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settinuplife

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  • Birthday 12/28/1978

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  1. I know I shouldn't meddle, but really the only time I have flirted with her is at the bar when I was tipsy. I do act like just a friend when I text her. She even mentioned one time when she could come over and see my place! Then she never brought it up again. Confused. Guess I'm just kind of excited cause I actually have some semi feelings for another besides my ex.
  2. There is this girl I like who I know had an attraction to me in the past and is still probably attracted to me. We've messed around a year ago but never dated or anything like that. She is now currently in a semi-serious relationship. We text every couple weeks or so and she has before invited me to hang with her at the bar, of course her boyfriend has always been there and she did text me one time that she loves it when I flirt with her. This is one of the first genuine attractions I've had since my ex. I was wondering what I could do to increase her thinking of me. I was wondering if I should keep texting her every couple weeks to say hey, or just disappear for awhile? If I disappear she may forget about me and be more interested in her boyfriend. Should I keep texting her so I can keep being at the forefront of her mind and so she'll start to maybe think of me more? This isn't an ex situation, and we've never dated. She is kind of like a new person who I want to create an interest for me.
  3. I think it would make you look very comfortable with yourself, like who cares what people think. Which is a good attitude to have. Some are attracted to that, someone who is not afraid to be unique.
  4. Do you think that I should have been more patient with her when she said she wanted to take things slow? I guess I am afraid she doesn't think of me anymore. She did put me through some bad times, but she is bi-polar so I guess I'm too understanding cause of that.
  5. I am missing my ex so much today. I have been in strict NC with her for 5 mos. today. I was doing fine yesterday, thinking of other girls I'd like to be with (even though they are taken). I have been such a rollercoaster for 5 mos. and it's killing me. 6 mos. ago she came back in my life and finally moved away and broke up from her abusive boyfriend. She said she wanted to start over and take things slow and I agreed. She was great for 2 weeks, paid lots of attention to me, and was like a dream girl. Her ex would still try to call and I think she ignored him half the time and she said she wanted to get her number changed so by that I really believed she wanted to move on. By the end of 2 weeks I was getting a bit impatient wondering if we were actually gonna be together, we weren't really having sex, and she really wasn't staying at my house but another friends. I talked to her about it and she said she did wanna be with me, and have a future she just needs time to get her life together and she wanted to get her own place for awhile. The plan was she was to move into my new house, but now she wanted her own place for awhile. She stayed at my place one night and got up at 6am and started texting and I knew who she was texting. I decided to check her myspace later that day and her ex-boyfriends and I found they sent I love you's to each other. Well that crushed me and when she came back over I confronted her about it and said she wasn't over her ex and she said she was over him and I said no your not, then she grabbed her stuff and left, that is the last time I saw her . A couple hours later I checked her myspace again and saw she had written a blog to her ex saying she indeed wasn't over him etc. I texted her that all I wanted to do was give her another chance and that one day she will be ******with that same way she ******with me, and that she lied to me, and she replied back with I did not lie to you and that I messed with her too! * * *? About a week later she sent me a text saying how did I want her to give the money she owes me back to me and I replied 2 days later and said please get a money order and mail it to me, thank you, then she said I will get it to you when you can grow up so I sent another nasty text back saying how she messed with my head, and lied to me and she said she never lied and thats the last text I got. It has been 5 mos. strict NC since then. This girl when she was dating her ex always ran to me when they had problems said she regreted breaking up with me, still loved me, was still in love with me, wanted us to be together again, but was still with her ex, always called and texted me, would get jealous if I was with other girls. She now jumped into another relationship after she left me and supposedly tried to get back with her ex but they now hate each other for some reason, so she got into another relationship a week later with someone new! and they are supposedly still together, but her ex says she talks sh** on him and has cheated on him, I'm guessing cause she's not really happy but just has to be with someone. I don't know if she's tried to call me, I found out she changed her #, but that is nothing new, she has changed her # 7 times in 3 years. I have gotten strange numbers, but no private numbers, so I dont know. It has been 5 mos. and it's killing me that we haven't talked and I wonder all the time if she's missing me and thinks about me. I was so good for her I could of given her anything. Do you think I should write her a line, an email or card or something. She has said her biggest fear is rejection so it makes me wonder if she wont call or write cause she'll think I'll reject her. When we were talking 6 mos. ago I remember saying this was her last chance for us to try to work things out when we were starting out again. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I don't do something I'll always wonder, what do you all think?
  6. Thank you Frisco. You are right in that she would start using me again. I'm sure I would drain myself once again with her. I think the problem with her is that I didn't get any closure with her and it's eating me up.
  7. Thank you. Does anyone also know of any websites that specialize in friends and not relationships?
  8. Thank you Kellbell and Friscodj. Astaro, yeah I am very scared cause I don't want her to do something to herself without me telling her one last time that I love her. It makes me panic but I do know she needs to help herself. Guess I feel like I am her savior and that she's doing these things because I left her and if I started talking to her again she would stop then I wouldn't have to worry. So torn sometimes on what to do.
