Hi!
I recently ended a three year relationship with a man I loved (and still love) very deeply. We were planning to get married and even bought an apartment together.
A certain situation arose and I could no longer remain in the relationship. It was a difficult decision to make and I felt torn between staying with the man I love and being miserable, or breaking away from the situation and being lonely and heartbroken. The latter prevailed and I finally ended what was a perfect relationship.
We were both devestated, but I later discovered that he was more devestated than I. I was willing to take things day by day and try to move on, with the slight hope that in the future when things had changed that we could possibly get back together.
However, several days ago he was found after trying to take his own life. He didnt die, but was close to it and he says that the reason he did it was because he could not live without me.
I am deeply wounded and hurt, not to mention traumatised by what has happened and I am so angry with him for the pain that he has caused. Obviously, he has serious internal pain and issues that need to be dealt with professionaly, but he seems to think that he has finally proven how much he loves me by what he did.
He says that it proves how deep his love can go and that he would rather be dead than try to exist in this world without me.
How can I cope with this emotional blackmail and threatening mechanisms that he is excercising with the hopes that Ill get back with him? It is difficult to let go of someone who you spend so much of your life with and loved so deeply but I feel that things are getting out of hand.
He is now out of hospital and says that he will only try to "get better" if he knows that I will be there for him all the way.
I cant make this promise to him because after what he has out me through, I dont think I could ever trust him again.
When is it safe to let go and when will I stop loving this man whom I also hate at the same time??
Please advise.
Thank you.
Angel80.