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mylolita

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mylolita last won the day on March 26

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  1. I mean! Just to add. If a guy wants a woman who doesn’t need him, does it all, makes a million dollars a year, is like, super woman whilst still maintaining a 22 inch waist and changing the oil and building a car engine whilst cooking a gourmet dinner then… that’s not me. And he’ll have to move onto another highly educated career woman who has maybe her three degrees hung up on the wall. I’m an ex exotic dancer who likes to read, write, arrange flowers, be taken care of, in return, take care of someone else, spend money, have fun, light candles during the day and make my own weird and off beat routines as I go along. Obviously one guy found that appealing and we work. I caveat by saying I am not that career girl and never will be. If I want to make my own money, I’ll do it in a very different way than the standard ABC institutionalised become an employer way. Me and my husband both share the same sentiment that we simply cannot stand to be employed. It’s a mutual opinion and personality trait. We either make our money by becoming self employed and running our own stuff, or we find an alternative way. I believe in cultural traditions and their “unspoken rules of etiquette” for the most part. For example, I absolutely adore the old school Italian tradition of large extended family coming together for late evening meals. I love that! And their Catholic institution of marriage. I like it. Sure people deviate, Italy is in 2024 after all. But a part of my, romantic heart, traditional heart and ethics, really delights in that. I even like their attitudes towards divorce. I think divorce is an extremely heavy thing, a terrible thing actually. People divorce often on some silly reason (not you Bolt; but the shame is gone, people do it much more often now). I also believe children should ideally be raised by a man and woman, married, in a loving relationship. You can’t get better conditions than that, in my opinion. It’s optimum. And ideally as well, a sibling or two is nice. This is all taboo stuff but I do generally sway towards the more traditional social etiquette. I realise I was a lapdancer. This was before having children and being married but trust me, the irony is not lost. But I’m not 100% traditional and absolutist. I just generally like the more traditional norms and rules. x
  2. I anticipated this would be brought up! My opinion to rules on this thread regards cultural etiquette and gender expectations. Aka “the unspoken rules of culture”. My personal problem with rules and blind rule following tends to start with government involvement and law making, as my political stance is generally libertarian, which means, the least government involvement in people’s individual and private lives, the better. But that’s not for this discussion! I believe society and culturally, we need the “unwritten” social rule etiquettes. Or else, everything falls apart like the hedonism of the end times for Rome. I also have an alternative view that, when you truly love someone, of course you desperately need them, that’s the point! If you can live without them and they’re simply this kind of… addition, once everything is perfect and worked out, then really, is it even love? People have a misconception that maybe because a woman is a housewife, she is a vulnerable, helpless fawn lost in the woods. At the moment, and for the majority of my adult life, we have a mutual and very successful agreement that I will stay home and he will work. This is something that for 16 years has worked brilliantly. Ironically, I would wager when I was working full time (between 18-22) I probably made more money and for less “work” hours than most of the women here. But again, I am helpless and not independent? There are also many more creative ways to make plenty of money without formal education and degrees. My husband holds no degree, left school at 15 and has ran his own business now for over 25 years. In this financial climate he still supports us all and I still don’t need to work to maintain a very nice lifestyle. I would say women who are in happy and successful, traditional marriages, have freedoms other women do not. We get to do what we want - for example, we want to look after our children, find great joy and pride in doing that full time, don’t see it as a vulnerable weak burden that lessens us in society and the work place market. I get to arrange my day mostly as I see fit, apart from obviously considering the children. I have plenty of free time. I set my own schedule. I have access to funds just like my husband has access to our funds. Our investments and assets are joint. The house is in both our names, as are savings. In fact, if we divorced, I would come out even BETTER financially, that’s the messed up thing. I desperately need him. He is, my rock. He’s my ying to my yang. Where I am impulsive and often restless, he is calm and secure. Where he is a muddled clutz, I add a bit of flare and finesse. We fill in each others blanks and so have no problem admitting I am much weaker without him. That’s the point of being part of a team that actually works - you are stronger together in every way! If I was better off alone or could do life perfectly without him, why on earth would I have said “I Do!”