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patience

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patience last won the day on December 4 2005

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  1. I sent a friend a really nice birthday gift. I know that she has received it three days ago. She hasn't called, or even emailed to say thank you. I feel hurt. Has this ever happened to you? I don't know how to take this.
  2. okay...well, try to just chill a bit it will take time to rebuild trust and faith in the relationship and the committment ...maybe she is enjoying you getting a taste of how it was for her? that is just human nature...nothing to worry about unless she starts to play with your feelings (you'll know, you'll 'feel' that something isn't right) good luck!
  3. 'love addiction' does exist counselling is often necessary to break the cycle
  4. ohhh...hmmm... I'm not sure what is going on with her. Has she ever been manipulative or coy in the past? Has she ever been a game player? Maybe she is being cautious. I'm not sure. Maybe she is enjoying how much you want her? It's hard to say. Do you know who called her? Are you sure she is not seeing anyone else?
  5. Have you told her that you know that you hurt her? Does she know how sorry you are? Have you asked her if she is feeling cautious? You could come right out and say, "you seem to have your guard up, and I totally understand. Can we talk about this?" something like that often times, guys are feeling and thinking so much more than they say...and their gfs don't realize how much they really care ask her what she needs from you at this time to feel more secure...ask her if there is anything you can do to show her that you want to be with her just talk to her the way you are talking here...she needs to know what is going on inside of you (within reason) often times people are afraid to simply open up, but when they do, they wonder what took so long
  6. on again/off again relationships are harmful to one's psyche...in other words, these kinds of 'relationships' will mess up your head! have you heard of intermittent reinforcement? if not, google the term... NC is hard to do, but in this case, I think it is essential so that you don't lose anyone of your own self in this mess also google "ambivalent men"...you'll find info. about guys like him (they often do not change, even with therapy)
  7. how long were you together? on a scale of one to ten, how 'bonded' were you with her? you are in the early stages of NC, and it is hard...the first 30 days are the worst
  8. has this happened to you before? have you been attracted to emotionally or otherwise unavailable people in the past?
  9. how long ago was the breakup? how long have you been doing NC?
  10. Tell her this. For a relationship to work, there has to be balance...and open, honest communication. Just be upfront with her. Don't play games. There is no need to be manipulative. If you cannot be honest with her, why be with her?
  11. Talking on the phone and with email is not good. You are both missing a lot of information (especially body language and eye contact). It is clear that you have feelings for her. Are you willing to meet with her to talk in person? Without a face to face conversation, I think you are both making assumptions and perhaps coming to inaccurate conclusions. If you want to try again, be upfront and honest with her about this. Ask her straight out if she also wants to try again. ...you may both be wanting to get back together, so why not find out for sure? Again, I stress that this conversation should happen in person.
  12. Lioness, Stick with the NC. You are right, he is not taking any responsibility for his choices and actions. He didn't even apologize for his actions! He is choosing to be immature. He has baited the hook...don't bite.
  13. I've been in NC with my ex for nearly two months. (He was cheating on me, I ended it...he thinks he ended it, whatever) I ran into him about a week ago. He waved to me, I just kept walking. Anyway, a few days later, he left a box of things at my door, including presents I had given to him while we were together! I NEVER asked for anything back. I haven't emailed or called him since the breakup. Why did he do this? Is he playing head games with me? Why did he wait so long to return my things? I'd appreciate any advice, suggestions, insight! Thanks!
  14. hmmmm maybe he is a 'charmer'...sometimes they fool a lot of people has he ever cheated on you? flirted with others in front of you? is he committment phobic? has he cheated on past girlfriends?
  15. he's not that into you if I wanted to be with someone, I wouldn't make excuses like this I think you should keep communicating with him, find out what is really going on here it's not okay to string you along if he is not really interested in getting back together...and hanging out with him is going to really hurt you he doesn't seem as invested or as ready/willing as you are to try again
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