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dimstar

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  1. I can relate to what you are going through. When I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, I convinced myself I needed to get out. When she started to pack her stuff, I paniced and asked her to give us a try again. It's been rocky between us since then, with me constantly wondering what she is doing when she goes out, or who she is talking to on the phone. What has your girlfriend done to ensure she will never cheat on you again? I have done so much for my girlfriend, treated her so well that I think she finally understands what she has to lose if she continues with her nonsense behaviour. She has even willingly shown me her MSN and phone history to ensure me she's not talking to any guys. She tells me all the time now she doesn't want to hurt me and especially doesn't want to lose me. If your relationship is based on true love, I do believe you can work through this but it's her that needs to make a stronger effort.
  2. Two years ago when i was seeking a serious relationship, I tried link removed, Friendfinder, Lemontonic and Lavalife. The only one that really worked for me was Lavalife. My motivation for using dating sites is you can find people who are looking for the same thing, love and relationship. It also helps to find people with common interests, likes, dislikes. I really only used Lavalife to send smiles and initiate a chat. Once I got a good feeling about the person, we would exchange emails and then chat outside Lavalife on MSN or the phone. The last person I've meet on Lavalife I've been with for over a year. My sister just got married a few months back to someone she meet from Lavalife. And my girlfriend's sister used Lavalife to meet her boyfriend whom she is building a home and life with. I know of other success stories from dating sites as well.
  3. Thank you to everyone in this thread for their support, advice and understanding. Last night, I sat down with my parents and had a family meeting. Before the meeting, I kept thinking to myself that I have to be strong and stay true to my heart. I would not let my parent's and my anger take control of my emotions. Surprisingly, my parents were calm and gave their reasoning. My mom basically she could never accept my girlfriend and her daughter because she was worried for me. She talked about very odd subjects such as what if the biological father came back for her daughter and tried to harm me or what if my girlfriend's daughter disobeys me because I'm not her father. I tried to reassure my mom that no one can see the future and that she was thinking too much about the bad things that could happen. At this point, I didn't ask for their acceptance, only a chance to live my life and be with my girl. I did not back down because I wasn't prepared to give up my happiness and love. After a hour or so, they finally realized I wasn't going to change my decision and they said they would let me live my life but they still expressed their disapproval. In the end, it wasn't the resolution I was hoping for, but I can see that my parents are willing to be more tolerant of my relationship with my girlfriend. In the meantime, I will not talk about my girlfriend to my parents, I cannot bring her to family events but I strongly believe that I can eventually make my parents see how happy I am in my relationship and they will understand and finally approve. I know this takes time but I'll be patient. Even my sister said that she will do everything possible to ease my girlfriend and her daughter into my family because it's not fair to them to not be able to attend family events just because our parents are close-minded. Like I said before, I was hoping for a better solution but I'm happy that I'll no longer be so stressed out. My girlfriend was also happy over this news and is still standing by me through all of this. Again, thanks to all for listening.
  4. I was probably not too clear on this but we've talked about marriage but I don't see that happening for at least another year or two. All I ask from my parents is to give me a chance ... a chance to show them how happy my girlfriend and her daughter make me.
  5. It was only 6 months ago that I was living with my parents. When they first found out I was dating a caucasian girl, they were upset and acted irrationally. That's when I packed up and moved out. They realized I was being serious and begged me to come back and would accept my decision. I did go back home for a couple of weeks before I moved out again since I had finalized a purchase of a condo. The time from when I first moved until now has been filled with so much happiness. You see, growing up, I was always depressed. My parents were overprotective and never let me play with friends or have any sort of social life. I've always respected my parent's wishes but I just can't this time. I keep thinking that if I let my girlfriend go, I would have lost the thing that has brought me so much joy to my life. Thank you for your advice. Perhaps reasoning with her is not the best approach. I do tell my mom I love her but she just can't understand why I can't let go. She keeps saying I'll find someone better but I don't want to find anyone else. I know in my heart I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
  6. Thank you for the advice. I just pray my mom doesn't do something to hurt herself. She tends to get very emotional and cannot deal with stress easily. She has already told me she's going to die if I don't let go, which in turn has made it so stressful on myself. I'm trying to keep the communication channel open but it seems my mom and dad will never change their decision. I tell my mom that it's up to her to bring happiness back into the family but she continues to remind me that she's raised me and made sacrifices and now it's my turn to do the same. Everytime they call me, I do feel some guilt and feel stressed. I just wish I could make the pain go away so I can be happy again and not have to worry so much.