  9. I'm really worried about my ex. I have been on NC for over 4 mos. She is bi-polar and experimenting with some drugs, and possibly running around on her boyfriend. She has just been doing some bad stuff from what I've heard through the grapevine. I'm just soo scared because she is soo unstable and is getting lots of enemies. I am not over her yet, but I am just thinking about sending her an email so she thinks someone still cares about her. I loved her more than I have loved anyone ever. I am feeling so bad for her because everyone is calling her an unstable nutcase when in fact she is bi-polar and she didn't choose to be that way. Some of the things she does is by choice, but I don't think we really understand bi-polar if we don't have it. I really am not wanting anything in return from her if I send her something, but I have this sense of no closure with her. I just cut her off one day when I found out she wasn't over her last ex. We dated 3 years ago and I just finally cut her off last Oct. cause she didn't know what she wanted and I felt like her doormat. Do you think I should send her something anonymous instead? Like a card or letter, or email? I just want to tell her to not give up on life and that there are those who really still care for you, etc. What do you all think?
  10. Thank you teardrops. I live in Kansas. Any more advice?
  11. Wow, I just found out my best friend just took a job with a cleaning company where you are gone for up to 3 mos. at a time out of state cleaning hotels. I am devistated because he is my main friend that I hang out with, club hoppin, movies, etc. I am almost 5 mos. into NC with my ex and so I have been wanting to hang out alot with my friend because I am still trying to get over my ex. I have other friends, but one is heavily into a relationship now with a kid on the way so we never hang out anymore . He just doesn't act interested in hanging out anymore although we chat occasionally. I also have two friends at work but they are both married as well and have jealous wife, and husband. Then I have aquaintances that I hang out with rarely, but maybe when they are in town or I actually try to plan something, but no one really makes an effort to plan things with me cause everyone's busy. Seems you have to catch them at the right moment to hang out. So I'm kind of sad as my best friend is leaving soon for this job and I like to have one main best friend to do stuff with. I just want someone to go to the movies with or to go bowling, go out to eat, stuff like that. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? I am really not ready to date yet and still need more time to get over my ex so I am just wanting a friend. Are there any websites I can go search that specializes in finding a friend to hang out with. Friends looking for friends, or something like that. Any opinions and advice would be deeply appreciated.
  12. This story seems to be about what happens when you are someone's backup or fallback guy, if you don't do NC!! Of course this post isn't about two ex's it is about two who have always had thing for each other but never told the other. So yeah if you like someone you should always tell them eventually or you will regret, with ex's though they always know especially if they broke up with you then you should still play the NC game or you WILL be turned into a doormat. What troubles me though is sometimes I want to write my ex and just spill everything because one day she'll die and I will be glad I told her how I felt. Of course she knew how I felt about her when we broke up. Maybe you'll just have to chance it and write her years later and express and just leave it at that.
  13. Hey all, I have a crush on one of my ex-girlfriends former friends. She has been dating this new guy for about 3 mos. though and they just moved in together. Well this girl and I kind of messed around in the past and kind of liked each other but didn't date cause of my ex-girlfriend and them being good friends so we kind of went our separate ways. We didn't talk for 6 mos. then I guess she saw me driving and honked and waved and I didn't see her. Hours later she texted me basically saying I was being rude cause I didn't acknowledge her and I politely stated I didn't see her, blah blah, so that started us talking again. She told me about her new boyfriend and how he had a hold on her heart and asked if I had been dating anyone and how she was going to set me up with a friend of her boyfriends (which never happened). Basically we just texted back and forth every now and then. I usually would text her when I was at the bar kind of tipsy making small talk then saying sweet dreams beautiful or something like that, and she would make comments like , glad your having fun sexy, careful otherwise you'll get your hot self snatched up. Then she sent me a text out of the blue one day telling how her boyfriend bought a house and they move in two weeks, and was wondering what I was doing Sat. night. cause her friend is having a party at a bar and she said she just wanted to hang out with me and have a few beers. I said that I usually turn into a lush at this bar and she said, "usually? always from what I've seen and I said back "you love it." She said "YEAH I DO!!! but don't tell my boyfriend!" Then she said "when do I get to come see your new place?" and I said "when you drive me home trashed from the bar." then she said "okay thats a plan." Last time she invited me to the bar I was kinda hittin on her while drunk so she knew that would probably happen again this time but her boyfriend didn't seem to mind or didn't notice. So she texted me that day and said "your still coming to the bar tonight right?" I said I was, then later that night she called me asking if I was still coming. I got there and we hugged, but I noticed she was kinda hangin on her boyfriend more often than last time so I felt kinda odd wondering what I was doing there and to be honest I didn't know if her boyfriend was gonna be there or not, but he was. And I'm also wondering what was with the comment she made that she wanted to see my place, but her and her boyfriend left together before I did. Guess I'm a bit confused on her intentions. She really wanted me to come to the bar, basically said she liked it when I flirted with her, then said when can I come see your place. Then she hung off her boyfriend the whole night, then they left.
  14. Well there is a part of him that is not over her, otherwise he wouldn't be asking for pictures. If he was truly over her he wouldn't care about her pics. I think just cause they don't really talk doesn't mean they still don't have feelings for each other still. This is a tough situation for you. You could just ask him if he'd like to take a break so he can deal with any unresolved feelings toward her, and if he says he doesn't want a break then he may be 60% into you and 40% still into her.
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