You make me feel like I wasn’t worth the Love, wasn’t worth the Vow, wasn’t worth the Truth, wasn’t worth the Promises, wasn’t worth Friendship, wasn’t worth the Talk, wasn’t worth a simple Hug.
I am left as a Shepard to the life that you felt was so worthless that you are running away from it, trying to erase it, trying to forget it. Even in the end parts of that life weren’t worth fighting for you just wanted to erase it all.
I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. I am disappointed. You made so many promises over and over to me even after you told me you were going because you knew that you were the only one I have ever opened up to, that my heart finds comfort in, that you were my only friend. I needed you to help me through it, and you promised and I was the fool.
I still pray for you to find the courage and the strength to talk to me, to keep those promises, to comfort me as only you can, to let me know that the fourteen years of our life together that we built together wasn’t a complete waste, to let our family know they were wanted, for you to want to see the faces of your family again, to acknowledge that we might be separate but will still want to be you and me. Bonded life partners as you yourself promised.
But in the end, I have to face the Truth. It’s not courage, or strength that’s holding you back from those things. Its love, love for your new life without us, love for the person that you gave our bond to, love for freedom with none of the responsibly that our life has.
I have to accept that if you wanted to, you would, but since you haven’t, it’s because you don’t.
In the end, the actions are the Truth; the promises are just the lies. And still, I don’t hate you. I might be worthless to you; I might be nothing to you. Our life might have no meaning for you now or ever did for you.
But I am not nothing, I am not worthless, our family is not meaningless, and Our life had value.
And here I still stand in the ruins of our life, hurt, pained, and waiting for the one who will never come. Wanting to hear the voice of the one who will never speak. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the one who will never show.
Shouting in silence to the one who will never answer... Why?
I love you angie, may god grace you. Because i cant any more. Goodbye