parisian_pink

First of all, I would say try to get as close to him in a non-romantic way as possible, aka, attending extra lectures if he offers, coming to his office hours with good questions, etc. Make your papers good, study hard, etc. try to look nice and professionally dressed in his classes, maybe stay a minute after class while you pack up just to tell him you enjoyed lecture, etc. All of these things will keep you in his mind. Then on the LAST day of the semester, after grades are in, tell him you loved his class and wish it weren't over because it was so interesting. Then ask him if he might like to go out for coffee sometime. It is always best not to date a teacher while he is your teacher...trust me on this. It could get you both in big trouble. But you'rea big girl, and it is ok to like him. Just remember to spark his PROFESSIONAL interest in you first, before his personal.

How about a compination of the two possibilities aforementioned? Tell your relatives/friends to POLITELY say, "You know, I bet she'd love to hear from you herself, so I'd rather you call her to ask how she's doing." Then he will call if he wants to talk/reconsile, and chances are he wants to, but your family won't come off as rude, and they will let him know you are receptive to his calls. Good luck!

Princess, This is a really tough situation and I feel for you. There are a lot of sleezy chicks out there, and it's possible (probable) that she wants to find out if your husband is the father just for child support/ something to use to get him back. But you are lucky because you can trust your husband, which is more than a lot of women can say. If you are under a lot of stress and anxiety, imagine what your poor husband must be going through! Yelling or complaining about the woman and the situation won't help; the stress that would create could just drive him away from you. The best things to do is be super-supportive Superwife, offering lots of reassurance, hugs, and backrubs. It will remind him what a good thing he's got! Unfortunately, dispite this woman's sliminess, the child is not at fault here and is an innocent party. If your husband is the father, he really owes it to his child to be a responsible father and visit with the child. It's just what a good person does. So suck it up, help him get through this, and offer lots of support, and you will never have to worry; you'll be the only one he wants to come home to.

My friend was put on Geodon, and she had all kinds of TERRIBLE side effects, so she changed to lithium and Wellbutrin and had better luck. Hope this helps.

A few years ago, I went to Florida with my friends and while we were there, we met some really hot guys vacationing from Scotland. Now I thought they were cutea nd fun to talk to, but I didn't think about it seriously. However, this one guy, John, really fell hard for my friend Amber, and professed his undying love for her. He sent her lots of letters, mix tapes, photos, poems, etc., and I think she wrote back a few times, but I think that while she would have definitely dated him had he lived nearby, she just knew that it wasn't practical and sort of ignored the letters after a while. My advice would be to tell her that you had a fantastic time meeting her and you would love to have her e-mail address to exchange letters with her. Maybe someday she can come visit you or you can return to Germany, but I think professing your love for her may freak her out, so I would just keep it simple, and don't expect too much. Sorry I couldn't be more optimistic, but I'm just going off of what I have learned from experience.

I dreamed last night that I was still in high school, I guess, because some girls that I used to know even though they were never really my friends were in the dream, and we were all going to prom together, even though prom turned into my wedding, and all of my family was there having this big brunch and I was eating French toast even though I am allergic to wheat and can't eat bread. Anyway, all of my friends were wearing these really hideous 80s prom dresses with green sequins and poofy sleeves and huge bows on them, and I was wearing this beautiful white wedding dress, getting married to my boyfriend, even though in my dream, I have a crush on my friend's prom date, even though I think I completely fabricated this person, as I've never seen him before... Oh yeah and there were these really old WW2 era fighter planes circling overhead...I have no idea what that had to do with anything, but BOY was my dream weird!

I think that the basis of any healthy relationship is trust. You absolutely HAVE to trust your partner unless they give you a significant reason not to. I hardly think that going to a public area where there may be other girls qualifies as a significant reason not to trust him. I see SO MANY posts like yours, and they all drive me nuts. If it's open, obvious flirtation in front of you, that's one thing, but come on, let's look at it this way: if your bf didn't want to date you, or he would rather date someone else, he wouldn't be with you. And if he wanted to do something sneaky and inappropriate, he wouldn't ASK you if it's ok for him to go. If you are worried that he may want to stray, remember this little tactic. It works great in parenting scenarios, and it also works when dating (as boyfriends and toddlers aren't much different, are they?): If parents tell you you CAN'T go to a certain movie, CAN'T wear a certain mini-skirt, CAN'T dye your hair hot pink, they learn that it only makes you resent them and drive you to it, especially when, for example, they don't want you to go to a party where they think you might drink, or they don't want you to date a guy named Cobra. In these instances, telling you that they don't trust you or you aren't grown-up enough to do it will just make you want to rebel. However, if your dorky mom says, "Oh boy, parties are so much fun aren't they?! I think it's a lovely idea, and because you've proven yourself to be so mature and trustworthy, I think you should go and have a great time!" Well then, you would feel pretty guilty betraying her trust and getting wasted, right? Or if your loser dad said, "Oh I think it's great that you are dating this Cobra fellow. Let's have him over for dinner!" You may want to break up with Cobra right then and there. I guess my point is, don't tell your boyfriend that you don't want him to go. Especially if he really WAS just going to chill with his buddies, he'll get pretty mad that you are acting like his ball and chain. I would first of all try to trust him. Unless he cheats on you every two minutes, I don't think that this water park thing is a big danger. And then say, "Oh, yeah, that sounds like a blast. I wish I could go, but I understand that you and the guys need a little time alone together, and I don't want to get in the way of that. I want you to go have lots of fun with them." Two things will come of this: he may invite you along, in which case you have no reason to worry, because he would never scam on some chick right in front of you. If he does invite you, politely decline so he can have some time ith his buddies. That will show him what a great girlfriend you are. Other scenario, he will go with his buds, and even if THEY are hitting on girls, he won't be, because he'll know he's got something better waiting at home.

