Queen_Midas

Ok seriously, Personality: Intelligent (someone who is well educated) BUT not someone who thinks he's smarter than me. Respect for women - I am a feminist and very independent, I need a guy who respects that and is not intimidated by it (like most guys are!). Caring and sensitive - I am an emotional girl and I suffer depression and anxiety, so I need someone who can understand that and is strong enough to help me deal with it. Looks: Tall - like 5ft10 or over is ideal. Fairly athletic. Big eyes. Just something about him that makes me like him - can';t put my finger on what it is - but i guess it's like an aura or a vibe. MOST OF ALL: Someone who likes me and thinks I am just wonderful.. hehe! But seriously, I don't want to feel insecure and on the lower power differential, I couldn't handle it! Queen midas.

I can definitely relate to those of you who seem to think finding someone is impossible. I talk from the perspective of a 22 y.o. female who has never been asked out even once by someone serious. I would consider myself fairly attractive, I'm smart and I'm kinda.. but I just never get any interest... I am also averse to meeting someone in a bar/club..the few times I've tried it out - gone to a bar, I've found most of the guys there are sleazy and not the type I'd want anyway...where do the good guys go? I have also tried internet dating to no avail, again the only responses I get are from either old people (like way too old for me) ior just generally unsuitable people... I don't have that manty requirements so i don't think it's me being picky, its just difficult in this day and age to meet some like minded.. oh well will keep trying...like u guys say we are only young, plenty of time! QMxxx

Hey guys, I know you're right... I wish I could just get over it, like I should have months back... No email and I doubt there will be. Why can't I just let go? And I am sure he didn;t send an email to the wrong addy, he's emailed me plenty of times before... But thanks for the optimism! QM

No I meant have I acted childishly...not him!

Annie, he is such a strange guy... He called me - said he was sorry, and said how about thurs/fri? I said thurs i had to work. he asked me if i was volunterring fri night, i saud yes, he said he'd email me.. he never did. when i saw him on fri night, he acted like nothing was wrong. He approached me even after I was cold with him, and then when we left he sorta lingered as if he was waiting for me to say something... Who knows? He confused me, and it's over anyway.. unless he does something real soon!

The guy I have liked for ages, had to cancel a coffee date (we were going out as friends, he doesn't 100% know how i feel about him) - legitimate excuse for canceling, he said we should do it another day that week. Anyway we decided on friday (we volunteer together on fri nights).. he said he'd email me, but never did - when I got to the volunteer place, he acted like nothing had happened, was friendly and made an effort to talk to me... but I ignored him, avoided him and was deliberately short with him. When he left, he said "I'll email you." I must have looked unimpressed, because he stood there staring at me for a second, as if to say "what?" then kinda smiled and left... it was so weird... Any thoughts?

I have had a crush on him for 8 months... I asked him if he wanted to go for coffee (as friends).. and today he emailed me and said he can't make it (has to help his dad) but can we make it thurs or friday? Is this a good that he suggested another time, or is cancelling on me just a sign he doesnt reallty like me... QM

Hey I'm the same hun.. I never drink and my parents try and encourage sensible social drinking.. a glass of wine a day, that's supposed to be good for ya?! But I don;t like alcohol and never will. My parents think I'm a bit overly moral.. cos I don't swear either.. but it's ok.. each to their own... and they love me just the same. I'm sure ur parents don't mean any harm by it. Queen Midas

Hey.. did she suggest another day to see the movie yet? I think it's a positive sign that she called you and talked about her day.. and that she explained that she didn't wanna set a date and then cancel.. that shows concern not uncertainty in my opinion.. And yes girls are socialised to play a little hard to get.. so maybe she's just doing the old trick of not being too available?! who knows? Hope everything goes well.. qm.xxx

That's really weird.. Have u replied to him? QM

It's not like I've played hard to get the whole time..it's a difficult situation to explain.. I'm more doing this regain some of the "power" (for want of a better word) that I lost before when I was always miss. nice, always there and it got me nowhere.. now if he stills wants a chance with me HE has to do the chasing.. if he does, great, if not then obviosuly it's not meant to be.. but I need to know he's willing to make an effort.. and i need him to realise that I am not some desperate girl who's waiting around for him to decide what he wants to do.. All very confusing i know! qm

I hope she says yes too.. I would regard the "it's a good day to see a movie" and return call as interest... so we'll soon find out... but remember text messages are the worst way to ask someone out, u never know if they got em and u have no nonverbal cues when they answer..!! I made that mistake before!! Good luck! qm.xxx

Hey, I'm sure what I have to say has been said in the previous 4 pages of replies.. but anyway!! 1) Liking someone who likes you is human nature ( someone else did say that already).. but if u study attraction in Social Psychology you'll learn it's natural and happens all the time!! 2) I am in the same situation.. The whole reason I fell so hard for my current crush is because I thought he might like me.. and yes he's gorgeous too..lol! QM

Ok so now I'm TRYING to play hard to get, same guy as before, just now he knows I like him, it's up to him right?.. So yesterday we had our course, the other girl (who we're both friends with) asked if we'd like to go for a quick drink (we tend to do this after the course sometimes).. and "he" was standing next to her.. and I said, "Yeah... are you guys going?..." and looked at them both.. and then "actually no I'd better not.. i'm meeting my best friend..see you next week thought." So his reaction was a bit weird. Like a very short "ok. bye.".. like he was almost annoyed, maybe surprised is more the case? A few minutes later, he turns back to me and says, "do yuo need a lift to the station?" it was late at night and he's quite chivalrous, he always walks me when i have no one else to walk with.. but this time there's a whole grp of us.. and they'd already offered to drop me at the station.. so I said, no it's ok.. Should i take these as positive reactions to my playing hard to get? A) He shows concern, b) he's a bit surprised when I do say no.. Also he asked me A LOT of questions last night.. about my uni stuff that's stressing me out, he always asks me about things that i am stressing about, and tries to kinda reassure me.. Am I reading too much into it AGAIN? QM

I think the smiling a lot, playing with hair, asking you how you're feeling.. etc.. Also if she's shy she won't look at you too much, she'll act VERY nervously around you. Good luck, qm