eddie500

Just wondering if anyone had a similar problem... I had a sore throat for the last few days.. the sore throat went now I have what feels like water in the lungs.. Or like when you swallow juice wrong or sometimes food and you feel the need to keep coughing... SO it feels like I swalled liquid incorrectly and I"m trying to cough it out. Its been like this for 6 hours... and I haven't swalled any liquid incorrectly. ITs strange as I've never had this problem before... But can this be something serious? (I'm to lazy to search the internet for this specific problem, so just hoping that this is common thing) I hardly ever get sick and am in perfect health, young only 26.. I don't have health insurance so I'm not going to the doctors in less i'm ready to die..

Just wanted to say that it makes a huge difference when you meet the right girl. I meet a lot of girls, but only very few really do it for me. It has to do with a a few things for me to really have that connection with the girl, first being looks of course, she must then have a certain affectionate personality that I can't really explain. WHen the girl has this certain combination I really fall for these girls fast. I think a lot of guys who don't get out there and try to meet and be with a lot of girls can potentially wind up marrying or staying with the wrong girl. But then again they wouldn't really know what they were missing out on. Anyway I just wanted to tribute this post to hooking up with a girl yesterday who really just did it for me. I only spent a couple intimate hours with this girl but she really brought out those loving feelings.

Another option at this point is to use her to meet other girls.. LIke go out together to public places like bars and clubs.. Make sure that you hit on other girls in the bar and clubs in front of her and talk about the other girls. If you do this properly she will look at you differently and then maybe you will have a chance, and worst case scenerio you can use her to meet another cool girl.. But if your not going to use her in this nature I'd say just forget about her. Also try to learn where you went wrong with her so you don't blow it with the next girl.. because you said she showed interest in the beginning.

Actually just a couple weeks ago I did just this, I told him that I don't want to be friends any more. I did this because he said we had a "non-sexual relationship (like a relationship that I would have with a girlfriend but without sex)" and i didn't like the way that sounded, I don't have relationships with "gay people". This really did kill him, it was probably like he felt It was breaking up. The thing is all I really do is i'll just spend some time with him and talk really. I don't but him anything, don't do anything really for him, I'm not really even nice to him.. I just have honestly too much time on my hands and not enough other friends, so I'll see him a little more to BullSH*T. I'm just thinking that lately he is getting too Emotional about certain things. I just told him yesterday that i don't want any pictures of myself anymore, I told him I never liked them and its "gay as hell". Just think about some guy always taking close up pictures of your face.. He was almost ready to cry about this.. but I'm not being a mean jerk here, I think I have the right to not be on a "gay photo shoot" all the time. But the point is I feel like the bad guy, because he makes it seem that I should do him this favor! ANd I do feel a little bad about it myself.

Just thought I'd have some other people's insight on this OK, I have this gay guy who is totally in love and obsessed with me. I'm straight and he knows it. THe thing is I just want to have a normal guy to guy friendship. The problem I'm facing is he likes to tell me how much he is in love with me, he is constantly taking pictures of me, and just a lot of gay stuff like that. I honestly don't like the this gay stuff that much as I'm straight. I like this person because I can mostly have good conversation with him and discuss certain topics with him, tO sum it up, I'd like to have NORMAL friendship. I've told him numerous times that I don't like the "GAY stuff", and to stop.. He tries but its just a matter of time before he starts it up again. He also tries to tell me its not Gayness etc. that Its just good friendship. Meanwhile he has pictures of me in his wallet, and wants some of my used clothing. I could go on and on about the gay obsession he has with me. SO whats going on here? Is a normal friendship even possible with him? Why is this guy so obsessed with me considering that he knows I'm not gay? How is best to handle this situation? I just recently told him that I don't want him to constantly take pictures of me and he takes it really personal. Any insight or advice is greatly appreceated! And how normal is it for gay people to be obsessed like this with straight guys?

ShySoul, Very good points, and your totally right. Thinking about it she did a lot of damage to me with my trust in girls. I guess Its been a while now and I've accepted these experiences as truths. Now I don't think of these bad experiences, but they are like accepted into my conscious.. just like any other hard facts. I did tell her after that post you quoted and we broke up, "you really hurt my trust in girls".. I guess its evident in how i wrote this.. I guess the only way to really have a different outlook at this point is to have different experiences with girls, ones that build trust.. not kill it. But again, very good insight.

