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sonjam

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sonjam last won the day on January 5 2006

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About sonjam

  • Birthday 09/04/1972

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  1. I think it was very selfish of you mother to burden you with something like this - her mistakes, shortly before you have to start of with your own happy everafter. I agree that you should tell her you appreciate her trust in you for talking to you, but that you cannot take sides, won't and that it is something they should sort out themselves.
  2. Dako made a very interesting observation. Obviously when a study is done, a sample of a population is taken, and the results are based on that. Now to get pregnant, willingly or accidentally happens. So obviously the sample would include parents from both those. Where as to adopt, is a process, nothing accidental about it. Now it is my believe that if you plan for your child, and want it badly, you will invest in its future as much as any parent would, with the added bond of carrying the child in your womb, and having the fulfilling experience of seing your own eyes, nose and personality traits in your child. Often people who just "have" kids, or get them by accidentally fall pregnant don't invest in the child, they are just there, and have to adjust to the parent's lifestyle, who inevitably resist to changing their lifestyle, since they didn't want or plan for the child to start off with. In a statistical analysis this will obviously reflect very badly on the natural parents group, as you won't have that element in the adoptive parents group, but I detest the fact that is is "generalised". I totally disagree with the statement the study is making. The sample should only come from people who planned parenthood, and wanted it badly enough.
  3. I agree, Gemini, sending him another e-mail to tell him you don't want to talk to him anymore, will just spark more confrontation, and more discussions about not discussing anything anymore. Simply ignore his existence, and move on. You KNOW you will never get full closure. Make peace with it and move on!
  4. Feeling threatened and upset by illegal aliens doesn't make you a racist at all. You have the right to expect the best education for your child, and get your money's worth. These people pour in from all over, with no education, no money, and a different culture. There is a very big difference between culture and racism. I should know - I'm a white person living in South Africa, renowned for "appartheid" and past racism. We have exactly the same problem here, but for us it is very much under the microscope, so we dare not say anything - else it would be blasted off as racism again. The truth of the matter is, we have millions of illegals here too, thy simply pour into our Country from Mozambique, Botswana and Nigeria. With them they bring weapons, drugs, and violence. Most of the killings and abductions here is caused by illegal aliens. This doesn't make me a racist, since I can live peacefully with my black, brown and yellow neighbours - however I feel if they can afford to stay where I stay, and send their children to my child school, they are welcome in my neighbourhood. If not, then they should be in a state school, and in another neighbourhood. We work hard, (we are both working parents) to stay where we do, and send our child to a good school. Others can accomplish the same for their family- but not at my expense. Don't get me wrong, I don't look down on them, and don't see myself a rich and them poor, (there will always be a difference and I will not be able to do much about that). The biggest problem for me is cultural. Some of the tribes believe in slaugtering live animals in their back yard, and doing strange rituals. They don't really have a high regard for life, and will think nothing of killing their newborn babies or abusing their wifes and children. They eat with their hands, and prefer to sit on the floor. They grew up that way, and that is how it is. Fortunately the newer generation (those born in the westernised society) is turning away from that type of thing, and often now, you cannot see much of the old ways. They are exactly like us! And I welcome them with open arms! I guess given time, and a bit of patience from people like us, they will start fitting into our society, and start contributing to our countries. We have a bit of intollerance, and I guess that is normal, I don't suppose if I pitch up in Canada, because the situation becomes unbearable here, and I don't have a work permit, and send my child to a school and she can't talk french, they would welcome me with open arms. I will definitely also expect a bit of hostility. That is not racism, it's normal and to be expected. ............. so no, I don't think you are a racist at all. And neither am I!!
  5. Ok, so there was a faint line in the Test window? Read this from midstream early pregnancy website I would definitely not think everything was negative. Give it a few more DAYS (not weeks) and test again. If you are pregnant your HCG count will rapidly increase, so you should get a difinative answer shortly, alternatively, go for bloodwork!
  6. Listen, some tests are sensitive enough to give a positive result as soon as 2 days BEFORE your next menstrual period. Since you have now officially gone OVER the date of the start of your period, Im sure it will show positive if it is. If it gives you a negative result, and you are still unsure then take another test a week later... but just TAKE THE TEST ALREADY will you!!!
  7. His mother cannot be his life partner. You can. She can't keep him to herself forever, and that is probably her attetude. Tell me, did she also dislike his previousl g/f's?
  8. Finding your roots may be a very fulfilling experience for you, and might bring closure to your nagging concerns about your bio parents - Agreed But what I'm trying to say is, don't push the people that raised you into the person that you are to the side.
  9. Good for you! Well done, stay strong, the worst is over. You might wonder if you did the right thing, and you might get lonely, but if you know in your heart, that this relationship was not right for you anymore, then you did the right thing for YOU. And that is who you should be thinking of first now.
  10. No, no - that is not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying It COULD indicate that there MIGHT be a pregnancy - only a blood or urine test will be able to tell you. Your period might just be late, due to a variety of factors.
  11. Well, you are obviously trying to get pregnant, and by the looks of things, you might have been able to do it.... so .... go buy the test, and take it!
  12. Well there are a few things to considder. If you have a regular 28 day cycle, then what days were you having sex? Normally 10 to 14 days after the FIRST day of your last period is you most fertile days.... calculate those.... then are you using contraceptives? If you are on the pill, did you use antibiotics during the last month (sometimes the cancell out the pil) Did you drastically lose weight, or exercise or stress this month? It could have an effect on your cycle! Spotting on the day your period is supposed to start can be implantation bleeding, when a new ovum implants into your uterus to become a baby. The best thing for you to do to be sure, is get a home pregancy test!
  13. What a deceitfull girl! Alex, I'm sorry for your loss man. The one thing I hope your learned from this experience is the need to keep it REAL. Secrecy is never the way to go. If you cannot be open and upfront about your relationship to everybody, then there is always more secrecy that you probably don't know about.
  14. Girl, it's never really anybody elses fault if you cheat. It takes you and another person... Not you, your partner, and another. So the blame game is not a good one to play. You did wrong, you confessed you are forgiven. I can see that you feel horrible about it, and the probable reason is the one you saw for yourself, you broke your husbands heart, and now feel terrible about it. How about trying to channel all the negative energy you are experiencing through your anxiety, into positive energy - and try to work on your marraige, work on the things you might have contributed to you feeling neglected, or angry, or frustrated? That way you will get a few thorns out of the way, and continue to have a happy and healthy marraige! We all make mistakes from time to time. These things happen. I sugest you FORGIVE YOURSELF, as your husband forgave you, and move on. If you keep bringing your sins into the conversation you are not really letting anybody else forget about them are you?
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