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Breea

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  1. It seems like you are unappreciative of her (even her sexual contribution) and don't enjoy the lack of challenge. In my opinion breaking it off sounds like the best thing for the both of you. It's not fair to keep the relationship going if you do not truly love/care for her and are not being sincere. Not trying to sound mean, just my opinion. Best wishes in making the right decision.
  2. thx hillary, glad to hear all is well with your situation. She hasn't contacted him lately, but it still really gets my goat that he doesn't cut her out! Leaving good ole faithful open if he should ever need her. But I don't dwell on it so much. Although it does anger me inside. I guess what gets to me is that she still somewhat has control. She has the nerve knowing he has a serious gf now, but she think's she's all that enough so to call him anytime she wants. She should be looking for a good ***** kickin imo! lol
  3. Hi, I remained in a marriage for 14 yrs ...for the kids sake. I thought it was the best thing for them, but I now see how wrong that was. I probably knew by yr 3 of our marriage that I was not happy/content with him and should have left then. I can't get back all of those years so I don't dwell on it. But, if you know that you are not content with him, if you do not love him like you should love a husband, regardless of whether or not he's a decent guy, then you should search your heart and do what's right for you. Because in the long run, your child will be happier if mom and dad are living a happy life. Remember, Life is Short kiddo!!! Best of luck to you in finding out what you want/need. -Bree
  4. I am super sensitive, too, and sometimes it sucks! However, that's the way I am. I think it is genetic and chemical and we should embrace it if we are that way. But, it can be a disadvantage to be too much of an open book. People tend to take advantage of other's vulnerabilities if they are out in the open.
  5. Hi, I am sorry to hear your bad situation, but life is short. It's a shame you wasted so many yrs settling and knowing deep down it was not right. I understand bc I did the same thing. It took me many years to come to terms and finally get out. Now I try to not feel guilty wasting all those precious years. You cannot go back, but what you CAN do is learn to be true to yourself and love yourself enough to realize you deserve better and DON'T settle for anything else. I wish you happiness and please know it's possible if you tell yourself you deserve it! -Bree
  6. annie, when I gently suggest that we need to live apart and resume a normal dating relationship for the sake of saving "us" he gets offended and rejected feeling. It is too painful to just up and leave him. I'm in so much pain over this right now. I have told him that I do not want to lose him and think it is the only way we may be able to make it long-term, but he doesn't seem to understand.
  7. Hello, and thanks for taking the time to listen. I'm in a depressed state now for several months because I feel that my bf and I are not going to make it. First and foremost let me say that I love him with all my heart and soul. I truly feel the love back from him. I have no doubt he loves me as much as I love him. But.... in my opinion he is selfish and self-centered when it comes to problems I have with our relationship. I DO NOT believe in the delusion of trying to change someone. I know better than that one, but there are things in our relationship that cannot continue or I will be forced to leave. I DO NOT want to leave!!!!! I want to work it out. I know I'm being repetitive, but I want to stress that I want to be with him forever, but I feel I'm not getting through to him at all. The main problem is basic respect issues. I want to be treated like gold. Maybe I'm unrealistic in what my needs are. I ponder that and wonder if I'm just being a brat somehow??? See, we moved way too fast. We live together and I feel taken for granted. I know, MY MISTAKE! Hindsight is a real b ...tch! I want some resemblance of a normal couple. I would like for him to take me out on a date maybe once on the weekends. I have asked and talked to him, but it's almost as if he won't do it because I want him to. I feel like an old housewife already and DON'T WANT THAT right now! He's 12 yrs younger and I know we're not at the same place. Can we work it out? It's not feeling like it. My example is not the extent of our problems. When we have an argument and the problem is something I am having a problem with, he turns it around on me! He ignores my pain. We get nowhere. There is no resolution and resentment is creeping into my heart. It's almost as if he denies whatever I say I'm having a problem with. He denies my feelings. I can't go on indefinitely this way. Another red flag for me that it may not work out is his lack of wanting to know me on the inside. He doesn't want to get into my head which I think means he's just into it to fill his own needs. We are affectionate and the love I feel from him is infinite, but somehow not complete. I cannot explain it. What the h... is going on???? I'm so confused and lost, happy and discontent at the same time. It makes no sense. It's either really good or really bad. A rollercoaster ride. Is there no hope???? Any insight is greatly appreciated. Thx -Bree
  8. ...if you're talking about forgiving yourself or accepting aspects of your life then I can relate. It's typical to be our own worst critic. I am that way. I struggle to not see myself as a "failure" for my decisions in life that have led me to where I am now. Life is short. Nobody's perfect. That's the beauty of being human!!!Don't dwell on the past. You can't change it. What's done is done. Take control NOW and make decisions you can be happy with. Enjoy life. Gratitude is important imo. Sometimes realizing how good I really have it helps me be content with my life. I hope you can realize that you don't have to take life so seriously and enjoy all the good in you. Life is what we make of it each moment. Oh, and happy new year to you! -Bree
  9. Shysoul, from a logical standpoint I totally agree with your point of view. Actually to truly forgive myself is the hard part. It's not so much that I did a deliberate bad "thing", but it's more of the mistakes that shaped my life very early on that make me feel like such a failure, a loser in a sense. I got pregnant early and never got over the shame. I felt like such a piece of trash -unwed teenage mother, i was kicked out of my home, struggled w/a baby on my own. Yes, I've often said and believe that what does not kill you only makes you stronger. But things have scarred me inside none the less. To try to fix the problem I married someone to try to complete my family and raise my child in a good home. Only to have another child w/this man (who I never loved the way I should have) and stayed 14 yrs. my oldest child is a rebel and always hated her father (the one who adopted/raised her) and now my youngest just moved out to live with the father, who I finally got divorced from. So yes i feel like a horrible mother and bad person for marrying someone for the wrong reasons, even though I thought hanging in there was for the right reasons ...for the kids sake. Now I see what a mistake it was. All those wasted years, the kids being raised under all that tension. Never going to college and wasting my brain. I just feel like a failure deep down inside. It is hard to explain, but it's like I can see my life from another standpoint. I see myself in a loving way, also. I'm relatively smart, funny, sweet and loving, I try to live a good life, I look in the mirror and love myself so why can't I bury those scars and self-criticisms????? It's not like I live in the past. I don't think about it much, but when I do a flood of emotions is still there for some reason. I try to live my life in a positive way. So what the hell's wrong with me?????????????????
