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thefireisoutanyway

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  1. Out of curiosity, how long does it take for people to reach orgasm via self-pleasuring? I never seem to be able to "hold on" for longer than 5 minutes. (If I'm jacking off to internet porn, I'm almost always done WAY before the movie ends.) Do people usually come more easily when masturbating than having sex with someone?
  2. Alas, alack. She has completely vanished and I cannot locate her. Thanks for all your advices though, I'll keep that in mind next time...
  3. I'm currently at a conference, and here I've met a woman whom I found attractive. In the past few days, we've chatted here and there, nothing too substantial. I can't really tell whether she's interested in me, but she seems to enjoy our chats and often looks over her shoulder at me when she knows I'm nearby but not talking to her. Anyway, after a talk, I asked her whether she'd be interested in going somewhere to get something to drink later. At first, she said something about having to work, and then she answered me with, "Sure, why not?" She looked a bit awkward when I asked her out. So here are my questions: 1) When you ask someone (of the opposite sex) if they'd want to go out to get something to drink, is it understood that it is a date? 2) We didn't make any concrete plans. Should I approach her later during the day to make things concrete, or just go with the flow? And finally, 3) Does it sound like I'm wasting my time? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
  4. I feel so stupid. I just got back from one of my friend's birthday party. At the party, I noticed this really attractive girl. I really REALLY wanted to introduce myself to her, but being the shy guy I am, I couldn't. The most words we exchanged were, "Excuse me" and "Sorry." (Even with the booze in me, I couldn't summon the balls to talk to her.) Anyway, she must've left b/c I couldn't find her anymore. So I asked my friend about the girl. He told me that she is good friends with one of the hosts of the party. When I spoke to the host guy, he immediately took me to his computer and loaded up her myspace account. I got her name, her field of study, and I also learned that she broke up with this guy "long time ago." The host even gave me the girl's e-mail address. At this point, I am at a loss to what to do. I know the girl's name. I think she's really cute. I have her e-mail address. Only thing I said to her is "sorry" when she wanted to get past me. She might've caught me eyeing her a few times, but then there were a whole bunch of people at the party. What should I do? Should I e-mail her? If I do, what would I say to her?
  5. Hello, Some time in February, I hurt my left shoulder. The doctor said it was tendonitis, and that I should not do any upperbody workout. Sure, easy for him to say. I'm just aching to hit the gym and do some bench, or even some push ups. I'm also a bit worried about this "not doing upperbody" exercises thing. I mean, doesn't the muscles atrophy the less I use them, making them weaker and more suseptable to greater injury? So shouldn't I do some exercise? Any input would be appreciated!
  6. ...well, actually, I've never gotten a request for a date, ever, so... And no, Spring doesn't make me feel any different, other than possibly annoyed.
  7. It depends on the situation. But if you are just asking about which is visually pleasing, I'd prefer the former.
  8. If it makes you feel any better, I went out with a girl for a month, broke up, and am still not over her. We went out in October of 2004.
  9. Hello, Man, I'm on a roll today. (This is my 2nd post of the day, completely unrelated to my first topic.) The situation is kind of not complicated, so I shall explain a bit... I am currently a graduate student. When I was an undergraduate, I spent a lot of time with my roomate and the people that lived in the dorm. At first, it was just me and my roomie. But the group expanded, and now it even has a name, which will not be mentioned... So I spent a lot of time in the group. I'm considered as one of the founding fathers, or something to that degree, even though it was really my roomate who founded everything. I moved out of the dorms, but I still kept in touch with the group, attending a lot of their "festivities" and such. Things got a bit more complicated when I started going out with one of the members of the group. Long story short, we broke up, and shortly after, I almost completely stopped hanging out with these guys. Now, there are few factors here that made me stopped hanging out with these guys: 1) I'm a graduate student. I have an advisor, who owns my soul, and must work my * * * off for my degree. 2) I still have feelings for my ex, and I think it'd be best if she and I are kept separate as much as possible. Now, there is a 3rd factor, which I now know for a fact that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with my ex. And that is: 3) I have grown tired of this group and the things they do. I no longer have any interest to participate in their activities. More than half of the people that come to these group gatherings, I find them annoying, obnoxious, one-dimensional, and awkard to talk to. I can't talk to any of them because all they talk about is _____ and _____ and _____, and frankly, I don't give a damn about it. I spoke to my ex recently, and she told me that she hasn't been really doing stuff with the group either, mostly because of her work. So here's the question that's been bugging me: 1. Should I or should I not talk to my old roomate, who I consider as the closest friend among all the people in the group about this? That is, how I've outgrown the group and no longer part of it? And my ex isn't really the reason I stopped coming to the group? 