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bettyboop401

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  1. Hi all. I'm confused. I went out the other night...flirted up a storm with this guy...and things seemed to be going well. He was touchy feely...buying me drinks...seemed keen to move further. I was too. So he pulled me to the side...held me close to him...and we stared into each others eyes for at least 5 minutes. He was smiling at me...so I leaned in for the kiss. Well he pulled away...but didn't let go of me...just said he'd call me. He kept telling me all night that he'd call me (got my number within 5minutes of meeting each other). I know he won't call me...that's not the point. Why would he give me every signal to say kiss me (staring at my lips, licking his, smiling cheekily) but pull away from it? But at the same time...keep hold of me. He said I had too many 'bodyguards' looking out for me - and I kinda did...they were my friends though...just I'm more outgoing than them. But if he wanted to he wouldn't have let my friends interfere right? I mean...I'm SO confused. Please help. Am I unattractive...is that why he didn't want to kiss me? Cheers! Betty
  2. Hi all...I need your help. I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 2 and a half months, but he insists he's head over heals in love with me. After 3 days he said he loved me and a few weeks after that he was talking about moving in together. I'd decided that we weren't suited because he obviously wanted something I wasn't ready to give so at about 6 weeks I decided to talk to him and break it off. He was so sweet...and promised he'd try and back off a bit and give me my space. So I agreed to take him back...I felt bad. Then a week and a half later he still was being clingy...even turning possessive. So again I tried to talk to him. He's always so sweet and I can't bring myself to end it cause I feel really really horrible. If only he was horrible to me or whatever...I just don't feel we're suited. Anyway...last night he was actually really horrible and jealous and rude to my friends so I decided to take my annoyance and end it. He started bawling...like hysterically...saying he was so in love with me and that's why he was acting the way he was...made it feel like my fault...and made me feel REALLY REALLY bad. So I again couldn't do it. I really really do want to end it...so my question is...how do you break up with a really really nice guy...and how do I put out of my head the hurt that he's going to feel - I don't seem to be able to get past that. Any answer that isn't 'just suck it up and end it' would be appreciated - I've tried that and I can't do it! Thanks. Betty
  3. Gee thanks. I don't have a partner so I haven't cheated so to speak, but I did go out with some guys who I'd heard had girlfriends. Basically we drunk a lot, and got VERY friendly - but there was no kissing. The night ended pretty early and I know that if it hadn't, more would've gone on. I've just been worried about whether or not I was helping them to cheat. I know we didn't kiss but it was very sexually orientated flirting, which I tend to do when I get drunk - no excuse I know. But thanks heaps for your responses!
  4. Hi All! This is just a topic that's been going through my head recently. I was just wondering what cheating is to you...whether it's emotional, physical, or a combination of both. And if it's physical...how 'friendly' is too friendly? Thanks! Betty!
  5. Hi! It might sound silly but I've kinda figured out how much I really like this guy. I'm just not sure if he likes me back. I posted a message a while ago about a girl blurting out drunk that this guy liked me...well he kinda blurted it out the other day - while drunk. The problem is, apart from him being VERY drunk, he also didn't say that he LIKED me liked me...but that he thought I was very attractive. Is there a distinction between that? I mean, is it possible to find someone attractive without liking liking them? Anyway...just wondering if you guys think I should take this seriously and show my feelings back or just put it down to him being drunk? He makes me feel like I"m the only one around when I'm with him...crazy huh! Thanks all Betty
  6. I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. I noticed this guy who I worked with starting to flirt with me and, being attracted to him, I flirted back. The first few times we talked I did the 'check for a ring' test and he didn't have one so I proceeded to flirt more intensely. Then all of a sudden I noticed a ring one day. He saw me looking and the next time I saw him it had swapped hands. I was confused, but was starting to really like him so I made an excuse for the ring changing hands and re-appearing. People around me were telling me he wasn't married and I believed them. I let myself fall for him and then one day I found out for sure he was married. Usually I let them go if they're dating, but I'd gone too far. I couldn't stop thinking about him and what it would be like to be with him. However I couldn't live with a man who would do that to someone he's made a committment of love to. I distanced myself, kept my conversations with him short and read a lovely book called 'he's just not that into you' which kicked my senses back into gear. It takes time yes, but you will be able to stop thinking about him and move on, and he'll do the same. Sorry for the long windedness...just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Hope all is going well! Betty!
