismemberment, you'd get a big payout to take care of anything you need. My husband's AD&D policy is REALLY big, because I'd have to use it to go to school to continue to take care of our son - I'd never want to get rid of that. If your husband's in debt, look at his other expenditures. Don't cut out insurance. And if you think it's petty, it probably is. Pick your battles.
  9. So it's all good, right? Their pain is your gain? Today's molested girl is tomorrow's spank bank? Children in the Phillippines choose to work for 3 cents a day to make the clothes that line Wal Mart shelves every day, yet we as a nation decry this practice. Impoverished people choose to work for minimum wage or less every day, yet people constantly cry "exploitation" on them. Drug-addicted people do anything they can to get a fix, porn and prostitution being among the most salacious. Women who have been sexually assaulted, whether through molestation or rape, often turn to promiscuity as a means of exercising control over their sexuality. Homeless women will do almost anything to get food. These are women in the deepest, darkest pits of their own personal hell, whose arrested development has manifested into a career in porn. But hey, it's a "release" for you, so it's okay. I have a close friend who 20-some years ago got himself through college by writing, acting in, and producing over 400 adult films. He met thousands of actresses, and he estimates that some 90% of them had serious drug or alcohol problems. Whether the career in porn caused the addiction or the addiction caused the career in porn he couldn't tell, but he is ashamed every day of having exploited their weakness. These women are forced... sorry, "encouraged" to have sex with these men without condoms constantly. Hooray for the spread of disease and unwanted pregnancy! Next time you watch one of these movies, I want you to think about why the woman is in it. What happened to her to make her choose to get pounded by multiple men every day. Think about her father molesting her. Think about her taking the money from her day's work and going to do a line or to shoot up. Think about her sitting in a homeless shelter with her 3 kids wondering desperately what she can do to feed them and some thick-chain wearing idiot comes to her rescue. THESE are the actresses you get off to. You can delude yourself into thinking that they're all doing it because they love the sex - but it's simply that, delusion. I'm tired of hearing on this board that all women who don't want their men to watch porn are jealous or overly controlling. Some women respect themselves, and don't like seeing other women exploited. Porn is a blatant exploitation of hurt and hurting women, but nobody considers that. The porn industry is ethically reprehensible.
  10. It'd just be best to let the three of them iron this out and then wait until his daughter is completely comfortable "sharing" her dad, so to speak, before trying to get re-introduce yourself into her life. You can't force kids to be comfortable, or to easily accept the demise of their parents' relationship. You're very lucky that the mom is so understanding - that is a huge blessing. It'd be VERY hard if she weren't supportive. Just let it iron itself out without trying to help. Be supportive of your boyfriend. Also, please keep an eagle eye on your relationship, and if it's starting to fall on hard times, don't try to re-introduce yourself into her life at all, unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're in it for the long haul. I'm talking engagement or some other form of commitment. My dad brought woman after woman after woman into my life and I was in a consistent state of confusion and anger. Anger with my dad, anger with these women... it was just always confusing. I wished often that he wouldn't have introduced me to any of them until he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was going to stay with them.
  11. Good gravy, you almost made me spit out my Diet Coke. I wanted to add though, just be expecting to spend more than you thought you would in the first few months after the baby's born. Not on just impulse purchases (stay OUT of the baby clothes aisle!!!! ) but on stuff you never thought you'd want or need. Although you're avoiding the major expenses by breastfeeding and using cloth diapers, there are still going to be things that will come up that you couldn't have anticipated. And better still, there are the things you know you absolutely need, but never ever use. For me, it's been the sling (my kid HATED it), the snugli (ditto, plus it KILLS my back) and now the hip hammock. Basically anything that helps me carry my giant child has been useless to me. Coulda saved $100...
  12. Prune juice is good. It helped my kid go. Also, warm apple juice. Lots of leafy greens, less cheese and meat. Lots of water. Oatmeal. Stool softeners (not addictive, unlike laxatives). Broccoli and carrots. A fiber supplement. Warm baths. And then there's always my great-grandma's sure fire cure for constipation. 6-7 shredded large carrots, one can of cut up pineapple pieces, a handful of raisins, and a little bit of mayonnaise to get it all to stick together. Always works for me. Don't do all of this at once, as it'll make you gassy, which'll be even more uncomfortable. Try one at a time till you find something that works for you.
