sunnyp

Can some one explaine to me why a lot of men want 3 somes with their wife and her friend? My husband wants this. I am discusted by it! He knew he was going to hurt me for he said it! I just dont understand this problem. I need help with this. S

Hi there again. Hun you're really having a tough time with this. I agree with thus far what every one has told you. While its ok to talk about affairs with your spouse. It isnt good for our well being to ask detailed questions. These answers almost always hurt us. Not all people know how to tell us what we want to hear. Some do lie. Some do try to cover up. Others just can't lie about a sexual encounter even if their life depended on it. Personally, I would never ask these questions. I don't want to know any thing other than what the woman looks like. Please for your own sake, let this thing go as fast as you can. Dwelling on this cheating thing only makes one hurt more. Generate your thoughts on yourself. And how to improve yourself. Though this wont go away completely. It will get better. Sunny

I think that girls flirt as much as guys. Yes I agree with the low self exteeme reasoning behind it. I do not flirt for a few reasons. Number one is I am married. No 2 is I dont need to flirt to get attention. No three I find it to be distasteful. I tried it. It aint me! LOL How ever this situation your in. I would really give it some thought. You do not need some one elses problems. Sunny

Just a question. If you were cheating what kind of places would you take your lover? How would you cover it up? Thanks. Sunny

This whole thing sounds down right ugly to me! That's an understatement! Though one can get the big H through oral sex. It is very rare for that to happen. You said she had the bi H. More than likely she had it before you two were together or contracted it through another person. Getting drunk and sitting in a car out side your home is really a stupid thing to do. I smile at her stupidity. I cry for your hurt! No one who is interested in a friendship basis does these things. This is betrayal! You were betrayed. I would never just sit in some guys car and talk for 4 hours if I wasn't interested in him! One thing for sure here is: You should see that when people do these things when they are drinking means one thing. They have a drinking problem. As she wouldn't do this sober. So your best off saying good bye now. Don't let yourself get mixed up with a person who has this decease. It can turn your world upside down. And make you into a person who will be sitting in Allon Meetings. Do yourself a favor, and let some one else take on her problems. Good Luck. Let me know how you are. Sunny

You were used. You were his mama, friend, support, bed partner, now your not. He used you to get over the pain he caused himself. By the way have you ever thought about asking his ex wife her side? I will bet you'll get a better picture of why she and he divorced. I talked with my husbands ex. She told me she never wanted a divorce. They were married over 30 years. I am the reason why they divorced. It doesn't feel good at all to know I played a part in it. I say get rid of the guy. Find a man who is not married or going though a divorce. Sunny

Hi there. A lot of people make mistakes early in relationships. Don't be so hard on yourself. I to have done what you did. It doesn't feel good. But I never told on my self. If there is one thing about certain types of women, it is I know very well the type you are describing. These types love left overs. Smile! She seems to like yours. She will not stop doing this to you. If I were you I would dup the dude. And get me a boyfriend who has never even met this girl, never mind heard of her. That's right. Before you get involved with a guy ask him point blank if he knows this girl. If he does walk away. I finally ended up having to do this so the girl who was after my men couldn't get them any more. She cant take what she don't know about. Sunny

Your right about this. Sunny

Well it is simple. When I was 31 an 18 year old chased me. I was married. This chase went on for two years. I did get divorced. I did date him. He was 20. I have to say it was a toy boy situation. Not fun at all. As Neither of us was happy. Sunnyp