LIke i figured, if your life is bad in other areas it really makes the breakup so much harder. IF you had more "true" or close friends, you were going out meeting girls etc. It wouldn't nearly be so bad, it would be bad but nearly so. I would recomend somehow trying to work on making the other areas of your life better.

In a couple days it will be almost 2 months since I had No/contact with my ex.. and a month or so before that when we were broken up. I´m mostly over her now. I wonder why after 2 months you sound like you just broke up with her? I guess you didn´t accept that it is over yet.. I have accpeted that fact 2 months ago when I went into NC. But I agree with need1ozhope, you gotta act like she is gone for good, because thats the reality. If she really loved you then she would be with you. I don´t know your situation but if the rest of your life is a mess then you should work on that area.. Find a better job, move to a better place etc. personally my life was really a mess a few months ago and I decided to move abroad for a while, was the best decision I could of made.. Don´t think I would be so happy now if I continued living in my old place. But anyway how is the rest of your life?

I did refer soley to men, but from my own personal experiences the girls move on shortly after to another partner.. My ex-girlfriend after only a few months had no problem switching over to another guy, or like she would put it "jumped from one hot bed to the other". Meanwhile I was still in the infatuation period. SO I put the emphasis on men, but I think women move onto new partners just as easily or easier then men.

I wanted to touch up on this topic of what I think löve really is for some time now. OK, I hear a lot of people recently telling me that I don´t know what love is. They tell me that it takes time to really fall in love and all this different stuff which basically makes no sense. They always bring up the infacuation, saying that your not in love your just infacuated... They make it seem like infacuation is not a good thing! They make it seem you need years and years to be with someone to experience true love. This seems like a load of BULL Sh*t to me, especially consdiering the fact that a lot of these people don´t seem so happy. Someone has recently made reference to the following article, which touches up on the topic somewhat. OK, so my thoughts on what love really is. First there is no difference between infacuation and love. Or bascially there is only one type of love´, which is LOVE and with love comes different degrees of LOVE. Bascially infactuation is the best love your going to have (the highest degree of love), this would be the optimal love to have and keep it forever if it was possible. Read that article above where she talks about infacuation, this is where your body is producing all the chemicals that make you feel on top of the world. The feelings in this stage are just amazing! I could go on and on about this stage, but I´ll leave it at the feelings are just amazing. OK, so a lot of people think that after the infactuation period is where you experience real love. This is totally not true, bascially infactuation period is the highest love you will have. Unfortanetly your body will not keep that high degree of love forever, for whatever evolutionary reasons, and then you simply fall out of the high love into lower degrees of love. What would be optimal in life? Now I´m speaking from a mans point of view here, but I would say that optimally if a man wanted to live in the highest degree of love, he should change partners everytime he falls out of the infacuation period, or the highest degree of love stage. Honestly what better feelings are there then the infacuation period. This would be optimal but not pratical in most situations. Mostly not pratical becuase its hard to keep finding girls that you can fall in love with, better yet finding a new girl for most guys, not to even mention the economic reasons. If you also look at history, it was very normal for the kings and rulers to have multiple girls.. they had the power to do what they wanted and they choose multiple girls. If you have read that article you will see that once the love is gone, its very hard to stay together. This is because our bodies were not designed to stay together like this for long periods of time. Some species if I´m not mistaken were designed to stay together forever. I have heard recently that love birds (I think) always have one parter for life and if the partner dies... I forget exactly but my point is that this is a species that has evovled to have one parter for life, but not us humans. When also reading the article you will see that she offers nothing solid on getting the love back, she only mentions stuff to bascially fake love not bring true love back. This is controversal stuff here, which I just love writing about. But I had to make sense of what love really is and how it works. I also have heard a lot of things that just didn´t make any sense, especially about people being negative about the infacuation period. But it makes sense why these people were negative about it because a lot of them were married for many years and are just trying to deny the truth. They are envious of the infacuation period because they have not experienced it for years, and deep down they know what they are missing. But the truth is all around us, just look at the divorce rate and how many times we humans change partners. Anyway ALL comments are welcomed, postive and negative!