  7. Oh ok thanks everyone. Yeh he's pretty flirty around me. Teasing and giving cheeky smiles and things like that. When I do something doppy he lets it slide by moreso than he does with his other friends and remembers things I like (which isn't that obvious because I'm a HUGE creature of habit ). But then again that could just be cause he's feeding off my flirty behaviour. I just didn't want to look at this guy with the feeling that I knew something that he didn't want to share with me. That's not to say that I'm upset that she might not be telling the truth. I'd actually prefer to not hear it like that if it's true. So thanks for putting things in perspective. Betty!
  8. I was just wondering if, when you're really drunk, you tell the truth. I only ask this because I have one drink if any when I go out so I don't know. Also because my friend, while drunk, mentioned that this guy I like had confided in her that he liked me too. Is this wishfull thinking that she was telling the truth, or could she have just been making it up because of the alcohol? Thanks! Betty!
  9. This isn't always so...I'm a very flirty person and I'm always touching people...male and female. I don't restrict my touches for people I"m attracted to - in fact I find it harder to flirty touch someone I like. Everyone's different in their mannerisms. However with everything you've said it does sound like she likes you. The only real way to find out is to ask. I hope everything goes well! Betty!
  10. It sounds to me like he did(does) like you...but when you looked away and started ignoring him it gave him the idea that his intentions weren't appreciated by you...so he backed off. The thing with being 'overly' friendly (and I say that in a round about way cause I'm not sure what you really did) after being cold is that it can confuse someone. Don't worry too much. Just be your normal friendly self and don't put too much pressure on yourself in terms of wanting him to like you back or someone finding out you like him. Things have a way of working out for the best when you're not expecting them to. Good Luck! Betty
  11. Just a question about teasing - is it more effective for you guys if you smirk with it or if you smile with it or if you don't show any emotions. They're very different and I was wondering if smirking lessens the flirting value. And on topic - I don't think you NEED to tease to flirt with or get a girl but I think teasing is fun to do. Being a girl I like the witty challenge of teasing back if I'm fast enough, or showing them how good they are if I can't. Usually I can though! Of course it's a personal choice. Betty!
  12. Hey! Workplace flirting can be really fun, but also really tricky. My workplace has so much flirting in it but it's moreso for fun than anything else and everyone knows that. I think you'll be more confident with asking a girl out if you feel more confident that they like you. Read some of the threads about the signs girls give when they like a guy. These aren't cut in stone and do depend on the girl, but it'll give you something to look for. Also if you're good with a bit of teasing or joking around you could try that. She seems to have to walk past you every now and then...so if you say something witty but not insulting you may find her finding ways to talk to you. Good Luck! Betty!
  13. If you've known him for 3-4 years are you not confident talking about these issues with him? If he's being distant just ask him if everything's ok. If he doesn't open up and says he's fine, perhaps you could say that that's good and you wouldn't have asked, just he seemed distant. I'm not saying it'll work and he'll want to tell you every problem he's got, but it's worth a try and couldn't hurt. If he's really busy he may be preoccupied so it may have nothing to do with your relationship. He sounds like a great guy if he's worried about hurting you, but you just have to tell him, as you said, that it's something for you to deal with but you do appreciate his concern. Just let him know that you're prepared to try a relationship and you don't want to not do anything because of maybe's. Good Luck! Betty!
  14. I agree with this completely. The people around you are more intuned to other peoples behaviour towards you than you are - or at least I've found this to be true. I've also found that if you like someone you're behaviour will instinctively change around them anyway. The touching and smiling and laughing increases. But definitely try the look, look away, and look back with a smile. Oh and laugh when they make a joke...even try a slight playful hit to their arm - but not hard. Good Luck! Betty!
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