LilMiss

one day at a time...i will get back to myself...one day at a time....i thought I was alone...then I looked behind and beside me and found all my friends and family...right there...thank you...for without you I wouldn't have realized how much support and love I have with me already...you leaving made me see how much I have to offer and how much you left desired...see ya...it's been real!

I saw you driving around with the girl I love and I"m like F-you and F-her too!!! *thanks I needed a wee bit of a smile today* =D

LOVE 1336: awesome...say NO to crap!! =D

I love you. I miss you. call me...but funny thing is...i really don't have much more to say...it's up to you...i have to let go of control and let it be...i'm scared. where are you?

I miss you first thing in the morning, last thing at nite. what keeps me going and not contacting you is that i love myself more than I love you. i need to because there is no room in your heart for me. I believe you still miss you ex and that is why you can't be "here" for me. I broke it off because I knew that we were both just filling in our time with each other and i can't do that anymore. I want you to be my partner in life, not just a friday nite distraction. I miss you so. I miss your smile, your smell, your hugs. but sometimes in life, the right thing to do is the hard thing. I will not let you use me for your selfish reasons, you keep truths from me to protect me and it just drove me away. Find your dreams, you can achieve great things in your life. I wish you the best and i will promise you this, each day I will send you all my LOVE and LIGHT...this is the best I can do for you and me...so here's all my LOVE and LIGHT and now I must...let it go....

i tend to create such high expections so that the ppl i date will disappoint me and i will be able to stand back and say "Ha, Ha! See i knew it wasn't going to work". Self Fulfilling Prophcy...i say it won't work and it doesn't and it just proves, once again,that I am right, actually it proves I'm full of "insert word here". *smiles* I'm 29 turning 30 feeling "crunch time", most of my long time friends have found their "love" or "match" and are on a future together, I can bearly figure out what i'm going to wear tomorrow... I've choosen some partners because I felt all those around me were settling down and this is something i need to do..why? cuz i'm getting older and haven't been in a relationship for longer than 8 mths, cuz i wanna start a family at one point but i wanna know the person for a long time 1st... I realized i have all these plans and i just want a person to fit just so into these plans...is this realistic? or is this a way for me to protect my heart? I've been able to rationalize things so well i really don't know...but i do know... that I've dated ppl cuz i didn't want to be alone, i figured this person likes me and I find them okay so why not...for me my problem is the 'why not'. There isn't an overwhleming feeling or a spark sometimes and that is when i've realized i'm doing something to compensate for something else..i'm lonely so i talk up an old friend of mine and we decide to date cuz HEY we got no one else in our lives...that is settling to me... there are times when I feel like "Take what you can get" and there are other times when i feel like "when have you ever settled for anything less than what you need and want in your life, except when it comes to partnering" It's in those moments I realized i was settling, got myself out of the relationship and realized the following quote... Quote of the Daylink removed - Sri Swami Sivananda and as they say..the rest will follow... ~Namaste~

japhy- thanks for your list, I think I may have to write them down and put it in my wallet when I go out tomorrow. 1) yes, I'll be nice but I won't false This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man....."-William Shakespeare 2) I am money and I'm gonna shake it like a pocket of change *heehee* I got a new dress for my b-day last month so I'm gonna rock it like a cheesey 80's hair band y0! 3) okay okay...i'll have to work on this not too much drinking thing *giggles* 4) well I don't want them to be uncomfortable but the girlie girl in me hopes that they might feel a wee bit weird...but yeah...I do want him to be happy even though it's not with me....just wish I didn't HAVE to meet the new girl/f...*sigh* 5) the no calling this is not a prob, he has never ever tired to contact me since we broke up 2 1/2 mths ago, neither have I, reason: he never called me when we were together anyhow, that was one of the main issues for us-he just didn't like to small talk with me...*yeah he didn't like talking to his girlfriend-RED FLAG* 6) This won't kill me-so I WILL be stronger, hear me roar, I am woman *meow, meow* heehee * 8) 7) *secretly in my heart I hope I do meet someone sometime somewhere* "Our greatest fear is not in knowing how weak we can be, but knowing how powerful we are" unknown

*shaking head in massive laughter* Thanks Iceman26, your comment actually made me laugh and today was a tuff one emotionally but your soooooo right. I will not mourn for the fact that his new girl will have to deal with his crud. I'm out and I'm free, it's just that when your free sometimes it feels like your alone. I'm not alone, cuz as I can see I got ppl out there who I don't even know who are willing to help me. Thank you...*hugz* Work like you don't need the money Dance like nobody's watching & Love like you've never been hurt (quote from somewhere)

Dateagain: thanks for your suggestion, I'll be at the party with quite a few of my friends so I'm gonna make them keep an eye on me. I just don't wanna be cornered by the happy twosome and have to deal with their "new found love" for one another....but yes I'm gonna get a friend to be by my side. good idea yo! Lifeiscash: just after I posted this topic I went to the gym and I feel much more clear headed and when you mentioned "kill'em with kindness" I realized I need to be a mature grown up woman who can deal with things even though my heart hurts, this won't break me and it will make me a stronger person. Just wanna says thanks to both of you for your words and comfort, I won't be alone cuz I'll have your words in my heart and head.... *hugz to ya'll* much love & hugz lil'miss "you must be the change that you wish to see in the world" gandhi

my ex is bringing his new girl to a party this week. I haven't seen him in almost 2 months, I've loved every minute of it and now I'm so full of crazy engery cuz I don't wanna see him but don't wanna avoid him either. I am going to this party but wanted some encouragement and words of wisdom. Just wanted to get some advice/stories on how ya'll have handled seeing your ex for the 1st time with their new love..... I'm hurt cuz of the way things ended with him and me but I don't want him back...so why am I being such a freak over this? I think it may be just my insecurity...I need to love me more....*sigh* "you must be the change that you wish to see in the world" gandhi

mini golfing is cool. You can play and chat, without having to yell, and there's glow in the dark mini golfing too, with music and blacklights. It's trippy and lots of fun. Or if your the driving range is really fun too. Yes, I said the driving range. When you finally that golf ball nice & clean....it's a great feeling and that person will be feeling good on your date, so bonus for you.....*heehee*