Yeah, I agree with you here. I would just ask her straight up when you see her, and get a clear answer. IF you do get a negative answer then you have to realize its over. It sucks to get dumped, but it sucks more to not know 100% if its over. So you have to do what you need to do to know its 100% over. I have with my last girlfriend and knowing it was 100% over it was a lot easier to move on.

Yeah could be, I can say that 2 girlfriends ago I ran into a girl by luck after making the same stupid mistake. And when I ran into her that next time I made things happen, and actually went over her place. But now thinking about it, running into the girls by chance does make the experience so much better. There is something very romantic about it, even I get more nervous when running into the girls by chance then seeing them where I expect to.. So yeah it could play into my favor if I do run into her again accidently, but again leaving this stuff to chance is not worth it!

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OK, I thought I´d put my 2 cents into "dating again after a breakup". I´ve just been through 2 breakups with girls that I really liked (I got dumped), so UNfortunately I have some experience in this area. With both of the breakups it seems that I go through the same "getting over the girl" process. I notice that when trying to find new girls right after a breakup, I notice immideatly that I just don´t have any luck. It´s not so obvious why, becuase I don´t think I´m doing things so much different then I used to, but I notice that I don´t have nearly the results that I used to have. But I do feel the "loss of confidence". It takes me personally about 2 months of NC, to start really getting over a girl. So its been about 2 months now since the last girl dumped me, so I´m pretty much over her, and let me tell you it feels so good to not have the attachment anymore to her. Love is nice, but it does come at a price. The price is it bascially takes your freedom away (in a sense, freedom of mind and thought), but when you get over the breakup and you feel the freedom again, its such a wonderful thing. SO, I realzed recently (now that I´m mostly over my ex) that when I´m out meeting people especially girls I´m having a lot of sucess. I bascially have my game back. When interacting with girls, I´m so much better with the flirting. I´m much quicker with the jokes, and the jokes just come so much easier.(jokes meaning teasing the girl which is important to build attraction) I laugh so much more..., fool around so much more, and I just bascially feel so much more engaged in the conversations. Another thing I notice is that I don´t care so much about the outcome of what happens in the conversation, or if I am able to pick up the girl or not. Bascially "inner game" or how your feeling inside, is very important. When you are dumped and feeling rejected, you will display this to people. Even if you think you can hide it or work around it, it will still be displayed. My advice is to not expect much success with dating until you are at least mostly over your ex. I know everyone wants to meet someone quick to help them get over the ex and not feel so lonely but you could be setting yourself up for more problems. Beacause when your "inner game" is not good, you will get rejected more which will actually make your inner game worse.. and make you feel more rejected and more wanting your ex back. So I´d say that you should hold off on dating for at least 2 months of NC, or until your attachment with your ex is mostly over. NOw I don´t say wait until you are 100% over your ex, becuase I think you can really only get about 80% over your ex until you meet someone new, and when you meet someone new that 80% will push into the 100% area. I´d like to just add that I can finally say now that I´m pretty much over my ex, the attachment is gone. It also feels so good to be free again. I now have a few good prospects with decent girls, but I don´t care if any of these prospects work out.. because I now have something more important then any girl, I have my confidence and game back, the confidence in knowing that I can get a girl when I want to. This is actually much more valuable then having a girl.

I just did the most stupid thing, so I have to just tell everyone. Just before I ran into a girl that I have just spoken to the other day. I didn´t really get a chance to talk with her much the other day, but when I ran into her we talked for a while. She was attrative and everything and I just felt the chemistry.. which doesn´t happen every day. I so wanted this girl, and I could tell that my chances were good. SO what did I do? I ended the conversation and thought to myself, OK, there is an OK chance I´ll see her again where I saw her the other day. Bascially I totally wussed (chickend out). And thinking about it, it is very unlikely that I´ll be able to see her again, and I know from experience that when you leave this stuff to chance you almost always LOSE! I totally screwed up here, and i had this situation happen a year ago and I swore to myself never to let this happen again, and I did. Moral of the story? Don´t leave picking up girls to chance, you usually only get one shot at it and hesitating will make you lose! I will never make this mistake again!