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tea

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  • Birthday 02/28/1983

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  1. I posted your reply somewhere and these are people's responses. ----------------------------------------------- Hi everyone. I don't usually have the chance to write...but after reading this message that tea copied, I just had to respond. I would offer this advice to the newlewed...love can move mountains!!! I am sitting here thinking about my sweetheart, who is now in Iraq. I think of him day in, day out, around the clock. I know what it feels like to be apart from someone you love soooo very much. However, you must be patient. Eventhough we don't like to think of it this way, they are all at the military's beck and call. When they say go, they must. We all lie in wait for many days, sometimes weeks for a call or some form of communication. Just do as I do. Wait for the call and try to put yourself into his shoes. What I mean by this is--regardless of how proud they are, our men have a job to do that most of us will never comprehend. They are often homesick, lonley for us, and sometimes afraid. This is where we must offer them love and support and pray for the time when they come home and then iron out any misunderstandings that may have occurred during our time of separation. There may not be much time for them to communicate with us, so we must be patient. And in order to sustain our strength...we must ignore the rhetoric of dispassionate and insensitive persons such as this. Peace and Blessings! Nadira tea-you should invite the newlywed to our group. She will definitely find support here! -------------------------------------------- That is ridiculous. My boyfriend is in Iraq as well and we have been together for almost 2 years and I know that his time is limited and that he is not able to communicate as long as he would like, and so I send him emails when I feel the urge to talk to him, so that he can get them when he has the chance (I don't overload his email or anything), but I UNDERSTAND that he has major time limitations and this is a sacrifice that we are making and that I knew about already when I decided to be in this relationship. Maybe they just didn't talk things out initially...? Anyway...I think most of us here understand that the communication limitation is one of the major differences between regular LDR and military LDR's... ----------------------------------------------- She may be young and she may be new to the whole military thing. As she said "I am a newleywed, June 12, 2004. My husband was in the natinal guard and got depolyed to Iraq." Her hubby is in the National guard. She most likely has never been in this situation before and has no idea that he cannot write everyday. Not all of us are familiar with the hardships of being in the military. She might also have a problem with self esteem and feels that her hubby is not writing by choice. I dont think she is being selfish at all. I am sure it is hard on him over there and he does not have a chance to write but she just doesn't know it. I think her writing that message proves that she loves him and is concerned about her hubby's well being. -------------------------------------------------- pennyhtaylor, I hate posting on this board but ah, wellz, I still care about people suffering through military ldrs. Don't worry, your husband loves you and he'll get to you ASAP. I doubt he's checking his e-mails half as often as you think he's checking his e-mails. My boyfriend hasn't checked his in 2 weeks because they don't have internet right now. A lot of soldiers in Iraq are so busy that you really shouldn't expect more than 1 e-mail from them a week. If they e-mail you twice, be happy because your husband loves you a lot so he put in the extra effort to e-mail you again. Well, good luck. Hang in there. There are a lot of military ldr support groups if you look around. MSN groups, Yahoo groups, Liver journal groups, blogs... I wish you the best. tea
  2. I never fight with my boyfriend... we have small small dissagreements, but we work those out soon. sometimes he compromises, sometimes i compromise, sometimes we both apologize and move on. we did have one almost very serious argument... over... whether you should sympathize with people or pity them. i said i don't think there's a difference but for him there's a huge difference.. however, after 10 minutes we couldn't agree, and it's not a big deal since we were just arguing a hypothetical case, so we just dropped it and moved on.
  3. =/ i don't have any advice and my vacation suxored but it's okay because according to ppl it's just a "miscommunication" and that has nothing to do with your thread.. ... ^^: I don't have any advice except to tell you that LDRs aren't normal, so at the end you'll still need to get together so it'll be a normal relationship, buuuut, ^^ sometimes if I keep day dreaming that my bf's with me it's almost real. ^^; I always keep thinking about stuff that happened to us in the past and if I think hard enough it'll seem like yesterday, then I just day dream and day dream until I hear from him again. o_O ^^: That's how I cope anyways. Everyone has a different way of coping with LDRs though. =) It'll be worth it in the end right? ;D
  4. lol.. i searched my dad's phone.. he probably thinks only my mom suspect he has a mistress so he cleared his phone records and his phone numbers... since that's all mom knows how to use. ... >_>;;; bet he didn't think his daughter would be taking pictures of his messages.. well. I checked, and dad said, "I don't really want to visit america either, I get depressed everytime I go. I think my life has been a big misunderstanding and I don't really care about them. I just hope I'll find the right person for the last half of my life." .... thanks dad, I love you too.
