elsenyor

Well to get this back on track: Yesterday I went to the psychiatrist and she shared a story about one of her patients, she told me that this couple incidentally ran into each other after 8 years of not speaking to each other and reconnected. Turns out they both wanted to get back together but neither of them wanted to take the first step in re-establishing contact and they both tell her how stupid and how much they regret not taking the step. Go figure NC is a great tool to get yourself back but if you want the ex back it won't always work, sometimes you have to take that leap of faith regardless of them being the dumper. According to her, hearing that definitive no after time has passed won't set you back as far as day 1 or anything near it. The worst has passed and a huge part of "acceptance" has been done when you're talking 6 months + after the break up. The definitive "no" may set you back another month or so but it also gives you certainty and no more what-ifs, it lets you take action based on facts and not assumptions. She compared it to someone having cancer: lots of patients that are being diagnosed with it would rather know they have it than to be left not knowing, because yes all though it is bad news you can work off of it and know what direction to walk in. So if you're still hoping for reconciliation after an extended period of time you need to see if their position has changed during that time, if it hasn't you know your answer and what you need to do, crush your hope and move on.

my cousin 8 years ago went to london, met some dude at work, he disliked her when they met, by the end of the shift he liked her and gave her his number. she forgot about his # for 3 weeks because she went on vacation, when she came back she thought "why not give it a shot" she called him they started hanging out but he had decided he'd only be living in london 4 more months because he had been living there 8 years already. After the 4 months he left to Italy and she realized she had fallen for him. They kept talking for about a year then stopped talking for 6 years and during that time he had married and divorced. Eventually out of the blue he uploaded a picture of him and my cousin on fb, and my cousin extremely confused just commented saying "what a beautiful picture." which is how they started talking again. Now they've been seeing each other several months at a time during the course of these final 2 years, and it turned into a long distance relationship, now my cousin is moving to be with him in September.

Day 21 NC and 2 Months Post BU I still don't understand why she doesn't reach out to me, she said she wanted to still be friends at the time of BU (and even though i disagree with the thought of it) there hasn't even been an effort put forth to even try and make that happen. Furthermore I've done nothing from what I can see to receive NC treatment from her behalf. We've interacted maybe 5 times since with many days in between, they were even short conversations, I was not an a$$ nor rude, didn't even bring up the relationship. She said she'd like to meet up after I finished exams (even though she doesn't know when I finish) and her her internship (which as far as I know from while we were dating) she is done, she hasn't reached out. Each day that passes by I grow more and more accustomed to the idea of meeting another woman even though I still love her, and ultimately whether she reachs out or I do it probably doesn't matter. I still continue to work on myself and I'd like to see her reach out first, but if not I may contemplate breaking NC 3-4 weeks down the line from now, we'll see if I'm ready when the time comes.