I really appreciate all of the advice that you have given me. I hate to say anything bad about my boyfriend, because we really have a lot in common, and in most ways, he is really great to me. This issue has not been something that has been a problem throughout our relationship; it is something that seems to have sprouted up overnight, and I can't exactly figure out why. When we first started dating, he told me how beautiful he finds me and even told me specifically that he finds my breasts perfect. Because I figured that all of your advice couldn't be wrong (you all seemed pretty unanimous), I brought this issue up with him tonight. I told him that it hurt me that he was pressuring me to change, and I asked why he liked bigger breasts. He really didn't have much to say; he said it's just been something that he has been attracted to lately, and after I pretty much told him that I wasn't going to change myself for him and I don't think he should expect me to, he told me that he could see that I was hurt by it, and that he didn't mean to imply that he didn't find me attractive. Well, as for that, I can't see how he WOULDN'T see that it implied his disatisfaction, and it seemed like an easy-out to me, but I am at least glad that he apologized. Anyway, I guess I just want to say thanks for the thoughtful advice and words of encouragement. It really gave me the guts to say something to him about my hurt feelings. As for breaking up with him over this, I don't think I'll be going that far because otherwise, our relationship is great, but I will be a little less likely to take that crap in the future. Fortunately, though, I really think that after he realized it hurt me so much, he did feel badly about it. Again, much thanks.

I am a C-cup, and none of my boyfriends have ever complained about my breast size, but recently, my boyfriend has started to mention sometimes that he finds larger breasts attractive. Sometimes when I look on my computer's browser history, I see porno websites dedicated to huge breasts that he has been visiting. I don't mind him looking at porn, but lately it seems that he has been less and less satisfied with my breasts. He has even asked if I would consider taking some kind of pill to increase my bust, although I told him that I doubted that those "supplements" even work. Then I found information in the mail about breast augmentation surgery that he had requested in my name! I have never told him to change any physical feature about himself, nor have I ever expressed dissatisfaction over any of his attributes. I love him very much, but this is worrisome. Is it my responsibility to try to satisfy these urges? Should I look into any of these breast enlargement things? Is a c-cup really too small? My friends have told me that my breasts are large enough, and I get attention for them all the time now. Am I wrong?

I agree; you may be allergic to the type of lube. make sure you don't use anything with flavors, added dyes, oil-based etc. There is a really great kind just called "anal lube." It comes in a little jar with a pump dispenser on the top, and it's not very discrete (if someone finds it, they'll know what it's for!), but it works great. Also, if you are self-conscious, make sure he uses a condom, ESPECIALLY if he is not circumcised, as any bacteria there may get trapped under his foreskin. Either way, make sure that you do not have vaginal sex after anal sex unless he uses a different condom each time, or you will get a REALLY nasty infection. Otherwise, some people find that they enjoy giving themselves enemas for personal internal cleanliness. Some people even have a specific fetish regarding them (called klismaphilia), but I wouldn't recommend one if you don't really want one. Ok, good luck, and try to stay relaxed. I actually find that the most enjoyable anal sex can be accomplish while you are on your back, almost like missionary position, rather than doggy style. It seems to be more comfortable for me, and better for him, too!

When I used to work for my local PP in high school, they gave us a binder full of info with statistics and info for sharing with our peers. I held on to that binder and I was basically paraphrasing out of it when I typed my post. Granted, it was prepared at my local chapter, not nationally, but those were my numbers, so I certainly didn't mean to misinform if they were slightly inaccurate. My apologies for an unintentional error.