  5. T______T Money isn't an issue for them. *sigh* Money's not an issue. =X If money's an issue mom wouldn't have gotten 2 new cars in the past year... a Benz and a limited edition toyota. T_T Dad wouldn't have bought his mistress a new house and a new car. ... I really don't care how much money they're willing to invest in me or how much they're willing to give me... >_>;;; mom decides that i should drive a 7 year old van everywhere when my sister drives one of her new cars... that's fine... I'm living at their mercy anyways so I shouldn't complain. >_>;; but I never feel like I'm in my own home when I come home. I'm always like a guest or a burden that no one really wants. -_-;; its okay, when I get a job and can stop depending on them they'll be rid of the burden, lol. My bro and my sis...>_>;; the two of them passed their IQ tests and I came out not even 140. no.. the way they put it.... who knows. I don't think they care. ticklebug, my mom literally said, "You shouldn't apply to those schools when you probably wont' even make it into the UCs" Then she encouraged me to apply for a few UCs and more CSUs. Now she wants my sister to apply to my school as a back up and my sister's high school GPA was not even as high as miine. -________- her SAT's higher though. -_____________- Oh, well. =X I don't really want to communicate with them anymore. Who knows what "prises" they have for me anyways. >_>;;; I did try telling my mom about my major... after I told her about my major she went and asked HER FRIEND WHO DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH about what my major is... her friend told her it's farming, so now no matter how much I tell her it's not I can't change her mind. I'm not going to Hayward for Music. I'd go to any actual university for music, I'd go to oberlin for music, I'd apply for music master, but I'm NOT going to a university that's not even in the first tier for music when I already have a BA degree. ticklebug, my mom actually told me I was too dumb to get into UCs. Now my sister's applying to my school as a back up, and they didn't even ask me which major she should apply for. My school's really strong with Bio, but she's applying to Econ because her friend said my school's good at econ. ... T_T Yeah, I'd never know about my own school. There's just no way I'll knwo about my own school.
  6. It's okay, my dad spent 700'000'000 buying a house for his mistress... ... how much he spent on other stuff is unknown.. .but she also has a car.
  7. omg.. i have 2.5 more weeks to put up with! 20 more days... that's almost 3 weeks. I told them school starts on the 5th so I have to go back to school on the 4th... i hope they let me go. I need to go back. I want to go back right now! I have enough of home already!
  8. I just hate being home! I drove 8 hours home because I had to, and nothing is right! Nothing! If I'm on the computer I worry they'll think I'm a bum, if I go watch tv i worry they'll think I'm a bum, if I read i worry they'll think I'm pretenscious, if I'm in my room I'll worry they'll think I'm not very cooperative..... then I listen to them and their big plans for my sis and my bro and how much money they plan on pouring into their educations, + that money is going to make them rich so it'll all be worth it in the end because they'll be dentist and physician etc etc etc! How successful the two of them will be and how proud they are of them and that's all because my bro and my sis are geniuses! WELL, EXCUSE ME IF I'M STUPID! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'm sorry if my IQ's not high enough to be a genius, I'm sorry that no one expected me to get into any college at all so they discouraged me from applying for schools like cornell, etc... (i got in to all of the UCs and my mom just shurgged it off, WHO CARES IT'S YOUR LIFE) I soooo hate being here! They're all trying to figure out if I graduated early like they wanted me to because they want to stop paying for me alreaady! and and and!! I really dont' want to move home and I've been so busy because I was trying to graduate almost a year early like they want me to, dropping my minor and dropping my hope of learning a full 3 years of japanese..... and they don't even care! They didn't ask me if I'm going to go to the graduation ceremony! My BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY asked, but not my family! All they asked was when I'll graduate and when I'll move home! I DON'T WANT TO MOVE HOME AND PUT UP WITH THIS CRAP ALL THE TIME! I'm so freaking scared right now! I can't move home! I won't! ... I need to somehow make it back to around my school and I'll start looking for a job. OMG OMG OMG They can't make me move home! I'll hate them forever! While they talk about what plans they have for my sister who's yet in college and which major they expect her to get, I just can't help but remember how no one cared which major I'll be in. ANYTHING IS FINE because tea is stupid and no one cares about her! Then they actually did this right in front of me! They talked about how my bro and my sis are going to be successful after their colleges because they're both going to private schools, then