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heloladies21

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heloladies21 last won the day on April 19 2006

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About heloladies21

  • Birthday 05/08/1978

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  1. lol this is an old thread. I got this one figured out thanks for the help though buddy.
  2. If you care for her, then why would you react like this? Holding your feelings of jealousy inside, pretending not to care. You would only get jealous of someone that you care about, but you reacted with disinterest. Actually it was reassurance in her dating another man! Not good, and trust me she notices. This is probably a problem that causes the end of many of your relationships. Holding your feelings inside and basically putting on a show. Solution is simple, stick up for yourself! Let her know you don't want her dating some other guy. You're the one who wants to date her. But if she's not up for it, then you're only putting yourself through the pain because if she's not interested, there's no reason to believe that she's gonna change her mind. At this point, either she wants you or she doesn't. And if not, then you move on.
  3. I didn't know what I was doing with girls until about a year ago. Then I started making all these realizations and now I'm very confident that I can have a successful relationship as I please (once I get the girl which is a whole different story). You just have to be open to the idea of learning how this is done.
  4. Moving to where she was wouldn't have made a difference. She would've done the same things, breaking up with you, going to other guys, then coming back. The same cycle. The reason why she did it wasn't because of where you lived, it's because you weren't able to show her your true emotions. You have a typical problem of many guys of bottling up your true emotions and not being able to fully stick up for yourself at all times. This is a problem which you're going to have to solve if you ever wanna have a successful relationship with any women because they will always react the same way by dumping you and finding someone else if you don't change.
  5. She's being straight with you so play it straight with her. Email her back right away.
  6. What? You just got called stupid. How can that be viewed as a good thing? I know my couple of posts have been ignored on this thread, but when it all shakes out and she continues to distance herself from you until the eventual break up, just have my advice in the back of your mind. Nothing wrong with making a mistake, but there is something wrong with making it over and over again. Your gf doesn't respect you. She thinks you are being fake with your emotions and is looking for a way out. This religion issue is just an excuse.
  7. It's too bad that you saw the therapist that you did because the advice you got basically amounts to psychological game playing and has a 0% chance of working. Honestly, I'd #1 get a new therapist (best to get a guy who is not one of those overunderstanding types hide their feelings type) and keep coming to us for advice. You want the solution? It all has to do with sticking up for yourself and showing the feelings that you care about her and the relationship. A sexless relationship is not normal. If you care enough, you won't accept it. If you're just "go with the flow", she's gonna think you don't care.
  8. Don't be so mad. She's just reacting to the situation that she's presented with. She's looking for the best guy out there, so we just need to keep improving your skills so that she can see it. Put it back on yourself, ask "What could I have done better to show her I'm the man." It's not mean not to call her anymore, but it's not a good idea to ignore her calls. If she tries to contact you, do not get mad at her. I usually tease a girl if she doesn't get back to me right away. Let her know you're not a wimp, but also let her know that you are not phased by it. In the meantime, other girls await.
  9. That's a symptom of a BIG PROBLEM. No matter what she says, she i emotionally withdrawing from you and will eventually dump you. And that's an excuse. People (girls usually) do this all the time. It's to deflect the harsh reality of the situation. Admitting to your partner and yourself that the relationship you're in isn't working. It's a process. Healthy relationships have intimacy. If there's none, then there's a problem. It has to be solved or else you two can't continue. On a side note, you sound like a really good guy. Very understanding, always willing to listen and lend a hand. These are all good things. But there looks like a problem because your "niceness" bleeds into not showing your true emotions all the time, even when the emotions you feel are negative. Not enough fully sticking up for yourself, and women get the impression that you're not being completely honest with them (fake).
  10. She'll most likely bring it up eventually, but you can do it too. It depends how it's all feeling to you. If it feels like the time is right, let her know what you want.
  11. Yes, let us know what she says. What did you end up saying to her by the way?
  12. Usually a symptom that something is fundamentally wrong with the relationship. If you notice the trend continue to where she wants it infrequently, then she is not so much into you and is emotionally separating from you on the way to a break up. A woman's sex drive is tied into how she feels about you personally. If she's just saying it in context as part of one isolated conversation, maybe it would be OK. Having an independent woman is something I very much look for in a gf, but she's bringing it up over and over again as if to make a point and don't ignore the subtlties of what she's saying. On one level, it's like a feminist chant that she is self sufficient. But on another level she is very much telling you that she doesn't need you on an emotional level and that is VERY BAD. Turn it the other way around for a second, let's say you told her the same thing-"You're very nice and I love you..but I don't need you." Guaranteed she would freak on you and think you don't care about her. It's a very weird thing to say to someone, but reacting with anything except a defensive tone is a mistake. Stick up for yourself. You want someone who wants to be with you. Do you want someone who constantly reminds you that they don't need you? (No). I'm not some naive romanticized guy here, probably a little on the harsh side actually, but part of loving someone is the feeling that you need them in your life. That you would feel wrong if they weren't there with you. No matter what she says, she's not fully in love with you right now. You can get her there, but it's gonna take you putting your foot down and looking out for what you want #1.
  13. And what would lead you to think this way? Because if you check out so many other posts on this site, it's never the case. A few different ulterior motives (alieving her guilt, unhappy with her current man which has nothing to do with her wanting you more-just something to kill time and fill up her life). None of the reasons are good. So do this, if you feel like you are strong enough to contact her and address the situation head on, stick up for yourself if need be, then feel free to call. But make sure you ask her right away why she's calling to avoid any BS. You want an answer on this call if she's interested in pursuing things with you further or if she just wants to be "friends." But if you have too many doubts as to how you'll react, then stay in NC. You can address things at a later time if you want.
  14. Yeah dude, ignore all the discouraging remarks and proceed. Get some other girl's numbers too while you're at it.
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