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snowgirl

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  1. Wow. You really are getting horrible advice here: Have an affair. Have a one night stand (and post the result? GROSS!) Leave him. Lose weight. I am really shocked. That's ALL rubbish! It's NOT YOUR FAULT. You need to have an open and frank discussion with your husband about what is happening and how you feel. If he is your husband, you need to be able to talk to him about EVERYTHING. You will not die if you are open with him. I promise. You might do better to go to counseling with him, do you think he would go? It's important. Your child will grow up thinking this is a normal marriage, and you deserve to have a fulfilling relationship. You do not and should not have to make excuses for your husband either. You CAN fix this if you both want to. If his porn habit is interfering with your sex life, and it sounds like it is, that's a huge issue that you need to talk about! Don't just try things to see if it will get better. If you have a suspicion about something, ask him. It might take practice, but you can do it! You married him for a reason.
  2. Grace, honey, yer ok.
  3. I am glad you feel a little better about getting this out, even though we're all strangers. that means you will definitely benefit from counseling. This is not uncommon, my brother in law molested his sister, a few years earlier, he was molested by his camp counselor. This happens for a reason. Getting counseling will help to lift this weight and will help you to understand. As to how to approach your brother, I think you should not until you get counseling. Your counselor will help you with that, when and if and how. Good luck to you.
  4. I was raped when I was 15 by a stranger. It was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am very fortunate that I got through it as well as I did. It was terrifying to say the least, for I knew I was being raped, but I also thought I was going to be murdered. The rape became secondary to my life being threatened. The more I talked about it to supportive people, the better I felt. This was 29 years ago, it's hard to believe, but of course, I still have lasting effects. They are caution and fear of being in remote places alone. that's something every woman feels, I'd think, and since it's self-preservation, that's a good thing. I have let go of the anger and rage. I remember when it was actually happening, I had the thought "I will not let this lunatic, this stranger, ruin my life if I get out of this alive, this is not my fault, so I will not suffer a lifetime of horror because of him". And I was able to get through it. It was hard, mostly because of the UNsupportive people along the way. Ones who told me that I must have asked for it, etc. I knew they were wrong, but it was still hurtful to hear people say things like that. I hope people are different now than they were in 1978. I'm a rape victim, and I'm ok. I have a healthy sex life and a happy life in general. I am a productive member of society and I have a good job/career and things are good. I won, I didn't let that ***hole ruin my life.
  5. Insecure, you sound a lot like my husband did a couple of years ago. He was convinced that he was a mistake and that nobody really cared, and if they did, they'd get over it. His mom always told him he was stupid and he never got any love. He is now a happy, emotionally stable guy. He is in therapy and now sees things from a different perspective. He looks back on those times and realizes that his mind was playing tricks on him, he really believed that he was useless and a loser and that nobody cared. I am glad your son saved your life. You will watch him grow and you will be able to love and cherish every ounce of him, and he will do the same for you. Just wanted you to know that. I certainly care about what happens to you. Have a great weekend.
  6. Wow, Grace, you are right, time really does fly! I am glad you are feeling like you have come a long way in a year.
  7. snowgirl

    Bit worried

    Nobody's patronizing you. You might want to develop a thicker skin. Sheesh! Telling people who are trying to help you to "STFU" is not the way to win friends. The only thing you can do is to wait until she takes the pregnancy test. You can have her do it or you can have her doctor do it.
  8. Congratulations, BTR! I am so happy for you and your beautiful baby! And what a great big boy he is! I am sorry that your ex is a drama queen, and that he is making this all about him. It puts a cloud over the joy of Benjamin's arrival. I hope he realizes that and leaves you alone.
  9. You can take a pregnancy test from about two days before to a couple of weeks after the missed period date. I would wait a couple of days and take one again. If its negative and she still hasn't gotten her period, she needs to go to the doctor. The way you guys are having sex, though, it's only a matter of time before she does get pregnant. I am surprised you have gotten away with it for this long. You do not have the means of supporting a baby, and taking it for granted that her parents will pay for everything is not the way to go. I want to shake you. Either you need to use condoms again, (which I don't think you will do) or she needs to get on the pill, and NOW. Why is she afraid? She should be a LOT more afraid of getting pregnant. Having a baby is not like getting a puppy. You obviously have no idea of how it changes your life, permanently.
  10. Yeah, that's what my answer is. We have sick days, but he gives us a hard time, and assesses how your voice sounds over the phone. I had the flu and was seriously thinking of going to the ER because I was SO sick, and he told me "I didn't sound so bad". He's a tool.
  11. Not always. Preejaculatory fluid being secreted can dislodge sperm that are hiding in nooks and crannies. It can and does happen.
  12. Those tests actually measure chorionic gonadotropin. The chorion produces it, and that is embryonic tissue, so it's only present in pregnant women. FSH is a normal hormone that's present in nonpregnant, cycling women, it stimulates a new follicle to develop.
  13. There is nothing wrong with you. If you want to marry him, I would strongly suggest getting counseling first. You have to work thorugh this resentment you have for him for running off. If you don't deal with it now, it will not go away, it will get worse.
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