they turn around and tell me, "Maybe you should go get a music degree in Cal State Hayward after you graduate because you can't earn a lot with your major." WHAT!? Why? They don't even know what my major is! My mom thinks my major's agriculture and I'm studying on how to be a farmer when I'm an environmental analysis major studying to be an urban planner! They never cared and they just judge me like that? WHY? Why do I deserve that? What the hell did I do? Just because I'm stupid? Besides, I could have gone to Oberlin for music and they told me not to go because music majors are good for nothing, then they tell me to go to a school that's not even NEARLY as good as the school i'm in now for MUSIC, the major that's good for absolutely nothing! Why? Is it because I'm even worse than being good for nothing!? @_@ Why!!!!! Why do they treat me like this? I HATE THEM! I hate them! they have no right to treat me like this! They didn't even care about me in junior high and they never cared if I wanted to kill myself or not becauase who gives about tea? She's not important anyways. If she dies big deal, life moves on and we still have our two little geniuses! I don't want to put up with this freaking abuse anymore and bf's always like, "You should try getting along with them a little, even if they're abusive." The only comfort I have is that bf hates how my mom treats me but that doesn't really help when omg~ they're going to make me stay home! What if they dont' let me go back to school to find a job after the vacation? I'll be sooo done with life!
  9. a ton of foreplays~ A TON of them~ and never ever ever reach orgasm before girls reach orgasm.. ... oral sex.
  10. it's called alertec, i looked it up. it supposely has no side effects after a lot of testing, and it's a lot better for someone's health than coffee. ... coffee you can get addicted to. =X but still, whatever you use, i hope he's able to stay up when he needs to... they're all working way too much. @_@; working 2 jobs must be hard. I'm going to start finding a job soon and i have no idea where to start. I think I'm going to post a threat about job hunt somewhere soon. XD
  11. get out of the relationship and dont' ever think about staying in a marriage for the kids. the kids won't appreciate that, you'll do them more harm than good if you stay in an unhappy marriage. Whatever about that guy suggesting staying in a marriage is better than seperation. he probably saw the one in a million case where that worked. Those men who will cheat WILL cheat and they will never learn. If you ask him he'll probably tell you he just plays on the side but you're the one that mean the most to him and he only loves you... yeah right! if he loves you at all then he wouldn't be taking pictures of girls on his lap AND bringing the pictures home risking you being able to find those. If he cares in the least bit he would have never kept any tracable items... and if he loves and respect your family for the least bit he wouldn't even think about lying about his where abouts or having a woman on his lap. ... sick and disgusting. he obviously can't control his lower half of the body too well and does not respect you in the least... don't even bother with him. get out asap and move on.
  12. lol, i was just complaining to bf about how he doesn't have time for me.. (a few days ago) and =/ yeah, really there's nothing he can do. =/ @_@;; the military has been slave driving all of them! it's so sad... =X lee8, your husband could be suffering from PTSD. Look to see if you can get him counseling, and try not to expect him to be the same as before. I have a little PTSD thing too... and I'm definitely not the same person as before the incident... but =) you're his best support. If you can't understand him he'll truly be alone. There's no way they can come back from Iraq without becoming a different person... but maybe with your help he can at least get over part of the shadow. I hope there's some way you can make your relationship work. @_@ I hope we all make it. This whole military relationship thing is near impossible... but at least we can just bail if we don't want it anymore, they can't even bail out. =( They're going to be there until their contracts are up... and >_>;; they might even want to stay for longer. Goodgirl, my roommate told me there's a medicine ppl can take to stay awake... there's no side effects and it's not an illegal drug. It's dangerous in the sense that you'll be awake so some people will forget they need sleep... but if people can remember that they need sleep and sleep when it's time to sleep then the drug is legal without side effects. >_>;; kind of scary though, a little pill can keep you awake for 16 hours.
  13. 1. Where was it? My apt on my bed. 2. How was it? It hurt! 3. Do u cherish it or are embarrassed by it? it was good memory despite hurting so much 4. How wud u like to change it, if u can? I knew I should have surgically removed my hymen. UGH, can't forget the pain now.
  14. why not go for someone both attractive and with a nice personality? girls are apples... guys can be lemons.
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