2. Should I also explain this to my ex? (Part of the motivation for bringing this up has to do with the fact I fear that some people have been pointing their fingers at my ex for me no longer actively participating with the group. (I've missed two major group "events.") I've also did/said a lot of hurtful things to her when we broke up, and I don't want her to feel guilty or think that I hate her or anything like that.) 3. How do I deal with these people now that I find them so irritable, including my supposedly "close friends"? Do I keep snubbing them until they grow sick of me, or...? Any advice would be greatly appreciated =)
  10. That's pretty hiliarious. Your Don Juan reminds of me this other guy from this other gym, except he wasn't hitting on women, but he was going around feeding everyone his conservative-racist-bigotry crap, along with his complaints about the university. (Oh man, I just realized that his "target" were younger male students...) Your post reminded me of something I didn't think about -- listening to music. This girl, I noticed that she had an ipod on her. I didn't see if she had something in her ears... How is this relevant to anything? I have no clue. For some reason, I feel more afraid to talk to her, now that I realized that she is listening to music while she works out... Okay, so small talk is good. I'll keep that in mind. And nothing too cheesy or creepy. Thanks =)
  11. To Consumed: Wow, good to know that there are people out there in similiar situation as me. Yeah, I know I got nothing to lose, but stilll. I'm one of those shy-guys who can never seem to strike a conversation. Hopefully, I didn't blow my chance away. =) I wish you luck. To fairie16: It's true that I noticed her in the first place due to her resemblence to my ex. But I don't think I'm attracted to her b/c she looks like her. Rather, I feel like I'm attracted to women who look like that, and my ex just happened to look like the type women I am attracted to. It's true, she's just a girl, and what have I got to lose by talking to her? I'm afraid after today I might suffer the same fate as Consumed up there =( I really feel like I blew away the perfect opportunity... Anyway, thanks very much for your responses.
  12. Hello all, The title basically says it all. Last week, I was at the gym, and I noticed this cute girl working out. At first I thought she was my ex, but I soon realized that complete stranger. And that was that. I saw her again today. And today, it was kind of strange. I had absolutely no intention of following her around the gym. But it was kind of like everywhere I went, she was already there doing something. We even got out of the locker room at the same time, and we returned our lockroom keys at the same time. When we were leaving, she walked ahead of me. Once outside, we just went our separate ways. The only interaction the two of us had were some eye contacts during the workout, and her opening the door and holding it for me and me thanking her. I am definitely attracted to this girl. The whole time at the gym, I was debating whether I should say something her. Then, I decided it'd be better not to interrupt her workout and speak to her once she finished up or something. Then, when I got the opportunity, I just didn't have the cajones to go for it. I'm kind of worried now that she thinks I'm some sort of a creepy stalker. Anyone have any advice for me? Is it just plain rude to strike a conversation to a total stranger when they are in the middle of a workout? Is it even worse to hit on them?
  13. Hello, Yesterday, i was doing some work out, and I guess I over worked myself a little bit. At the end of the work out, I started doing some dips. On my first rep, I felt as though something brushed against my left arm. Then as I came down, I felt a shot of electric shock going up (or down) accross my upper arm. Then, it felt a bit numb (but no pain). When I got out of the weight room, my left shoulder started to hurt a bit. I was thinking it was just a sprain, but my left arm still feels a bit numb. Could this be more than just a sprain?
  14. Okay, so reading through your posts, I see that before there is any real "relationship" as opposed to just "dating," there needs to be some form of mutual agreement. Huh, I am starting to wonder whether I can really call my ex, "my ex." Thanks for your responses. Happy New Year!
  15. Thanks for your advices. I guess if I had truly moved on, I probably would not even have posted this comment. I've decided to respond to the e-mail, courteously. As I would to a friend, or even a coworker, or just an acquantance, and not worry about how or what to say or why she is doing this etc. No matter what, she is still my friend. I can't just ignore her. But I refuse to play mind games either. I won't even think about her wanting to "keep me in reserve" or anything like that, b/c, as sad as it might sound, reading those words gave me hope! (I know, it's pathetic. It's like I'm begging for crumbs.) The e-mails will die out eventually. And that'll be it. Thanks to everyone who's replied here. I know I'm not exactly following your advices, but it has helped me to see where I stand. (Still under her.) I wish you all Happy New Year!
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