  13. That's great! Looking back, I do wish I had gone with cloth diapers. Now the investment wouldn't make much of a difference, but it sure would have been cheaper from the start. I think all you need to budget for, then, is baby wipes and diaper rash cream (assuming you go through a tube a month - my son's never had a diaper rash, so I haven't even gone through the first tube I was given). I spend probably $20 a month on baby wipes. You might want to prepare for the possibility that you can't, or even don't want to, breastfeed. I wanted desperately to, but my son never caught on, so I pumped for 4 months, hating every minute of it, and started feeding him formula at 5 months. I buy the organic stuff, which is expensive at $28 per can, but you can get non-organic at around $20 per can. At the height of his consumption, my son went through around 5 cans per month. (I'd normally be converting all of these amounts to Canadian, but my son's in my lap and it's tedious enough typing with one hand. ) Also, if you're going to be working outside the home where you can't nurse, you can rent one of those newfangled high tech electric double milking machines, if you haven't already bought one. Mine was $45 a month. For later on, baby food. I think my son goes through $2.50 a day, approximately, on baby food (that's with coupons). Again, though, that's the organic stuff. Non-organic would probably save me 50 cents a day or so. Oatmeal isn't expensive at all. The stuff I buy is around $3, and it lasts him a couple of weeks. He hasn't started on "grown up" food or baby food with meat, so I'm not sure how much that'll cost. My son was premature, and wore preemie clothes for about a month, then went to newborn/0-3 month stuff, which he wore till he was 6 months old, when he went through this major growth spurt and jumped right into 6-9 month stuff, so I skipped having to buy 3-6 month stuff. I probably spent a little over $100 on something like 10-12 onesies and 10 or so pajamas, and a few pairs of pants. A department store near here had a HUGE sale, it was nice! I'll probably have to buy more in the next month or so. They grow fast, these children. You won't need to worry about that for a while, though, because if your family/friends are anything like mine, you'll be swimming in newborn onesies. Daycare is a gigantic expense, too, if you're going to use it. I don't know about where you live, but it's about $400 a month around here, approximately. I don't know about for little babies though, but it's probably more. It's also really hard to get into daycares around here (one of my friends is on a waiting list that doesn't have an opening till next year - and she's not even pregnant), so maybe if that's the case where you live, start looking for daycares now. Oh! One more thing - if you have a swing or a bouncer or anything else that requires batteries, definitely fit that into your budget. It's small, but it's IMPORTANT. When your baby won't sleep unless he/she's in his/her swing and you realize you're out of batteries, you're going to want to fall off a cliff. Or maybe that's just me. That's all I can think of for now
  14. I had it in April of '05 and I am so, so happy with it! I loved the results so much that I've become like a laser eye surgery evangelist. Here's what I remember: First, I was given a Valium and told to sit in a recliner and relax. I wished I had brought music. They left me there for about 20 minutes, and I nearly fell asleep Then I was led into the operating room and given a stuffed teddy bear to hold on to. There were a few doctors in there, my own included, and a guy whose function was seemingly only to explain what was going on. I laid down on the operating table and was given some drops to numb my eyes, then some more drops the function of which I don't remember, but they made me blind for just a second. My doctor waited a minute, then poked my eye (which I could see!!!!) and asked if I could feel that. I couldn't, so on went the show. They clamped my eyes open, which is the most uncomfortable thing ever. You can feel the clamp going in under your eyelids, but you can't feel your eyes. It's very strange. It doesn't hurt, but the sensation of not being able to close your eyes is pretty strange. haha - I'm blinking right now just thinking about it. Then they get to work. They slice your eye open and then you can see the laser blinking as it's zapping your eye. Then they fold the flap back over and you can instantly see again, even though it's a little blurry around the edges. They take the clamp out and all you want to do is keep your eyes closed for like a day. Not being able to close your eyes is the worst part!! I walked out of the operating room and was given some eye drops (steroids for inflammation and moisturizers to aid in healing), a mask to wear at night so I didn't rub my eyes, and instructions. The lady told me to go home and take a long nap. As soon as I got in the car with my hubby, I shut my eyes. I remember opening them when we were almost home and looking at a street sign and being in total disbelief that I could see it so clearly. I tried taking a nap, but couldn't, so I just walked outside and chatted the neighbors up. The rest of the day was a little uncomfortable, but no worse than, say, wearing contacts all day and them being irritating that night. I felt perfectly fine the next morning, like nothing had ever happened. My eyes were a little dry, but otherwise, no pain, no discomfort, nothing. My one regret was going to a very windy, very dusty New York City the following week! I was using those eye drops left and right!! So was it worth it? For me, 100 percent! I'm so happy to not have to use glasses or contacts anymore, especially now that I have a baby that grabs everything in sight! I spent $2400 on it, and could not be happier with the results. Hope this helped!
  15. Do you live with your family, or does your family have any financial control in your life whatsoever? If your family contributes to your life financially in any way, like if you live with them or they pay your bills, then they do have the right to intervene. If you're completely financially independent, then let your parents know that you appreciate their concern, but you'll be fine.
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