I am most interested in jobs related to communications and writing, such as receptionist positions, proofreading positions, and anything with public speaking. Other interests of mine include working in childcare facilities, as I adore children, or working with animals, as in a veterinary clinic. However, I fear I lack the precise qualifications for these jobs. I am quite a good typist, though, and am pretty proficient with macs and PCs. I am also able to make coffee, so perhaps I could be an executive assistant!

Kay and everyone, All are entitled to their opinions, but I just want to say that certain people such as WolfPack81 are always talking about their suicide dates and so forth, and being that certain people on the suicide boards seem to be in love with the idea of killing themselves rather than taking proactive steps to improve their lives, I wouldn't take any pessimistic advice from creeps about how you should be so depressed. I am not bashing people who are dealing wih problems such as thoughts of suicide. At one point in my life, I was in that place myself. However, I empathize with people who STRUGGLE with these thoughts, not relish them. People who are too chicken to pull themselves up by their bootlaces and make an honest effort to find the best life has to offer have no room to mope. I can't stand people who sit around hoping that their lives are miserable just so they can feel sorry for themselves and listen to bad goth music while idealizing and supporting tragedies like suicides. These people will never even commit suicide anyway; they are just looking for attention, and they are too in love with the idea of being dark and brooding and too in love with PLANNING their own deaths to actually leave all their delightful morbidity behind. Anyway, the point is, don't listen to nay-sayers and lunatics. You seem like a positive and optimistic woman who doesn't need to listen to anyone who tries to get her down. On top of it, you are lonely because you are shy, but he is alone because he wants to be, as his whole moody persona comes from his loneliness, and he drives people away with it. So, keep your chin up, believe in yourelf, and don't listen to idiots.

In high school, I hadthis friend who moved to my town from a small town in Texas. He was a little awkward, so I decided to befriend him and introduce him to some new people. One of the people that he met was my friend Megan. She wasn't extraordinarily beautiful, or really extraordinarily anything, but he seemed to have an immediate need to get to know her. Pretty soon, she was all he could talk about, and honestly, it creeped Megan out. All through high school he followed her around. He even could have dated very pretty girls who tried to talk to him, but it was as though he was blind to all but her. He even paid some kid who worked as a Principal's aid to hyjack the microphone on the morning announcements and tell her that so-and-so sent his love to her. I am sure he fantasized that it would be just like some teen movie and she would start crying and run to his arms, but what happened was that she was mortified. He began to send her flowers at school, got ahold of her locker combination and left gifts in it, and began to tell people they were a couple. Finally, she had to get a restraining order on him. After graduation, she went to a university in Iowa, and he went to school in California, but he apparently scanned the Iowa school's website for any mention of her, and when he found out she was going to be in a play, he flew out from CA for opening night to shower her with roses. For this, he found himself in jail. Listen, don't turn into this guy, ok? She is MOST likely not interested in you, and as you have no past together, you are just in love with some NOTION that she is perfect, rather than really knowing anything about her. Perhaps you are just so scared of dating that you find it easier to obsess about a person you know you will not get, to avoid being hurt by others. My best advice is NOT to make contact with her. Keep up the meds to avoid suicide scares, and attend a group therapy circle about relationship issues. I hear that group therapy can be even more helpful than one-on-one with a therapist, as it is sometimes easier to see your mistakes when they are mirrored in others.

For everyone, our ideas of love evolve over time. As we get older, we may have more specific ideas of what love means to us and what it doesn't mean, what a good relationship is and isn't, etc. I think, however, that this evolution is caused not by AGE but by collective experiences, and thereforeeee everyone's perception of love evolves with time. If at 15 you wanted to be an actress when you grew up, and a 25 you'd rather be a writer, does that somehow negate your desires at 15, meaning you never really wanted to be an actress? If you were sad at age 10 when you're dog got hit by a car, but at age 20 you barely remember Fido, does that mean that your sadness was not real at 10? No, I don't think so. No one is saying that we do not grow and change as we age, that our experiences do not affect us and change out views. Of course they do, but why should that mean that our previous notions of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness were ill-conceived? I think that the huge problem here, as with many other subjects, is that individuals have the dendency to examine their OWN personal truths and assume they are a universal truth, and that if others do not feel the same, they are somehow less enlightened. This is not the case. If your TRUE path to happiness includes being a doctor, but your brother doesn't feel the same, does that mean that he is wrong? That the universal path to happiness is by becoming a doctor? Of course not. So why should people assume there are universal truths about love? When you are in love, it is easy to think that yours is the most unique, genuine love that has ever existed. You are in love, but others could surely not share the same exciting feelings that you have. This is not true, though, just as cynicism and bitterness on the part of people hurt by love or lack thereof does not mean that others are not feeling love, or that because it does not exist for you right now, it does not exist for others ever. Do not spend so much time evaluating and placing value on other people's feelings and experiences. If you do not share them, they were not meant to be yours, and you have no place to decide their legitimacy.