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uj2004

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About uj2004

  • Birthday 05/29/1979

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  1. Day 94. Thought I would throw this reply on to help those of you struggling early on. My No Contact was at about 130 days before the current 94 started, when I responded to her contacting me. So it might as well be 224 days....wow its been a long time since I was with her!
  2. Day 33 Going well, seeing a movie tonight with a mate, and getting on with my life. Saw couples shopping today and rather than a melancholy feeling, it kind of made me happy that I don't have to deal with that anymore
  3. Ouch, that's gotta be very frustrating. I am at a point of no return now, on Day 27. If I give in, I will never find out if she really cares anymore. If I stick with it, then she either contacts me, or she doesn't, but at least I will know what I mean/meant.
  4. Day 26 Doing ok, and a little bit proud that I have made it this far, reasonably easily. Have not come close to breaking. I hope my ex feels the guilt soon, she bloody should, what she put me through.
  5. Damn, maybe I shot early in the 24 seconds when I said I thought you would get back with your ex. 17 days for me now of NC...
  6. Thanks for the advice.....and I have actually had a great week since getting her email. Its been the best thing for me, to get over her, finding out she ends up with no one. I originally thought the whole 'other guy' story was fiction, and just her way of letting me go. Now I know she lied to me for 2 months before telling me, I hate her for it. I would never lie to someone and lead them on like that. The upshot is, I wont be contacting her (I hope!!), but I am pretty sure she will make an attempt to contact me soon enough. Im done pining for her.....finally. I now realise she is not the person I thought she was....I think around her own friends/family she is, but around guys, she is kind of a head case. Harsh but true, from what I have experienced from her. Im sure if she wasn't the first girl I have ever deeply cared for, I wouldn't have cared so much, or taken so long to get over her. But she was...and it certainly woke me up for the next one that comes along I like.
  7. Ok, so here is the story, very quickly. I like(d) this girl.....she asks me out, then cans it a few times, saying it will happen, just not right now. Then a few months later (we stay in constant contact) decides to tell me she is seeing someone, that's why she was putting me off. Tells me that's it, and we can be friends, via email and chat. Today (10 weeks later) I get an email that I just love...this was all of it - "Hi there, just wanna explain why u might not hear from me for a while...umm...well....the guy i was seeing...Ray..we broke up..." Now, at first I guess I read it with the thought, cool, she is back on the market. This quickly turned to, awesome....I no longer have to think about her being happy with someone else while I am still nowhere near over her. Then, of course, it led me to think, why the heck is she telling ME this? I hear from her maybe once a week since she told me she was seeing this guy, and so it's not like we have been anywhere near as close as we were back when she asked me out. So I guess, this post is two fold. a. Why send me that email? I only hear from her weekly at best, so why even tell me I might not hear from her in a while? Is she asking for sympathy, or very obviously letting me know she is single again? b. How damn great does it feel to find out the person who tore you up inside, is now getting some of the medicine themseleves?! I have been a wreck since she stuffed me around, and I am pretty happy she can now feel what it's like. I guess me other question is what to do. I figure I ignore that email for at least a week, then just send something very small.....I don't really want her to think that email makes me flinch one way or the other. Amazing how bitter a girl can make you!
  8. Problem is, once another guy is involved, the time she once had for you is gone. I think that is the hardest thing with the 'being friends' thing. Where in the past, they would tell you all about what was happening in their life, now all those stories are told to the other guy, and you just get whatever is left over that they feel like telling you. That part hurts most, knowing all the attention you once got is now shifted to someone else. For me, anyway.
  9. I know how you are feeling.....I have been trying to get over someone for 2 months now, and it's almost back at square one. Every day I wake up and she is the first thing on my mind. That's been the case the whole 2 months. I have no advice on how to get over it, unfortunately. I am still as messed up about it now as I was back then. The worst part is thinking that you are wasting all this time thinking about them, and they have completely moved on, some time ago. You want them to feel guilty for having done this to you, and you want to hate them for doing it to you. I can go from hating her to pining for her in the same hour....it's crazy. So, I have no advice, but I can assure you I know what it feels like.
  10. Been in a similar (similar but very different, as every case is!) situation myself. I think it is a lot harder to try and maintain the friends thing if you are the dumpee. I find whenever I hear from her, it gives me one of two things, a. false hope, b. anger. I think while you want to keep the contact with the person, when they do tell you things, it just brings you down. I'm not over the person in my case, and I have about 8 emails in my drafts folder, all saying how much I hate her, ect. I should send one, someday, but I hold out hope for her realizing I am the right one for her, ect. And you know that day will never come....but your heart has trouble seeing it. So no, you didn't do the wrong thing, and as everyone says on here, she knows where to get in touch with you if she wants to.
