Dr

Facial expression gives away a lot - Normally. I say normally because some people like myself actively hide facial expressions in public. I can be outside talking to someone and I won't show any emotion. It's a defensive thing. Took my GF a while to get the hang of understanding it Tone of voice is also another give away - again, normally. Same applies. Some people you can read like a book. Others (like me) who like to be less obvious don't give much away and tend to conceal any emotions towards people. Doc

Just to make something clear: I am male You should listen to your GF. If she is happy with the way you look then be happy. I also used to be worried about the way I look. It was only when I met my current GF that I realised I was likable by women. Now I realise that I'm not ugly, disgusting etc. I stand the same chance as everyone else. Be happy with yourself. Doc

Lol... I know your problem.... You've lost your manly confidence. Something I suddenly gained when i found my first GF. Being nice, polite, caring etc to women just doesn't seem to cut it. Women seem to like the hard nut, rude, ego-headed type blokes. I dunno why but it just seems to do the job. You should try being arrogant again mate Doc

This is best left alone. You also state that his mother said he never got over you. This may be the case however in all honesty he will probably not answer you for fear of being hurt again. You should not of dis-trusted him the first time around. You valued other peoples opinions more than your relationship with him. Let it go. He may be with someone else now. He is not a yoyo that you can pick up and put down when you want. Regards Doc

He's trying to se what you will do. It's a power thing. He wants to know whether he still rocks your world or not. It's an ego thing. I'd say your good to ignore it. Doc

You don't need to forgive him, yet you also do not need to feel angry at him anymore. As you said, it has been a long time. Don't stay angry or it will (as already stated) consume you. If you see him again though, there is certainly no need to let him feel forgiven. He did wrong, not you. Try to move on with your life now and find another special person. Doc

Yep, feeling sad also. Controlled pretty well at the moment but if things get much worse it won't be. Fallen out with a long time friend today. Hes been a good friend for about 3 years - Today he insulted me beyond reason. Doc

At 20 you are old enough to know what you want and the associated risks. I don't know anyone who has held onto their virginity until they are married. Fact: Other than the church bells at the wedding, there are no bells or fireworks when you first sleep with someone. The heavens don't break open and angels certainly do not sing. It is not a crime to sleep with someone you are attracted to if you are not married. Most religions will try to convince you it is, however god put us on this planet with reproductive organs and instincts for a reason - He also doesn't demand worship. If you like this guy and feel that you want physical sex with him then go for it. Just be sure its what you really want. Sex isn't naughty, it isn't wrong, it isn't a crime. It's natural. You are attracted to someone and your hormones and instincts have kicked in and are telling you what your body wants; Him. If you decide to do this, just be careful. Condoms are also not a crime and asking your man to use one should not land you in his "Emotional Jail". If he pressurises you into letting him not use one then he has no respect for you. If he truly cares, he will respect your wishes to be safe. If you are both nervous, alchohol can relax you both (Don't get drunk, just relaxed). The most important thing is that you both feel right doing it. No pressure on either person. With regards to your mother saying you should only be touched by one man: I've known plenty of women with this silly idea. They end up with a man for their entire lives who then beats them when he's drunk, doesn't make them happy, makes them cry almost every day etc. Yet it's apparently fine for us men to have sex with limitless women. I respect your mother for her morals and her fine effort in teaching you right from wrong. She's clearly done a great job HOWEVER... Life isn't a fairytale. People don't always stay together for life. People split up, have affairs etc. You shouldn't feel that you are pressured into staying with 1 man your entire life. There is nothing wrong with having sex with more than 1 man as long as it is in an appropriate relationship (and one at a time of course). Hope this helps Doc

You know something? - This sounds exactly like me! (Except for the church thing). Insecure: Yes. He's also confused about whether you actually like him or not. DN has pointed out the major issues already. Thing is, as I've said, this guy sounds a lot like me - Especially not liking the way he looks and low confidence. I can read this guy just from your quoted text above. He's scared, thinks you don't really like him, thinks you are only joking about liking him, and most of all he's scared that you don't like the way he looks. Trust me, I've been this guy in my past. He's confused now because he doesn't know if you like him or not. He probably thought you were slightly interested and now probably thinks that you were stringing him along. His confidence around you is probably at an all time low and he is probably very disappointed. If you really like him: Call him. I wouldn't be with my current (and 1st) GF now if she hadn't been persistent. I also thought I was going to look like an idiot. Now I've been living with her for 1.5 years. Call him. Doc

I have to agree with Bethany on this. Despite the fact she told you to let her know in the evening, she may of been silently hoping you would go with her. She might of felt let down/embarrassed and feels that you are not interested. There is of course, also the possibility she has met someone else at the party and now doesn't know how to handle the entire situation. Of course she could simple of lost her phone. Women are hard to understand sometimes - I've had all the right signs from some women in the past but when it comes to the crunch they wern't actually interested. Some just seem to like to be flirty. I'm not suggesting that this girl is, but it's always a possibility. Be careful not to let yourself get hurt. It's easy for us men to think we've met "The one" and then find out she doesn't have romantic intentions - It's very hard to swallow. Doc

Don't get involved. She's confused and she's using you to make herself feel better. Many (not all) women like to feel that they have a sort of 'charm' over men and then keep them on a bit of string like a yoyo. Please don't fall for this. You yourself state she is involved with a man so don't get involved. Doc

But where is the fun, romance and sexual pleasure in that? Don't forget the topic starter has stated that they want to do it for the 1st time. That indicates they are young. All young people want to experiment with sex at some point - It's rare for young people not to. There is also a growing social pressure for young people to have sex. We've all started somehow having sex. The topic starter has done well by at least coming here asking for help and advice. Doc

This is a difficult one. Here we have 2 scenarios: 1) She's telling you the truth 2) She's trying to end it. In either situation there is virtually nothing you can do except give it time. You cannot force a relationship and you certainly cannot force someone to participate in a relationship with you. In all honesty, I have a feeling that it could well be the end of the relationship. She probably wants to let you down lightly. I can't give you advice for getting through a breakup since it's never actually happened to me (Been with #1 for almost 2 years!!!). It doesn't matter how many jobs someone works, if they genuinely have feelings for you they will keep you on the scene. It would seem to me that she wants to let you down lightly. I suggest you don't keep your hopes up too high for a future relationship with her. Sorry, I know its probably not what you wanted to hear... Doc

Well it sounds like your both smart with the condom idea. To be honest, apart from the pill there isn't a better way of avoiding pregnancy. Condoms protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy NORMALLY BUT NOT 100% GUARANTEED SAFE. Nothing is 100% safe including the pill. Condoms are your best bet but I suppose being on the pill at the same time would do no harm. Well done for researching & asking! - Not everyone is that smart! Doc

I completely agree 100%. You are not 2nd best. If she dedicated 6 years of her life to you then she is a very odd person to suddenly want to change things. Are you sure she wasn't having an affair? Don't be 2nd best to this woman. She cannot break things off just so she can have male attention from elsewhere and then come back when she's finished. Thats not fair on you or your child. This woman obviously has some attention-seeking issues. She either has counselling with you or you don't take her back. The only way she will come back to you is after she's her her fun. Don't settle for this. Make her an offer for both of you to get relationship counselling and if she says no, move on. definitely say no to the camping thing. Doc