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boonpop

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  • Birthday 08/01/1978

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  1. Here's the reality of it. One you are not married to her, and even if you were, you'd have to understand that her life is her own life and it's not right for you to control who she speaks to, hangs out with, or decides to invest time in. Two, if she is with you, she is there because she wants to be there. You can run around all day wondering what she is doing, and who she is doing it with, but truth is, if she wanted to do anything with these guys she hangs out with, you being jealous isn't going to stop her and chances are she'd have done it by now. My advice to you is make sure she knows how you feel about her so that her time spent with these other guys won't end up being time spent searching for attention. As long as she has the reassurance that you can offer her something these other guys can't, there is no need for her to look elsewhere, and no need for you to worry. If she continues to hang out with these guys, and never offers for you to come along and join them, find some friends of your own to hang out with and do the guy thing. Check out a few clubs and have a merry good time without her. If you happen to meet a few female friends along the way, so be it, hang out with them too and celebrate. Why? It's not that I'm trying to have you be vengeful and immature, but the fact is that a thief won't trust a thief. If you started to hang out with the fellows, or other girls for that matter, and your girlfriend starts to question your actions, chances are she may be doing something unethical on her spare time, and your ventures into the same territory may make her feel uncomfortable. It's simply a way of reading her reactions to find the answers you're looking for, that's all.
  2. I have to agree with Bethany on this one. Anyone who looks at porn at all can tell you that no matter what you type in Google or any other browser in general, 7 out of the 10 responses are going to be of teen sites. It's difficult to avoid. If you don't believe me, try it. Another fact is that porn can be addictive if it becomes a part of a daily routine. I imagine this is why people also smoke cigarettes because their bored, there's nothing better to do at the time, and they are so used to the routine of smoking that they light up without thinking about it. I also heard that people can become subconsciously attracted to their computer. I know it sounds stupid, but just like an animal can become conditioned to salivate anytime he hears a dinner bell, people can tend to be aroused any time they sit at a computer if it is indeed a part of their daily routine. My advice is that you find things you and your husband can do together to distract him from the computer. Go out for walks, rent movies, or just spend more time away from home in general, that way he breaks out of his routine and the porn thing won't even be on his mind. Or try going to something slow like dial up where the pictures take forever to come up, or disconnect the internet all together, just for a month or two. Trust me lol,....it works.
  3. 2 words, rebound coochie. I wouldn't even feel bad in that particular situation if I were you. One reason being the fact that he waited a whole 5 days before jumping head over heals into another full blown relationship tells me that you were dealing not with a man who loves You unconditionally, but with a man who probably is insecure about something and needs someone there beside him to validate his existence. It's always a good thing to take time to heal after a relationship, and a move like the one he made will only set him further off of his track. Not to bad mouth him or put out any negative energy, but let's say their relationship isn't just a rebound fling, and they do decide to run with it for lets say oh, 7 years. She will be 28, still young and ready to date, but he on the other hand will be 40 and will be looking for an expensive automobile to help him cope with mid-life. Every situation that takes place in life can be looked at as a learning experience. The fact that your relationship ended when it did just placed you in a position to evaluate where exactly you are right now. Take this time to reflect what you've experienced, and appreciate what you have gone through and learned from your last relationship. The worse thing you can do is worry about the well beings of an ex, or ask questions to compare or contrast yourself with his new lover. You have better things than that to do with your time. Don't sweat it sweetie, you'll be alright.
  4. If you've ever been in love you may agree that…….. that there is nothing in this world as constant as change. The person you fall in love with today, may not be the same person you wake up beside tomorrow. There are bound to be events, situations and other outside stimuli taking it's toll on a person, and although your relationship may not be able endure, change is definitely an inevitable factor that you will have to encounter. With that said, how is it possible for a person to fall in love with a creature so bound to change? From my own experience, I have either fell in love with the potential a mate had (which by the way is unattainable) or I've even found myself infatuated with the ideal I created of who a person really was. I've come to realize that in order to truly be in love with a person, you have to first fall in love with their flaws, then accept all that person has to offer instead of looking at potential, or being infatuated. Now, do the majority of you agree, or disagree with that statement?
  5. Man, I have to say that I appreciate the fact that all of you replied to my question as passionately as you did, and with enough insight to express opinions toward other people's response. I'm not one to argue, because I know everyone has their own opinion on life and what it means to them, that's why I made the question so open ended like it was. Any way with that said, I have my own belief of what life is for anyone who is interested. In my opinion, life is a gift of experience. Human’s, plants, ameba's and animals all share one trait in common, they have been given the gift of life to experience all that it has to offer. I don't know much about religion, reincarnation, the after life and preparing for what's next, but what I do know is that I've been given this gift of experience and everything that I've lived through thus far has been just that....An experience. Now if you ask me, there is a secret to getting the most out of life after you understand what it really is, but that's another post. Thanks again people for clarifying what life meant to all of you.
