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Unmotivated

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  • Birthday 03/27/1983

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  1. Hey Wondercookie and FoxLocke, just wanted to thank you guys for sharing your advice/experiences. Your posts were very inspirational.
  2. I think that you have a right to be angry at him. Seat belt or no seat belt, his reckless driving put both of your lives in danger. By getting behind the wheel, he took upon himselve the responsibility of your well-being... and he blundered. Everybody messes up sometimes. Most everybody takes a gamble once in a while, when they know they shouldn't. He did wrong and as a result, you we're injured. Do you think that your boyfriend is earnestly sorry for what he did? How did he react when you told him how you felt towards him? It sounds like right now this whole event has been tearing your relationship apart. Maybe the two of you can turn that around. If your boyfriend really cares about you and is sincerely sorry for what he did, he should be there for you as you recover. If you two can remain close and get through the ordeal together, I think you'll come out on the other side with a stronger relationship than before. You boyfriend has probably said sorry a million times, but I think that you can judge more by his actions and base your feelings towards him on that. He can't change what he did, but he can decide what to do today. If you can't forgive the man that caused the horrible accident, then try to forgive the man that is by your side as you recover.
  3. Did something happen that resulted in her parents making this decision? Maybe they don't feel comfortable with the idea of you and their daughter being together at night. You could try to let them get to know you better and perhaps build up some trust. Alternatively, as soon as your girlfriend turns 18, she can legally do whatever she wants, but I think it would be better to gain her parent's approval of the situation than to pull out the big guns and go around them entirely. Some people refuse to change, but I think most people will be reasonable if you can figure out how to relate to them. Good luck.
  4. I can definitely relate here. I like how I look in the mirror, but I can almost never take a picture of myself that I like. It's mind-boggling.
  5. From your posts I get the impression that you are intelligent and have a very active mind. I have the same problem, though I don't claim to be particularly intelligent. Anyway, I think you're getting ahead of yourself. You said that you've never really had any conversations with your teacher. I think she might be a bit surprised if you showed up at her house and tried to tell her about your feelings. I think that it's a good idea to get her email and, through that avenue, explain how much your respect her and the experiences she has had and ask her if she would be willing to give you some advice. If you get a positive response, maybe you could ask to meet her in person somewhere to discuss stuff. Remember this though: Always take your current thoughts with a grain of salt. I have bipolar disorder and I am often times not thinking straight. I have learned to be careful of the decisions I make when I am depressed or manic. This woman isn't perfect. Sure, she has a great deal of worldly experience, but don't make the mistake of believing that she will be able to solve all of your problems, because that may lead to great disappointment. Good luck, sir. I hope this helped.
  6. Thanks for the replies and advice. After the session we scheduled another appointment for next week. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't a good idea...
  7. I went to talk to a thearapist today regarding the problems I've been having in life with work and depression. She was a nice young woman, probably a 3-4 older than me. The session lasted an hour, and during that time she happen to ask me if I was dating anyone, and I explained that I had never dated. Anyway, it was nice to talk to someone about my problems, but when I got home, I realized that I felt attracted to the therapist, not really because she had asked me about dating, but I guess just because of the connection resulting from me telling her all of my problems and having her listen to me. Of course she isn't attracted to me. Of course there's nothing really there and nothing is going to happen, but I can't seem to control such feelings. It frustrates me because this happens a lot and it is essentially pointless or even harmful. Why is it that when any female that gets remotely (and innocently) close to me, I automatically seem to gain this emotional attachment to them?
  8. Maybe you could try to get in touch with managment and discuss the issue with them, although it may lead to further awkwardness if your boss gets approached by someone about it.
  9. I find small breasts to be very attractive. Very large breasts are a turn-off for me, and implants are a very, very big turn-off. I mean, maybe I'm just weird, but I'm far more attracted to girls that have almost no breasts at all than girls that have breasts that seem even slightly too large for their body. Of course, not everyone is like me, but I think that any guy that isn't happy with your natural body is not worth your time.
