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ks1986

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  1. Ex and me got back together after 5.5 years...lasted 2 months before they went back to their ex...other ex.
  2. Day 47 Today my phone was glitching out and deleted all my texts and then sent a message meant for someone else to my ex. Ugh...why!? I didn't want it to come off as a lame attempt to initiate contact by pretending to accidentally text him so I sent a screenshot proving it wasn't on purpose. He never responded and that's fine by me. Other than that it was a good day!
  3. Day 45: I was starting to get a bit surprised that he hasn't broken NC because me not talking to him was the only thing that seemed to bring him to tears although he agreed NC was best for both of us. I guess I was assuming he was making some progress on letting the past go because he said he wanted to be friends. Last night my roommate bumped into him, he was caught off guard and awkward. When asked how he was, he responded "I'm happy." This seemed to be him trying to passive-aggressively send a message to me as he knew I would be told. I just feel like it's more mind games and shows that he is still hung up on things and perhaps reassuring himself that he is indeed happy. The fact is, it bothered me briefly, but it really doesn't matter what his intentions were. I'm done trying to figure it out anymore. I've changed so much but I'm just realizing that he may never change at all and it seems like he has made no progress whatsoever. It's sad that people cling so desperately to resentment and vindictiveness when those feelings really don't accomplish anything but distancing yourself from others. You can take a hardship like a BU and learn from it and become a better person as I have or you can regress and become more insecure and distrusting going into the future dragging all your baggage with you as you jump into a quick fix rebound relationship as he has. Days are starting to pass at a normal pace again and I'm going long periods without thinking about him. Do I even want him back anymore? I don't even know...By the time he were to be in a place where I would take him back it will have been years and I will have probably moved on to bigger and better things! I deserve better than what he has to offer me right now.
  4. I've read this entire thread and that's where I got my estimated time range from. Reconciliation a lot of times happens sooner than 6 months, but in most cases it results in another breakup because not enough time has passed for there to be enough change with both people. Of course there are exceptions as I already stated, but I'm generalizing here. I will point out though that the time range for reconciliation got shorter the further into the thread I got. It went from about a year for most stories to about 6 months toward the most recent posts. Perhaps people are making up faster than they did in 2009 when this thread started!
  5. There is definitely a pattern that most success stories follow. It seems like an average of 6 months is the bare minimum for a successful reconciliation. Anything sooner is not enough time most likely, however of course there are rare exceptions. It seems like the average range is 6 months to 1 year. It seems to be the dumper coming back in the vast majority of stories or simply running into each other where nobody really initiates it but you hit it off again. In most success stories, contact was completely cut off or limited. This really drives the point home of the importance of NC!
  6. He deleted me the day after our breakup, but remained friends with all of my friends. Slowly they started to delete him, but my roommate was still friends with him and I kept using his account to stalk him basically. A couple weeks ago, I impulsively made him defriend him and I'm glad I did, but part of me just really wishes I hadn't, lol! The funny thing is after weeks of being broken up he though I was the one that unfriended him the whole time!
  7. I'm finally getting around to posting a few stories I have after reading this thread in it's entirety. These first few are exes coming back, but me not being interested: -I had a bf in high school that was on an off for several months and they really toyed with me, but I kept playing along. About 5 years later or so with no contact, they became aware of the internet and have since sent me several messages asking me out on a date. Not interested! -I was with someone for about 2 years and was living with them most of that time. They cheated on me several times but dumped me and threw me out when I did the same thing. After about 2 years, I was curious and messaged them and they immediately responded that they wanted to try again and that they regretted ending things and wanted to start over fresh. I declined and they said they could no longer speak to me and didn't want to be friends. Fine with me. -I actually ended up in a relationship right after this last one and it lasted about a year before they dumped me and I moved back home because of our living and financial situation. We remained friends the entire time and I've moved on and have no desire to reconcile because I see that the relationship was flawed. They however make mention of how they think we will end up back together some day and that they regretted ending things and they've seen the change in me since the breakup and the more time goes by the more they want a relationship with me again! Sadly, I think they've been moving backwards instead of forward...
  8. Day 37 I meant to post when I reached the 30 day mark but am just getting around to it now. I really struggled, but due to events right around the 30 day mark, mainly bumping into him on accident, I feel like I'm really moving on now and that reconciliation is something I could say no to if it weren't on the right terms. I am recently disgusted by my exes behavior in his rebound relationship as heard through mutual friends. He has completely lost his identity in this new relationship and I just don't see the person I fell in love with anymore. For the past week I am finally able to go extended periods of time without thinking about him and I'm glad. Maybe my hair will start growing back now, lol.
  9. Nice to know you worked through it and they acknowledged it. I was in that boat with my ex. They were stubborn as a mule when they put their mind to something and would bottle things up and ignore things that bothered them to make our relationship "easier" or to avoid conflict. Then something tiny would happen and it would all come to the surface at once...talk about frustrating! Can you be more specific about your reconciliation? What made him drop the stubborn act? Did he come back realizing that he did this or was it something you only talked about after meeting to reconcile?
  10. Whenever I am in a lousy mood, a few pages of this thread always cheers me up. I broke up with my boyfriend of 11 months a couple months ago due to me cheating early in our relationship before I dealt with some commitment issues. When he found out he broke up with me but took me back after just two days and tried to live with it but it just kept coming back up and he dumped me saying that he wanted to take some time and really get over the hurt he was feeling about it and start fresh some day. He very quickly rebounded after 10 days and hid it from me and everybody else for 3 weeks before they were official. He even flat-out lied to my face to cover it up. I was devastated and when I confronted him he started crying saying he was afraid I would be angry and stop talking to him. About 2 months of us trying to be friends before I realized I couldn't take it anymore. Too many mixed signals, vindictiveness, analyzing and emotional stress. I wasn't healing or moving on. We both agreed that no matter what our future is, we have to start NC and start healing and left things on good terms. NC basically started 2.5 weeks ago with a couple slip-ups, but totally NC for 4 days now and I know there won't be any more slips on my side. I'm pretty confident that we will get back together once this rebound plays out, but I'm still working on myself and trying to move on. The real healing starts now. Time to let go and just see what happens.
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