  6. So what about Trees, insects, animals and amibas? They can express themselves with our vastly overcomplicated human emotions, but are they not living right along side us? I notice that most people describe life from what it means to be human and that shows the hubris nature of the human mind. There has to be more to life than just our own emotions and complications right?
  7. I can't really explain my thoughts to you. You wouldn't understand my tongue Away but never gone I've spoken to your soul Your absense keeps me company Some nights you even run from me Sitting beside the silence I'm forced to hear my thoughts. Standing alone in the still of things I'm wondering what the next day brings. I can't quite get a hold on things Without pondering on our past. Afraid to take a chance at love Not knowing how long it will last. Sitting beside the silence Lacking guidance on my path Approaching with hesitations Lacking skills of calculations I've always had low expectations For situations involving math. I still feel your smile And remember the bliss of your kiss away but never gone At least now I know that Love exist.
  8. I was wondering to myself the other day if many of our great artist or musical composers were not depressed themselves. I escaped from depression by keeping myself distracted from reality. My mother's body was found deep in the woods under some shrubbery when I was starting my freshman year of high school. I turned to writing, drawing, sports, painting and everything else I could possibly do to keep my mind occupied. I believe we all have our drugs, or our escapes from reality. Instead of taking Paxil, I chose the pencil and I believe that was a more profitable decision for me. If you noticed however, the one thing that all my hobbies had in common were that they were all vehicles for me to express my own deeper emotions. Looking back, I chose to express myself through my work rather than intake a drug that I would depend on later. Now I know not everyone is the same, but I believe you were right to get off of the medication. The trick is now, to find something to occupy your time, and do your best to lose yourself in whatever it is that keeps you happy.
  9. I always knew men and women were speaking two totally different languages. This little insight confirms that notion. I got a kick out of reading and agreeing with it. Thanx for sharing.
  10. If you all have already been together for five years, he doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. Be patient. The worst thing in the world you can do is rush him into that situation if he's not ready. Men hate to be rushed into doing anything. We see it as b!tc#ing. I understand that you're ready to start a family and all, but why don't you just let him come to that realization on his own? It's obvious that he's not quite ready yet, and who knows what type of thoughts are going through his head right now? I watched Charolite on Sex And the City go through the same motion where she was persisting that her boyfriend propose to her. So persistent infact that he left her standing there looking desperate. The sad part about that was that he'd already chosen the ring and was just waiting for the right time to ask. The more you chase something, the more it has to run from you. If you really want to be with this man for the rest of your life, you need to give him time and space to come to that same un-rushed conclusion.
  11. We are not defined by broken homes or failed marriages. We are not defined by our mistakes or our trials and tribulations through life. There is no secret cure to our problems in the bottoms of those bottles you're drinking. If there was a secret cure out there to get us through the holiday's I would have smoked all of it up a long time ago. You say you have children right? Ask yourself, what are you living for. What is the meaning of life to you? I don't mean the emotions of life like happiness, pain, fear, or anything else that can be summed up into one adjective. Why are you truly here? When you find the answer to that question, you will find a little more comfort in the holidays, and you'll be able to put down that bottle.
  12. Boxing and Muy-Thi have been called the most efective fighting styles there are. Do a little research on those two, and leave nutts alone. They are too painful to even joke about
  13. not only did I read it, but I also understand what you're going through. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but that's only because I haven't sought after help yet. I've been in your shoes though, and I know how it feels to admire the person you are when you are with someone else and want to have that part of your life back. I'm also a firm believer that everything in life that happens, happens for a reason. You've only seen a glimpse of what life is, and you don't need one particular female in your life to get back to the person you ARE. You have to keep in mind that the little window of happiness you were shown was just a segment of an ever going and growing process. You already know your weakness and that you are prone to depression, but my question to you is, what are you going to do about it? Another question I have for you is, "Is what you believe real or is it simply real because you believe?" Happiness is nothing more than a mental state. Just because you were failing in class and D's and F's shat on your expectation of college doesn't mean you're a failure. Hell my transcript is full of D's and F's and I'll be the first one to sit up and exchange giggles with you about that. You may not have total control over every event that takes place in your life, but what you do have total control over is the way you view the situation and the outcome. Keep that in mind the next time depression starts to creep up on you. I can almost guarantee that if you change the way you view yourself, you will in turn change the way others view you, and you might even be able to get your girl back in the process. Keep ya head up man, there's a whole lot of life left to live.
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