Jump to content

Hi Its Me

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    155
  • Joined

Hi Its Me's Achievements

Explorer

Explorer (4/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

2

Reputation

  1. Day 35 (or 36 as lost count) Life truly does go on and new doors do open up, but I learned that you must allow them to open up! Hope this little sentence could help someone reading it as though the world might seem to be ending at first, it is just the start of a new beginning! Keep strong
  2. Day 5 Been feeling great since the latest (and last) overdose of craziness from her. Made new friends and I am so focused on improving my life in all aspects. I guess now that the possibility of ever getting back together is out of my head, one new thing has really started to creep in.. Feeling lonely. Not in the sense of having no friends or not knowing what to do after work or on weekends. Been keeping myself very busy. And it's not even lack of attention from females as I am going on dates, although I am trying hard to not go all the way and its been 2 weeks since I've slept with someone.. I guess I miss the closeness of having someone to share my life with. To not only be attracted to someone and spend a good time with, as that's not an issue. I miss caring for someone and for her to care about me. And to make memories which will last, not be forgotten within a week. Difficult to explain but I miss the feeling you get when you're in a loving relationship.
  3. Day 27 Which also is 2 months since we broke up. She is completely out of my heart and very close to being out of my mind. I have grown so much as a person and re-discovered the things which make me, me! I do sometimes miss having someone close but at least I am going on dates with a few women and really enjoying myself. Got a new apartment on the seafront in one of the best areas of my country and I move in this weekend, so looking forward to that as well. I must confess I unblocked her from FB but only to test myself in seeing pictures of her having fun without me, even with other men. All I could do was smile because I am over her She immediately rebounded so I know it will hit her eventually and I will not be there to support her, although I wish I could be there to smile even more NC does work. I thought I would die when she broke up with me over nothing. I wanted to marry this woman. But NC, although super tough at the start, is really the cure if you have the self control and strength to stick to it. Good things will come!
  4. Day 19 I do not love her anymore, realized this maybe a few days ago. I am mostly happy and whilst she does occasionally pop into my mind, she is gone just as fast. I'm going out a few times a week, on my own and with friends too. Gone on dates, had some laughs so generally enjoying my time as a single person. I do feel a bit lonely sometimes, miss the feeling of being in a loving relationship, but its fine. I sometimes wonder what she is up to but I don't spend long dwelling on it. I could say I almost "amicably hate her" cause it makes me smile when I remember all the horrible things she did to me. Maybe its because I know she didnt manage to bring me down like she expected to. Anyways, I'm going great and have a lot to look forward to in life
  5. Day 14 Feeling great! I do think about her from time to time during the day, but not in a way that makes me sad or miss her, our relationship, etc. I am learning to love being single and trying to have as much fun discovering what this world has to offer. Feels good
  6. Day 9 Feeling better and stronger each day. Also starting to hate her for what she has done, especially her actions post BU but it no longer upsets me. I think it is more about adjusting my mental state in terms of thinking I had found the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Still, getting there in terms of general happiness
  7. Day 1 again - for real this time I am dead inside. Never thought I could hurt more than I already was
  8. Day 5 She is with someone else. I spent all day yesterday (Easter) feeling miserable, remembering all the wonderful memories together of last year's event. I wasn't aware she was seeing someone else but this morning I received about 5 messages from different people saying they are very sorry. I stupidly asked why and they told me she just posted a picture of her and some other guy making out (haven't unblocked her to see and I have no intention to do so). I guess I needed to know as I was holding on to something which wasn't there. The pain in my heart is gone, which is weird and I am not angry or emotional. I honestly have no clue what I am feeling...
  9. Day 2 It also happens to be 3 weeks since she broke up with me. I forgot I had pre-ordered an Easter Egg online (as this particular egg isn't available in our country) with a note I had written when we were on our 2 day-break before breakup.. It must have arrived today (oh the irony) as she sent me a message saying "You didn't have to, but I really appreciate the Ester Egg so thank you very much!" I haven't replied (and won't) but I constantly find myself looking at my phone or email to see if she sent me the message my heart longs to see..