Thanks for the great advice on my overly flirtatious husband. I let him see what I wrote on the board. And your replies. And I be if he didn't come unglued! LOL To refresh your memories on me and my problem. This was my post. My old man said that I am the one with the problem. Ok??? Hummmm! This is how he tried to get out of this. It is the game of "you didn't really see what you saw. You only thought you saw that. So thereforeeee this is your imagination!" I will come clean as to why I have started blowing up about this ridiculous game. He one day told me he had a dream about me sleeping with my best friend. Who by the way is female. He said this some six months ago. I have been mad at him more and more. I cant seem to loose this anger. I feel so humiliated. Any one got any suggestions? Thanks SunnyP Member Gender: Age: 46Joined: 21 Jul 2004 Posts: 18 I need help. My husband engages in flirting with women. It doesn't matter how old she is. Nor where they are. He does this in front of me! He boots me out of conversations we both should be involved in. For example: We were looking at a house. The real-estate agent showed up. (We had dealings with her before) My husband and her talked. And talked. And talked. I tried butting into the conversation but to no avail I was ignored. At the end of the deal I tried to give this agent (Female Agent) our home phone number. She replied, "I have Bill's cell phone number, I really don't need your home phone number." That made me raging mad! So I said to her "if you find any more houses that you think I might be interested in, copy the information, and mail it to me! I said this in a way that would have scared Lucifer! Well when the mail came in a few days. Guess whom the agent addressed the information to? You got it. It was addressed to only him! I called up her boss and explained that my husband was buying a house, but he isnt buying one with out my John Henry on it. I explained the thing his agent did. He apologized. He said he would make this agent loose my husbands cell phone number. And he said she was really out of line. This did make me feel a bit better. But my husband and I have gotten into some bad fights over this and several other incidents with other women. I told him that most of the world sees cackling and carrying on lengthily conversations with the check out clerk is flirting. Half the world views flirting as a form of adultery. He said flat to my face "I just don't see it the way you do." I retorted "I don't do this to you." "Why are you doing it to me in my face?" I got no answer. I have become very suspicious of him. I think he is having an affair. I can't prove it. But I am working on it. I don't want to end my marriage. I just want to save it. Thanks for any advice any one might have on how to cure a husband from flirting. SunnyP _________________ If you run with pigs, your bound to get a little mud on ya!

I gotta agree with redline! LOL

To date, or not to date? Smile. Well I will say I agree with most every one on the topic of your dilemma. I have been on both sides of the fence. Yes friends can be cruel about telling you their opinion of what is ugly and what aint. Well I decided to dump the friends who really dogged the guys I liked! I ended up with some ugly guys. But I did end up happier than my so-called friends. I am married to a man who is hopelessly not cute. But his actions are better than any pretty boy I have ever been with. SunnyP

Where have I been all of these years? SMILE BIG! I am a bit disturbed by her telling you she masturbated in your bed! I have to laugh about it. But it is not something a girl with her head on right should be telling a boy that she is interested in. I know I would never say something like that! I am a grown woman! I can't stop chuckling though. This is a come on. She definitely is interested in you. She just has been so over forward that she might as well to have shot you in the forehead. How ever it appears you like this girl in a different way than she does you. Sounds to me like she out for sex and that's all. A shallow heart is a shallow mind. Sunny

I know I would like to hear my man say, I have never been in love with any one as much as I am with you. And then do all the things for me that every one else has mentioned. I would like to always have his undivided attention especially when other women are around. Sunny

Hi Cecelus, I read your post and I have a tear or two in my eye. It is very hard to commit to some one like this! You have every right to feel the way you. I agree with every one who has answered your post. Scout knows what he is saying as well is more than likely true about instincts. Ocean has it pegged well. You say you're a reformed jerk. AWWWWWW don't be so hard on you. When people are jerks, generally they have been mistreated and become that way. Most often they don't realize it until way late in their lives. You're lucky to be so young and be able to put this being a jerk thing into perspective. I have been a jerk almost all of my life. Due to being mistreated by my boyfriends and ex husbands. I would get even. Always with out a doubt. I now am working on changing the jerk in me. It is dam hard I tell you. When I found I was with someone who I really cared for I didn't really give it too much thought. Later on I did this think of letting my kids vote. That's right. I would let the guy hang around for a bit after about 3 months my kids would sit me down and vote on if the guy stayed or not. I didn't want them to live with a step dad they hated is why I did this. I listened to them every time for the exception of once. I made a grave mistake in not listening to my kids. At this time they were ages 13,12 and 5. My life became a mess. This man ruined my life. He was abusive, a cheater and he beat my kids along with me. He ended up spending 5 years in the pen for aggravated battery on me. My relationships with especially my grown son's are not going very well. I say let the kids know her. They will be able to tell you if she's good or evil. Believe me kids don't lie about these issues. I would how ever keep a very close eye on her while she is around the kids to see how she reacts to them and visa versa. Usually our intuition, which is a gut feeling, is generally right. Sunny