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I agree about the drinking behavior. Even if he normally does not drink that much, this thing about the ex is no real excuse for an escalating alcohol dependence. Is he still in love with her? Talk with him directly and get to the bottom of it. Adolescent love is a hard sensation to shake off. His ex is the stimulus he associates with that pure and unfettered sensation of being in love. Getting over that is his problem. You only get dragged into it if you choose to.

I wish I could afford an xbox or some kind of cool game system. I can't even play a decent game of solitaire on the stupid Mac. So I'm addicted to forum posting.

Sounds like a problem to me. It's interfering in your relationship, that's definitely a sign of more trouble to come. Regretting what you did last night on a regular basis is a problem. More importantly, you don't feel good without it. Expect that sensation to amplify. Also, you don't know when you're drunk. It's not commonly acknowledged, but people who get sick quickly (lightweights) are less apt to develop a serious drinking problem. You are young and you have ability to question yourself, and that's really good. Keep questioning yourself. Seek help.

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Alcohol is a funny drug. Actually, the chemical action on your nervous system is a toxic action. So what you experience is a low-level poisoning. Drink a little too much, you can end up dead. Pretty funny, huh? So on our way to death while having fun drinking, our nervous system starts to go haywire and its function diminishes because basically we are killing ourselves slowly. That's what happens when you start to die: all your body's normal functions stopping hitting their mark. This includes your nervous system. This includes your brain, and then your mind. Some people get all sentimental over their past (since its flashing before their eyes), others get violent and angry and confrontational, still others become sweet and horny and hilarious. There are couple of kinds of drunks. Myself, for example, I can't drink too much because I get sick easily, so I have never, ever blacked out and done things I can't remember. But others drink and don't get sick, then they start acting like fools and driving and fighting and kissing, but in the morning all they remember is that second to last drink when they were still human. In your case, I would suggest not drinking. Drinking until you pass out in delerium of emotional distress is a really bad habit and leads down a slippery slope. I personally know of many men who lost everything because of such behavior.

The thing I realized about these threads is that they are like fresh bread. So this thread is like the half-priced loaf no one will touch. I do feel strongly about this issue, and have touched on it several other threads. People who want to keep pot illegal are simply blinded by propaganda. It is utter nonsense. Looking up the names of studies is like arguing over Biblical scripture - what counts is truth and truth is in experience. I also have vast personal experience with marijuana and I am currently not smoking. Again, it's not drugs that ruin people, it's the people themselves.

I think Jinx is all wrong. There are all kinds of studies out there, but a lot of assumptions about drugs are made from sources who "say" there is a study, but really there is not, or it was debunked. Do your own research. I know plenty of crazies who never smoked a joint or drank a beer. I know violent people who are so proud they never touched drugs (alcohol included). People who get addicted to drugs are going to get addicted no matter what is legal or not. Every stoner knows smoking does not impair driving or other motor skills, and there is evidence to support that, too. What happens in tests that prove otherwise is that a person who smokes cares less about motor skills when he or she knows it's a test. Anyway, prohibition leads to black markets and black market crime. If the US legalizes, do you think all these other countries are going to keep it illegal? I think not. It'll never happen as long as there's so much propaganda out there, that's for sure. So drink up America, you get what you deserve. I really doubt legalizing marijuana would lead to widespread troubles. Humans have plenty of problems without something to calm them down. But pot is not for kids. No drug is good for kids.

I don't see why you say you disagree. Maybe you don't like the tone, but what I wrote is the barebones truth. We all feel bad for her, but I think trashing the guy doesn't make sense. I already said I think they both did the right thing. He was no coward for knowing what he did or didn't want. If you think moving out was cowardice, that's just how you rationalize your own pain/anger/frustration. I said I bet none of this is easy for him, either. Remember, he had already been married once and it ended badly. It is ridiculous to say leaving her was some sort of crime - he got the picture really quick, made up his mind and stopped wasting everybody's time. This is the result of two adults standing up for what they really want or don't want. Sounds like you got an axe to grind. Maybe we both do, but let's not at the OP's expense.

He didn't want to get married. You let him know that getting married was more important than actually having him in your life. He did the right thing. And so did you. Make sure you get your money and he gets his stupid stuff out of your apartment and move on. I bet right now he's hella sad too. Hey, at least you didn't have kids.

I tend to agree with the spirit of the other replies. Your wife is your new family. What you have with the family you were raised with is now like a cement block. You can't get rid of it if you try, beautiful or ugly. Your new family with your wife, on the other hand, is like a precious and fragile crystal which must be preserved or it may get damaged. It sounds like your family has issues which are just as difficult as your wife's, but that you gave up on them a long time ago. My suggestion is that you change things up - give your mom and your family the third degree about how they treat your wife, ask them to make real concessions, show your wife that they care about you, her and your new family. The reason: your family will continue to love you, but your wife is losing it. I don't think there's anything you do about the wedding, though. You both have to go and live through it somehow. Really try to take your wife's side for once. Talk to her nicely, agree that you can see she feels bad about these things, and that you care. Don't make her feel like you favor your family over her - that is not going to work out well. I also agree that your wife sounds unreasonable, but whose wife isn't?

This also is not a poem I decided today like yesterday and the day before Not to commit suicide today or tomorrow or any day after Good to feel like I know How I will feel about it later I wish I could reach into every one of you Make you know what I know About life and truth I am deluded enough To imagine my knowledge is valuable (Although I have not converted it into everlasting joy) But I have to erase myself again from formal memory This forum is not for me After all Because I cannot be consoled My solitude is ineffable I am alone and you all have helped prove that I can only thank you You will know how I feel one day One day all of you will join my forum Every word silenced Deleted Lost Forgotten This forum is for the heartbroken Confused Consolable And advice is tolerated Only from those who show no evidence of fault Like Jesus They have no sin Or they are too young to have sinned To have had relevant, first-hand experience To have looked their own failings in the face And told the truth to themselves About what they see I am vulnerable I have made many mistakes My mistakes include loving the wrong people too much Over-committing Leaving at the wrong time Not committing Caring too much about the tears of a lover Not caring enough Being too slow Too fast Favoring a dishonest lover over an honest friend thereforeeee you are best advised To ignore my advice My mistakes do not include taking drugs If anyone thought that based on what I wrote They display an inability to read and think critically Not my fault Some of you young people will finally know one day What it is to have made really bad decisions Based on your best intentions and understanding To have the consequences chase you until you collapse in the street And understand that life is not fair God's perfect plan for us is beyond our feeble ability to comprehend or appreciate Goodbye again