  10. Day 10 - Back to Day 1 Broke NC after she contacted me this morning.. Details in my last post here Will go into NC again unless she calls/ messages with what I wish to hear..
  11. Dear C, Yes, its me, the man you told you wanted to marry and loved so much and then dumped like yesterday's newspaper. It's just over 2 weeks since you broke my heart and I cannot believe how much you have changed. For you too straight up laugh at me in my face last weekend when we accidentally bumped into each other shows that I mean nothing to you. All your family and friends have told me to forget about you as I deserve better. I thought I didn't as you were perfect ever since we became a couple 18 months ago. I cried myself to sleep each and every day since you left and all you seem to do is not care and party on. Learning that you already are seeing someone else crushed me and I thank God that your own dear brother came to my rescue yesterday. I dreamed that you came back to me last night, that you apologized for breaking my heart and that you realized the huge mistake you made. I dreamed that we took a walk on the beach, just like we did a few days before you left me. I dreamed that we spent the night together and woke up with you wrapped to me. Then I really woke up and the pure joy went away after a few seconds when I realized it was just a dream that will never come true. The woman I once knew, who loved me so much and who I loved with all my heart is no longer there, she is gone. That person has been replaced by a self-centered woman who only cares about herself and shows no remorse or pain at all. You brushed me aside like a speck of dust on your shoulder and you no longer give the slightest thought on what we had! Just 2 weeks after you left.. I know now the person I loved no longer exists and I will use this knowledge to fuel my urge to heal and move on to better things. I still wish you the best but I am not sure the new person you have become will make it last. One day you will wake up. One day you will realize what we had and what you did. But if and when that day comes, I don't think I will be there because you also changed who I was.. Take care. S
  12. Day 9 A feeling of absolute emptiness has taken over. She really isn't the person I thought I knew. I found a quote which states "Just like the moon, a part of everyone is always hidden" and this is so true as she is showing who and what she really is. I had a dream last night, very real, that she came back to me and we lived happily ever after. I woke up happy and excited only to realize it was just the last bit of hope leaving my heart. Absolute emptiness..
  13. Day 8 I got home at 4am this morning as I went to watch a movie at midnight then went for a few drinks. I walked past a club and saw one of her best friends, then more of them. Her best friend looked at me with a sad face and I mimicked asking "Is she there, with someone?" and she made a sad, grieving face and nodded. Barely 2 weeks have gone by since our breakup and my ex is there clubbing and dating another man. I walked on, gutted and went into a club. People laughing, people dancing, people absolutely drunk. I asked myself "How the hell did I get here?" as I felt like such a fish out of water. I decided to leave, I wasn't/ am not ready. As soon as I exit the club I bumped into 2 childhood friends, brothers, and they were very happy to see me after almost 12 years! They realized I wasn't in a good place and encouraged me to stick with them and go somewhere else. I really appreciated it and wound up having a bit of fun, but all I could think about was her and how easy it was for her to get over us. This was a woman who not long ago told me how excited and happy she was to soon be my wife and how much in love she was and now she is starting a new chapter without me, with someone else. I feel worthless, lost and hopeless..
  14. I passed by my cousin's shop before we went fishing. I saw her walking towards me. She looked at me, I looked at her. I nodded and faked a smile, she did the same and continued walking past me. I think the love is gone, its like we are strangers. She is now on her high horse and feeling that she is better off. I am not sad or upset, just thinking about her and us but I am moving forward.. Hope tonight I get to have some fun since going out on my own...
  15. Day 7 I saw her yesterday, from a distance, and so did she. I was walking to the gym and she was closing up shop. I peeked from the side and saw her, nearly tripped on my own feet. She paused, stared for a few seconds and went back inside. I continued walking as if nothing was unusual and when I was maybe 300 feet away, I looked back. She was there, in the corner of the street, hiding, watching. Then she vanished when I caught her looking and so I faced forwards and continued to walk towards the gym... It felt so weird, not talking to each other, not running towards one another as was always the case before. I shed a few tears as I continued walking away from the woman I love. It means something, it means the only way forward is to keep walking on.. I hate this situation but there is nothing I can do except keep walking..
×
×
  • Create New...