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chamachama

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  1. Sorry, my bad. You're right. This isn't the thread for logical responses.
  2. I'm sorry but you're watching movies that you deemed "our movie" and wondering why you can't stop thinking about him?
  3. This should be its own thread. That said, wow.... I am so sorry that you are going through that. What a piece of ***t he is. He is a coward and you are MUCH better off now. Its time to heal and create a new better life for yourself... Keep posting here. Do NOT contact him. No contact and healing and doing new fun cool things with new cool people and lots of healthy activities should be the new elements in your life.
  4. Well I saw that dude you showed me a pic of who violently groped you that time you and your friend went with those random guys to their place. I was drunk but I knew it was him. He was even coming on to some other poor girl super strong again a few seats down from me. I lost my s**t. Went up to him, told the girl to go away and she gladly did. That got his attention real quick. Told him that he assaulted my ex and if he denied it he would be taking a trip to the ER that night. I was ready to totally dismantle the guy (and you were right... not a small man at all), when he did the unthinkable and completely apologized to me siting that he was wasted and wished that he could say he was sorry to you (although I don't believe that at all after seeing him basically groping that other girl the same way). Totally took me off guard. I was expecting him to get in my face forcing me to react harshly toward him. But he didn't. I told him that if he ever goes near you again that I swear on my fathers grave that I will come find him no matter where he is and bury him where he stood. He bought me a drink and again apologized profusely. I can't f'ng believe that I still care, even after all the stuff you put me though. I guess the thought of that total moron hurting you or scaring you still makes my blood biol. It shouldn't but it does. Anyway, I am pretty sure that if you ever see him again, he will run and not walk the other way from you. I made him basically crap himself. He was white as a ghost. I don't really understand why I still give an f about you like that. I wish that I didn't. I still never want to see you or hear from you ever again. I still can't stand you and the way you treated me. I still think you are a selfish little f'ing monster incapable of actually caring about anyone other than yourself. Part of me hates that I did that for you. The other part knows it was the right thing to do. If I hadn't, he might have thought it alright to try it again with you if he gets the chance. Now he knows that if he does it will be a very unwise decision for him. But maybe if you stayed the f out of trouble in the first place I wouldn't of had to threaten someone like that. Whatever. Go take a running leap off a short pier. Jerk. That WILL be the very last time that I ever help you. And I am so glad that you will never know that I did either. I want no excuses for you to ever think its ok to contact me. Its not, and it never ever will be. There is nothing you could ever say to me that will ever get me back in your life. You suck and shall stay in the "you suck" list permanently.
  5. Someone unfortunately mentioned you last night. Basically just asked if I was still with you. I simply said no, that's long over and done and we don't talk anymore. For some stupid reason the words "we don't talk anymore" stuck in my throat and I thought about you more in depth for a while. I wen't outside with my friends for a change of scenery and tried to push you out of my brain so to speak. A paraplegic girl in a motorized wheelchair was stuck trying to move between two snowbanks. I ran over and helped her get through the pass by lifting the chair a bit and maneuvering it through the ice piles. My friends who were outside saw this and some of them were saying how much of a great guy I am always helping others in need and how big my heart always is. M says "I can't even fathom you being single. You're this great guy who's kind, (she said hot too), and interesting and funny and just great to be around all the time. And you seem to have given up on finding someone chama... why is that? I've never seen you like this for so long" I didn't know what to say to her. At that moment I thought about what you said to me in your last text... "I never loved you!..." You have no idea how much that hurt. Maybe that's the reason. I think that my guard has been way up since you said that to me. I'm afraid to show myself again. Afraid to be vulnerable to someone. Whether you meant it or said it just to hurt me, it still had far reaching affects on me I guess. You totally suck for saying things like that to me. Yes I was obviously super angry at you, and still am. You seriously deserve it. My emails were said tongue in cheek. A lot of what I said in them was just me joking. Yes after that last night at your place, I did want to hang out a bit and have fun with you again once in a while. But that's about all. I wasn't looking for much more than that. All I ever really wanted to do with you was be more than an fwb for you. And for that, you turn on me in such a vile hurtful way. The good times that we had, I wanted to add to them a bit. Collect good times with someone I enjoyed being with. You were so self absorbed in your world that you never understood that I want'ed the simplest of things from you. To have fun with you. I feel ashamed that I wanted that with someone who apparently didn't love me the entire time and must have been faking it or something. Why would you let it go so far? Why would you continue to contact me after we were done? I never reached out to you. You always reached out to me. When we broke up I was always fine with moving on. I know how to heal for myself. Why didn't you just leave me alone to heal? Why couldn't you just let go? Selfishness I guess is the answer. Please never ever attempt to involve yourself with me in any way ever again. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to know you. I don't love you that's for sure. I don't even like you. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to be your fwb. I just don't want you, at all. The thought of you literally makes me sick now. I'll eventually open myself to someone again. I'll eventually patch up that chip you gave me on my shoulder. I know that my friend is right and I need to allow someone to get to know me again. We were only seriously together for less than a year. I can't believe the damage you did in such a short time with me. You really are a little monster. I feel bad for your next victims. They don't know the depths you will go to inflict pain on them. How do you live with yourself doing that to good people? I hope you think about that sometimes. I hope it burns in some way but I am sure it doesn't. You never did have the capability to show empathy or sympathy. Wonder what that actually means for you. You never seemed to feel for anyone other than yourself. I'm not like that. I feel for people. You should try it sometime. It might humanize you a bit.