  10. I must say that forgiving myself has always been hard for me. I struggle on a daily basis to try to fogive myself for past mistakes. Guilt has been a part of my life I try very hard to overcome. My question to everyone is: How do you learn to forgive yourself? and let go of feeling guilty over things in your past? I make a conscious effort to realize that I am my own worst critic and am unrealistic about my mistakes. But it is not a battle I am winning at this point. Any suggestions??????????? Thanks -Bree
  11. I have experienced being taken for granted in life. I wonder, like you, if it is because I'm too nice and loving and way too open. I think people in general can use our vulnerabilities to their advantage. I'd like to hope it is not on a conscious level, but I wonder sometimes. I live with my bf and realize that it is way too much way too soon. I do feel that it has changed the natural progression of a loving relationship as far as leading to marriage, etc. Just my opinion. I hope you figure it out. Think long and hard before leaping based on your love for someone. But, it does depend on what you want long-term. You know, the whole why buy the cow theory. You may want to check out some of my other posts to see how I feel about the whole living together issue. Anyway, best of luck in figuring it out. -Bree
  12. Jetta, I feel for your situation because I can relate to how you feel. I married someone for the wrong reasons. He was a nice guy, he loved me and was what I thought to be a good father. You see, I screwed up and had a child while young and was all alone in the world. I chose him to make my "family" although I never really loved him. Over the years I loved him, but not in the way I should have. I stayed almost 14 years and I now know that I should have left within the first 3 yrs. I knew at that point that I was not happy with him or content, but I stayed for the kids (yep, I had one with him, also). I would never tell you to leave, because it is a big decision and you must search your heart, but please don't waste 14 years like me. So that is my advice. People will slam me, but staying for the kids is NOT good for them either. Yes, they need a daddy, and stability, but mommy and daddy unhappy and arguing (which will very likely increase with time) is NOT A GOOD ENVIRONMENT for THEM. Maybe this guy you have met makes you see that there is likely someone out there you can connect to and love. Love is what makes the world go around. If you do decide to leave, please try to take it slow if you decide to date this new guy. Don't throw yourself into another serious deal too soon. You probably need to do some soulsearching and take care of you. Decide what you want out of life. I have plowed into a new relationship too soon too serious. Take it from me, I wish I would have taken it slower. Oh well, live and learn right. I know I'm rambling, but I hope maybe my situation has been of some help in seeing yours better. Best wishes in your situation. -Bree
  13. Just my feelings at the moment. Comments??? LOVE ...FOOLISH HEART Stomp my feet Slam the door Scream "enough!" No one around to hear me Nobody really cares Alone in this world The river flows Wipe the tears They just come back Pain Ache in my heart Over you once again Look in the mirror Don't know what I see Can't smile at me anymore Displeased with my life my choices Stupid heart Foolish heart Wish I could live without it Would throw it away It's killing me slowly Hyperventilate Catch my breath This won't be the last time Love hurts Remember standing on that cloud? Never higher How did I get here from there? Love Foolish heart
  14. I'm so sick of this. She showed up when he was working and had a little confrontation. She had her best friend with her and according to him only the best friend blasted him and he had words with her. He says SHE (the ex) never said a word, which I find hard to believe. He said he told the friend that it was over! and he walked out. He told me about the incident so I don't think he's being sneaky or wanting to see her, but it just seems like childish games with her. She is accomplishing what I think her goal is, because we are agruing about it (her). Here's what is happening ...I did get upset that she pops up again. Which I think is perfectly understandable! Am I wrong? Now he is mad at me for not being happy about it. Why does he get mad at ME. Shouldn't he be mad at HER for her bs??? What gives??? Any opinions appreciated.
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