  11. Hahah.....do NOT even get me started!!!!! Here is a little quote from her, around the same time she claims to have started seeing someone - "ive got alot of unfinished business u might say...still alot of questios that need answering..but sumtimes...u dnt always get the answers, u never find out..and thats how it is its weird things like that with me...that story with nick..was pretty much how its been for me..nuthin official....goin out or anything...but there was always sumthin....it was always me tho..i never made them anythin only 1 guy pretty much that i officialy went out with...my boyfriend LOL..so weird sayin that" So yes, you ARE right....I am better off, and I think, I am nearly certain in some ways, that little quote holds the real reason she didn't want to commit to me in that way...after all, she asked me out 2 weeks previous to that quote. Talk about messed up.
  12. Just wanted to know how others may read my situation. This girl and I (who I met online...but its not really a cyber-relationship question I am asking) decided to just be friends, after she told me that she is seeing someone....(which I think was a lie, by the way...and that our situation just got too deep for her to handle) But anyway, having met (3 days after she said she was seeing someone) after exchanging calls, letters, emails and msn, over 7 months, now she has suddenly started to ignore me. It's been 15 days. My inbox shows 104 emails from her from March - July...so 15 days is a lot in this case. The last contact we had was a good chat, nothing strange about it, light hearted. So my question is, why wouldn't she just tell me she hates me, or whatever, rather than just ignore me? I have sent a few emails, mentioned in the last one, just yesterday - "I don't really know what to write, since it seems you don't want to hear from me lately (hopefully I'm wrong, but Im not stupid either). It's been 2 weeks..." Got no reply to it so far, either. We were very close, and I think if she was happy with someone else, there would be no reason to ignore me. I think if there is more to the story, she may have reason to....cause she may be confused about things. So I guess....is her ignoring me a reason to believe there is something going she hasn't told me about, or is it no different than telling me to get f'd? Most of all, I miss the friend I had...I don't think after 7 months she suddenly wants to forget me, but I really have no clues.
  13. I think now I can safely say closure can finally settle in. She has made no attempt to contact me in a week.....and I wrote a 6 page letter last week. Sure, she came online that night and spoke for a bit, but that was just out of obligation I think. Time to move on. I don't think I want someone like that as a friend. Even the last email I got, started with this - "So i have finally got the chance to email you...even though im sure i will still keep it short cause ive got to find a coat on my break...30mins is oh so precious but like i said i would send u an email...so here i am" Thats really pathetic.....I don't need her pity. I think being angry about it is easier than pining over it too. She probably only met me out of pity...who knows. It certainly wasn't cause she feels anything. Lets just hope my resolve stays strong!! I don't need someone in my life if they don't wanna be there.
  14. Excellent post.....hey, hang in there. I am 25 and never had a girlfriend. Had someone stuff me around online for 7 months (read my post in cyber relationships...) and then rip me apart.... I dunno if the hurt is worth it. I guess if I find the right girl eventually it will be. I haven't really put myself in the position to find someone, that's my own fault. That kind of explains how I got so hurt by this person who promised me a lot of things, and suddenly just ditched me when it suited them. I was unaware that someone you thought you trusted could just shock you with lies and not think they did much wrong. I wish I was back where I was before that, having never been hurt by a female and a much more laid back guy. But I guess everything is a learning experience, no matter how painful.
  15. I dunno though..... I did feel incredibly nervous sending them, but it was after a chat which she'd expressed worry about if It'd be the same in person. So it was my way of showing a personal side, in the only way I could. This is what I got (email) when I sent the first rose... "i just wanted to say thankyou soo much from the botome of my heart for the rose...u are soo sweet ___..i had the biggest smile on my face all day...u made my day!! Thankyou bud...ill phone u tomorow at lunch time..make sure u pik up!! Luv ___ mwa" -------------------------------------------------- And for the flowers sent later on, 2 weeks after the botched meeting... "____ IM JUST SHAKING MY HEAD NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY, I CANT BELIEVE IT...2 TIMES!! I WAS SHOCKED THE FIRST TIMES, AND NOW IM JUST PLAIN SPEECHLESS... THANKYOU SOO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, AND YES IT DID MAKE MY DAY, AT LEAST U WILL HAVE THIS EMAIL WAITIN FOR U WEN U GET HOME, NOT IKE LAST TIME!! HEHEHE...ID CALL U TONITE BUT U KNOW HOW IT IS, I HAVE ZERO PRIVACY AT HOME, ITS ALWAYS MUCH BETTER DURING THE DAY, U BETTER BE HOME LOL! ONCE AGAIN, WORDS LITERALLY CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW SPECIAL U MAKE ME FEEL, IM NOT WORTHY REALLY, BUT THANKYOU SO MUCH CHRIS! U R THE SWEETEST! MWA!" -------------------------------------------------- So.....I guess that kind of says the flowers were not inappropriate from her point of view. She isn't flaky....that's probably the hardest thing....she just overthinks a lot of stuff, like me. I certainly probably took this whole thing too seriously, but we both did....I wasn't the only one who fell in much deeper than I expected to. Thanks for the advice though....good to know someone else out there knows. Mixed signals....oh yeah I agree 100%! Would be easier if she just told me to go jump...
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