  10. I agree with aggierocker. You just need to practice your social skills. Start with something easy, talk strangers that you see pass when your walking around town. Just a simple "Hi." or "Hey, how's it going?". After you get comfortable with this, practice some short conversations with people. For instance, if you're in some sort of public building, you could walk up to somebody and ask them if they know where to find this or that, or you could just comment on something that's happening, like the weather or how ridiculous it is that you and this person have to wait in a really long line for something. The good thing about practicing like this is that you probably won't see these people again (unless you live in a really small town) and even if you do, they probably won't remember you or they will remember you and how friendly you were. As for talking to people you meet somewhere that you'll probably see again, i.e. a party or at class or work, just be confident. The easiest way to do this is just to be yourself. If anybody has a problem with who you are, it's their problem, not yours. Don't worry about people judging you by the way you look or what you say. The problem is that people will judge you by how confident you are around them. If you just sit around in the corner, they won't really think much of you and they might even make some unfair assumptions about you. If you go around a party and introduce yourself to everyone, shake hands, and smile, I doubt anybody's going to care about whether or not you have a job. Good luck! And if nothing else, look forward to college. It's a great place to pratice your social skills!
  11. I have OCD. When I was in High School it was pretty bad. My biggest thing was obsession with germs and contamination, and thus a great deal of hand-washing. Since I've been to college it has diminished a great deal. Today I don't consider it to be too much of a problem. I don't know if this will work for you, but it's something to try at least: Next time you get the urge to do something, to put something in order or whatever, try to resist it. Tell yourself that there's no reason and it will be okay if you just leave it. If you can keep yourself from acting on the urge, then congratulate yourself. Be happy that you have control. This worked for me fairly well. Whenever I would feel the obsessions, I would put my foot down and say no. Little by little, the urges died down. It made me more confident to see results and realize that I had control over the matter. I hope this helps!
  12. I think my best advice for you if you are going to have to live with your parents for a while is this: Try to respect your parents. Try to understand where they're coming from on an issue even if it doesn't make any sense to you or seems downright wrong. My situation is a bit ironic, actually. I moved out five years ago and I changed a great deal and became immersed in the "culture" of my friends. The funny thing is, I've now started to bounce back on certain issues, going back to what my parents believe or how they live their lives, and I have realized that much of what I hated about them or disagreed with them on when I was growing up now makes much more sense to me. For instance, for the longest time (probably since my early teens), I have been a major computer geek. I would just get completely obsessed with computer games and that's all that I would do. My dad was always against me sitting around and playing games all day, but back then I just attributed it to the fact that he was much older than me and couldn't understand the computer culture. Now I realize that that lifestyle has heavy consequences and that it's much more important to me to maintain a healthy body and go out and meet people and enjoy the real world. My dad was right, all along. Also, I would encourage you to demand a little bit of respect from your parents. Let them know that you understand their point of view and then tell them why you hold your point of view. Of course it probably won't change their opinion on the matter, but I think it would really improve your relationship if you and your parents felt comfortable talking about why you guys don't agree on certain things. Good luck.
  13. I had a similiar relationship with my parents, although not so extreme. When I was growing up, my parents taught me not to swear. I remember my dad getting kind of upset when I said, "Crap." one time. This was in High School. Since I've moved to college, I've developed a vocabulary amoung my roommates that would surely make my parents' jaws drop if they ever overheard us. A couple years back, my parents came to visit our apartment and I slipped. I was commenting on the messy state of our kitchen and I said something along the lines of, "Yeah, there's **** [starts with an 's', synonym for poop] everywhere." She seemed a little taken aback, but was upset or anything. Since then, I think I might of slipped a couple times. They seem to have accepted it, along with all the other ways I've chosen to live my life that contradict how they taught me. So I guess my advice is to begin to show them the "real you", little by little, and hope that they are willing to accept who you really are. As for your feeling that everything feels wrong and foreign, I think that will all change if you move out (I gather that you're living with your parents). Whether you go to college or just go somewhere else to live on your own, you'll immerse in other people and they will, in a sense, "raise" you again. After a few years this life will begin to feel normal and you'll begin to fit into it comfortably. Hopefully at this point your parents will be able to understand that you are different than them in many ways and will be willing to accept that.
  14. It sounds like the stress caused by his parents splitting up has caused him to distance himself from you and have some unusual behavior. I think you need to give him the space he needs while he finds a way through his situation. If you can get him to talk to you, let him know that you don't want to break up and that you understand if he needs to go out with his friends or have time by himself. Tell him that you love him and that you're still here for him. If he feels the need to remain distant, at least you will be on good terms with him. After he gets through his problems, hopefully he will realize what you mean to him and appreciate the support you offered him through the ordeal.
  15. So true. Good luck man!
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