? To me, the concept of partners being this cherry on top of a fiercely all together worked out person is a sure fire way for a relationship to NOT work out! I do desperately need my husband. Not necessarily for financial reasons, but heck, it makes it a hell of a lot easier on me! I get to not work and have an extremely comfortable and luxurious life style. He gets the children taken care of while he goes to work by a mother who loves them deeply, not a child minder. He gets home cooked meals made with love and care and my daughters who cracked the eggs! This isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a vulnerable thing, it’s not a “co-dependent” thing. It’s just two people of a traditional mind set who mutually decided what the best way was to have a happy marriage and raise their kids. If the world collapsed tomorrow I would make it through. But I actually do not class myself as a woman who needs no help and can do it all. We aid and make each others lives better. I need his help. He needs me, I need him, for so many reasons. When I was 14-17 and in college, I worked two extra jobs and knew of no other person who did that (I went to a very affluent college). I’m quite a hard worker, when I do work. But my idea of success is living life how you want to live it. And I’m doing that. I don’t need absolute truths or absolute security. It’s not possible. But that’s not what love or relationships are about to me. Life just, isn’t like that. Again, I think this is a false truth that is told to modern women by feminism. That you are secure only if you have a career, or go down a certain path of education. And with regards to rules as in, the text book? Well, if there were no rules, then, there would be no rules to bend, and that would make a slightly mischievous one like me very, very bored! I’ve got out of all kinds of things in my time where others have had a rule book thrown at them. I actually class the way I live at this very moment as slightly cavalier and exotic, to some extent, it definitely isn’t “normal” or what the majority do. For example, I am the only woman I know of in this small affluent town we live in that actually stays home full time. I don’t mean to buck a trend, it just worked out that way. In that respect, in some ways, am I following the rules of my fellow females? No! I am going against the modern grain. It’s working out; the proof is in the pudding. When it stops working, I’ll change my tune and adapt as we all have too, but until then, this feels like a sure thang! x
  3. It’s too much @DarkCh0c0 😭🤣 I’m feeling the love 🥺🤣🤣🤣 Nothing puts me in a better mood than hanging out washing on a line with a gentle breeze on a Spring morning 🥴 x
  4. My shopping vibe… 🤣🤣🤣 No but seriously, that owner of that outrageously tacky reproduction antique shop in Vegas just saw Christmas Lottery and New Year all come at once when Mr Jackson walked through his door 🤣 Shopaholic anonymous tell tale signs: Forgetting what you bought Buying repeat or very similar items A lack lustre trance like honed frenzy for the shop and spend experience, whilst also outwardly appearing bored Loss of thought or control Absolute disregard for any budget Panic when you might not be able to own something you see and want Everything an urge, or bought on an impulsive whim without much consideration Tasteless tat but Y’know, been there, done that, bought the chess set… LMAO x
  5. @Batya33! Reminds me of one lyric from an Eagles song that goes: ”He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty!” 🥂
  6. Morning Cherylyn! I do agree! I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! The barriers are down and everyone’s kind of, floating around on the open sea! I remember my initial gut reaction to this whole juicy and very interesting topic was - that the rules being broken down and dismantled isn’t always a good thing; and doesn’t always bring more freedom, not of the good and healthy kind, anyway. You could also argue that as much as people dislike tradition, at least you know where you stood with classic gender roles. It cut out all the confusion, delay, all of that. People knew what they had to do because society had this “accepted” path. Good and bad things about that, but I actually side on the argument it was for the better, not the worse. I tend to buck a trend before I even realise I’m doing it; being a bit of a silly contrarian n’all! But even I delight in the comfort of at least some rules and boundaries. I almost need the security of some kind of safety net, I can’t just be out with no rules in which the game is played and nothing to contain me! I think I also asked in my first post - what is now the role of a man? What is the role of a woman? What does it now mean to be a woman in 2024?(2023 I said @yogacat 🥲🤣)! Do we have a general idea? I suspect actually as a western society, we don’t anymore! It’s in my opinion causing a lot of problems. We wanted the walls breaking down and now we’re all like, woah, this open field is big, and there’s not a horizon line in sight! Love your input on this by the way. x
  7. Oh! Cheers Lootie! Love your user name by the way! ☺️ Nothing sweeter than a close proximity potential romance! x
  8. Kim, you seem like a total sweetheart! x
  9. Adding a bit more Robert Greene in here for good measure: 🥲 x
  10. If this isn’t staged, my cockles are warmed 🤣🥰 x
  11. —- Bow to the target Blame Cupid, Cupid You think you're smart Stupid, stupid The sweetest melody Is an unheard refrain So lower your sights Yeah, but raise your aim, raise your aim —— - ‘Poison Arrow’, ABC x
  12. Dias, 500K won’t sustain me for one minute LMAO I had a glimmer of what if I could buy this building in town - shop on the ground floor and convert and rent out maybe two flats above it. It has this cobbled court yard that’s all run down. I kind of fell in love. I keep convincing myself I’m going to one day buy all this stuff as well. Quite pathetic and obsessive. Part of me is very materialistic, it’s one of my down falls. x
  13. —- Some expression in your eyes Overtook me by surprise Where was I How was I to know? How we can drive to a movie show When the music is here in my car? There's a band playing on the radio With a rhythm of rhyming guitars They're playing Oh yeah On the radio. And so it came to be our song And so on through all summer long Day and night drifting on into love. Driving you home from a movie show So in tune to the sounds in my car. There's a band playing on the radio It's some time since we said goodbye And now we lead our seperate lives. But where am I Where can I go? Driving alone to a movie show So I turn to the sounds in my car. There's a band playing on the radio And it's drowing the sound of my tears. They're playing Oh yeah On the radio. —— x
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