  6. I haven't really thought about you for a long while now, but for some reason walking to work this morning our last (and final) fight popped into my head. But it was actually a good thing. It gave me real clarity. I realized that I was well within my right to act and respond the way that I did. You turned on me for what? For holding myself in a higher regard than an F buddy for you? When you boil it all down that's exactly what occurred. And we have never been just friends. Just friends simply doesn't fly with us and you know it. It never did. We always end up flirting and sexting and you sending me some enticing pics etc... we love(d) turning each other on. Always have. We have always had an intimate connection. And because I don't want to be just another F toy for you, you turn on me with that vial side of you trashing me. You f'ing show your friend our text exchange and spew that garbage at me because I don't want to be another F toy for you? You really do make me sick when I think about it. You suck so bad and you were wrong in every possible way. You have no honor. No respect for yourself, or for people who actually care and want to be real in your life. You give no effort and you are so selfish and self absorbed its amazing that I even gave you the f'ing time of day for as long as I did. And you had the audacity to ask me (out of the blue) to crash at my place that first night because you weren't feeling well. I took you in and let you sleep on my couch. I fed you and treated you with kindness because that's who I am. After all the crap you have put me through I still did that and welcomed you with open arms. You take advantage of kindness. I have no idea what I was thinking. I should never have answered your text. I never will again. The decisions that you make in life and the way you treat good people around you, define exactly who you are. And you are a piece of garbage in my eyes now. You deserve no forgiveness this time. And you will never have it from me. And if you show up on Sunday just know that I basically despise you. And so does every one of my friends. You don't belong there. Stay the F away.
  7. Usually people string people along because they are trying to get ready for dating "someone else". Not the person they are stringing along. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period. Stop having contact with him completely, and start healing. You're wasting your time, energy, heart, and pride on a guy who doesn't want you. Sorry, had to be said.
  8. Ok, I keep reading this and looking at your avatar and I can't stop laughing just a little bit. Because the cat.. I swear I have tears running down my face typing this and laughing. Ok ok ok I'm good now. Please continue.
  9. I suggest next time you feel like contacting her, just slam your nuts in the desk draw a few times. Same result, only you don't end up feeling like someone took out your heart, placed it in the toilet, and shat on it before flushing. Write those letters here from now on brother. No contact means no contact.
  10. LOL! Nah... she isn't worth it. She has zero effect on my life aside from some passing thoughts that grow fewer and fewer every week. My revenge is to rock life, and live a happy cool existence without her. Besides, the last thing I want is contact with her. She's basically a demon parasite who entered through my privates and lodged herself in my brain. I don't want to hear from her ever again. Seriously. Nothing is worth risking her thinking its ok to contact me again for whatever reason. I write my thoughts here. That's good enough for me.
  11. Meh.... I don't need to have this out there. You're dead to me. Enough said.
  12. Continued.... You will be ignored completely and I will never bring you up again for the rest of my life. I am making a promise to myself, today, on the day my dad passed away, that you will never rent space in my mind again after today. Ignored, forgotten, deleted, erased, and indifferent toward you from this day on. The above was my temporary anger. I will not be angry for long. I will be indifferent and not care at all about you even a little bit. I will just never ever speak to you again and know that if you're around me, I will pay you zero mind. You're like an insect. Goodbye.
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