  7. I'm 28 and my girlfriend is 23, so she had her daughter in high school. I've accepted that because her daughter is a part of her. We've been together for almost 6 months but in that short time, we've developed such a strong bond and I love her so much. She treats me so good and is the most kind-hearted, caring and sweet girl I've ever met. I'm so lucky to have met her. We've talked about marriage, building a home together, having kids, growing old together. I would do anything to make her and her daughter smile and laugh. My parents only found out about her daughter recently. I wanted them to get to know my girlfriend first without judging her. The other issue my parents have is that my girlfriend is caucasian. I'm just saddened my parents cannot accept my decision. I don't want to break ties with them and I don't want to hurt them but I don't want to give up my happiness to please them. All I've ever wanted in life was to meet the right girl, fall in love and be happy. I have done nothing wrong ... I didn't murder, steal or lie, I just fell in love.
  8. Here's my story so far ... I met a wonderful girl and after a week of dating, she told me she had a 5yr old daughter. At first, I wasn't sure about our relationship but I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did. After several months, I can honestly say I'm in love and want to spend the rest of my life with her and her daughter. My problem is my parents bitterly disapprove of my relationship. You see, I'm an Asian male and my parents are very traditional. They would rather die than see me continue my relationship with this girl. This has placed a lot of stress on myself, my family and my relationship. I know my parents are acting irrationally and I've tried to convince them that they have to let me live my own life and be happy for me. I've even told my mom that if she loves me unconditionally, she would want me to be happy. She said she wanted me to be happy but would never accept my girlfriend and her daughter. This really hurts because I would do anything for my parents but will not give up my happiness and my life. I've even told them that if I did let go, I would resent them for my rest of my life and they seemed to be okay with that. My sadness has almost turned into anger and hate. I just can't understand why my own parents cannot be happy for me when everyone I know is. They keeping begging me to reconsider my decision to be with her and continue to make me feel guilty about disrespecting them. I don't know what to do or think anymore. This sadness and anger has affected my life and I'm afraid it'll start affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. My girlfriend says she'll stand by me no matter what but is deeply hurt and worried about my relationship with my family. I've been thinking about cutting off ties completely until my parents can start thinking rationally and start talking to me with an open-mind but at the same time, I don't think their stubborness will allow this. I seriously believe my mother would go insane or die of stress if I don't comply with their wishes. I just wish I had some support from my family through all of this ... Thanks for reading.
  9. Try to forget her. She's not worth it. Does she know you were involved in a car accident? Did she even ask how you were? If she was a friend, she would at least be there for you. I think you deserve better and don't worry that one got away, because there are plenty of fish in the ocean. You need to stop focusing on the negatives and focus on what direction you want your life to go.
  10. I appreciate all the comments and advice. I'm been told by friends and family to stop being shy ever since I finished high school, but it's still hard for me to do so. I don't know what it is but I can't even force myself to be spontaneous. However, I did like the idea of taking some sort of class so today I signed up for some ice skating lessons at my former college. I figure that even if I don't meet anyone, at least I gave something new a try. I also saw a course listing for ballroom dancing but I didn't sign up fearing I'd be the only one showing up to class without a partner. I guess the most frustrating thing right now is just finding a place to meet girls. Hanging around the college is out of the question since people might think I'm a pervert. I generally see a much younger crowing hanging out at the local coffee shops and bookstores. Bars and clubs as I mentioned before is not a place I'm comfortable in. I'll give the skating lessons a try first and work on overcoming my shyness. It going to be pretty tough but I do understand that if I don't do something about it now, I'll just get more upset and depressed that I'm still single. Thanks again everyone.
  11. Greetings everyone. I'm new to this forum and have read some of the other topics and many of them had some great suggestions and advice. Now I'm seeking some advice to my personal issue. Just a little about myself. I'm 27 and have never been in a real relationship. Never even had a first kiss. This is partly due to my shyness and my upbringing, which was overly sheltered. I was never allowed to date while in school and never had a chance to meet anyone while in college. All I did was focus on my education and worried about all the other stuff later, which needless to say did not help my shyness. I did move away to another city for a while, which I hoped to be the perfect opportunity to meet girls. I was wrong, I fell for the wrong girls who 1. weren't interested in me or 2. already had a bf. I'm back living in my parents basement saving up for a down payment on a condo. I'm convinced it's my shyness that's preventing me from meeting girls, but it's also my lack of experience. So my question is where do guys like me meet girls? I'm not into the whole going to bar/nightclubs thing. I'm trying online dating services but never get any sort of responses back from girls. I think I enjoy the anonymity of online dating but it just seems incredibly difficult to meet people using them. I do alot of volunteer work but it seems all the other volunteers I know are already involved in a relationship. I would like to try speed dating but I know my shyness will prevent me from doing so. I just need some alternative ways of meeting single girls.
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