Here's the deal. I met this guy last month at a party. We chatted for a while and had a good time hanging out. He was sweet and nice, but I kinda had this weird nervous vibe from him. Then a few weeks later I see him again, but this time he askes me out. And I say, Yes. That following week (wed), we go on our 1st date and it was fantastic. Conversation was flowing, smiles all around, he mentions that he was really nervous to ask me out and was glad he finally did. We were both slightly awkward but it was cute. Well, the date ends and he calls me an hour later to make sure I got home okay and to ask me out for the following night. (things look good so far) I decide that it would be better if he met up with me early next week, (monday) cuz it's my b-day. He agrees, we hook up on my b-day for 2nd date and things get in a tizzy and I stay over at his place. (things going fast but I'm still cool with it) On the next day, before I leave his place we make a date for Friday, at the end of the week. I call him on Friday and he seems to have forgotten about our date. When I asked him what's up, he replies "not much, might go to a party tonite but nothing solid, what's up with you"...*mouth hanging open* so i mention going out to eat and he says sure. But cuz of the vibe I'm getting from him, I call my girlfriend to come out with me and when I meet up with new boy he brought a friend as well. (seems like he and I were both trying to make it look like a casual get together & we had seen eachother 4 times in 2 weeks which is alot, even for me) I guess he really didn't want to go out just with me? I'm confused....he set up a date with me but then when I call he's acting like nothing happened, and I didn't have the courage to ask him up front. "didn't we make a date for friday" cuz I'm weird like that sometimes. when I like someone I get a little more quiet than normal. oh I don't know...this dating thing is much more difficult than it seems....

They way I see it is as follows: you got needs...we all do and if you don't have someone special in your life....what do you do? do you go find someone to fulfill that need? but there may be risks involved: physical risks like std's, emotional risks, and spiritual risks. is it worth putting yourself out there each and every time you have an overwhleming urge? If you are not gettin the 'loving' you need, then give it to yourself, i say. And I also see it as, if you are comfortable with yourself in a sexual manner than there can be a higher probability that you'll be more comfortable with your sexual partner. And in that sense it is healthy to 'discover' your body. Masturbation shouldn't been seen as something to do cuz you don't 'have' anyone, but something you can do to fulfill your own needs without relying on someone else. But ending on a comic note.... Like Nike says "Just do it!" *smiles & giggles*

My ex and I broke up because he knew I "wasn't the one". He was fully aware of how much I felt for him and how much I wanted to be with him. But as the months wore on he started to feel less into our relationship and slowly his affection died off. Week by week I went to see him and he was more and more distant. He would still kiss and hug me but the feeling behind it was cool. I was the one who brought up the fact that we should stop seeing one another. I didn't want to break up but I knew in my heart, to stay would only hurt me. What I find completely hurtful is that, this guy knew how much I was into him and he didn't have the compassion to let me know he didn't feel the same. He just fed me what my heart wanted to hear. Why would someone who cares for another, let that person walk down a path of pain if they could have lessen the blow. Doesn't he care for me on a very basic level that you don't want people to get hurt? So when I asked him, if you knew this was dying off when were you going to say "maybe we should part", he told me "I wasn't gonna say anything because I was going on what you wanted to do. If you want to continue our relationship like this we will, if not, isn't it better to have loved and lost....right?" My heart broke in pieces when he said this to me. Why would people put others in such positions of pain.....*shake head* But like rainz said, each week it's a bit better the sting is not that bad. day by day....

What up Sez! I think you'd know in your heart if your 'using him'. But on the same note if he's like totally in love with you and you feel only a small portion of what he feels you may want to clear the air on where you stand emotionally with him. But if he's just vibing you and your feeling okay, with no undue pressure from him, date girl! Dating is like getting to know someone but doing something fun at the same time, like dinner, going out dancing, shoot'n some pool, etc.... And everyone should have some fun! I tend to date boyz that give me that weak in the knees feeling. And they don't end up long term relationship. it may be due to the fact that I love the "weak in the knee feeling" more than the understanding that, for a realtionship to truly work, i need to go beyond the weak knee syndrome. Not that it needs to disappear but I have to base my intentions on something more than a passionate emotional feeling triggered by someone who gives a really good impression. (this is how I feel about the boys that make me weak in the knees, they captivate me I see them and think, wow I gotta hook myself up with that. Almost like being in awe) So I'm trying now to keep my options open to those 'nice guys'. The one's where I don't totally get sweaty palms when I see them but when we link up I smile really big and feel really good about me b/c they put me at ease. They don't try to wow me with their worldy stories or keep up a "cool factor" they are just themselves and in turn I can just be me.