Miranona

I dont think he is worth your time. harsh truth. If he is standing you up, theres something wrong...and the fact that he hasnt even called you, hes not in the middle of the street calling your name.

I think that you SHOULD NOT remain as friends because i dont think that one can ever be friends esp from an intense love affair. The affair happened, its done, i dont think there really is a need to remain in contact.,

people are afraid of rejection. They are afraid of hearing what they do not want to hear. thereforeeee, they ask others and when they do hear what they do not want from other people, its easier to be angry at them for saying it rather than facing reality (should they really hear it from that specific person).

The relationship is about you and him, not on why he cheated on his girlfriend. Give yourself time to cool, because if you think you are the great person you are, you wouldnt have to be explicitly say it, you would be content just knowing. I give you props to finally say "ive had it" but it does take time to be stable again

Your wasting your time. Your wasting your hopes, your just going to get hurt.

i know how pain is like, i have been hurt really bad that sometimes i think i'll never get over it. and this may seem harsh, but i think it'll knock some sense. i think its really sad you chose to put the center on this girl, and that is has gone for so long and yet you cant seem to get over it or even have a spark of light at the end of the tunnel. its not because nothing doesnt seem to compare to how she makes you feel or that there seems to be no sparks with anyone else but because you live in your own world. your world is like a tv show, its about an index finger long with like 3 characters: you, her and maybe her boyfriend. I think you need to step outside yourself, outside her and see whats really out there. You say you sit and cry on your bed...im sure there are a million people who are probably cyring too and they cry because they dont have food, they dont have money, they probably are crying out in the streets because they dont have a bed to cry on.....and you are crying because of what...you cant get over someone or cant satisfy her the way you want to?? Your desire to give satisfaction should not be on some girl who you never really dated, there are more people out there who really need it. Ever try to help someone.. community service...giving a piece of bread to a homeless person? They may not be able to give you anything back, but they sure would be grateful and you may even touch their lives or better yet, they may even help you heal solely on being appreciative of getting a slight bit of satisfaction. You say this girl doesnt know how you feel and you say that "she'll probably never love me too"....so why waste time on something in which you know the outcome too? If all your thoughts are based on someone making her happy, you need a head check. If took you "this long" and still not over it....you are waiting for a miracle..wait forever and you'll see youve wasted a chunk of your time where you could be doing something else. People say Follow your heart, and i agree with that...and your heart is NOT screaming out her name, your heart is telling you to stop hurting, stop the emotional madness, sure pain is inevitable but hearts do not live for pain, its lives for love...and when it hurts, its def not love. Take heart and live life.

If it seems like she wants you to go away, then go away... I really dont think you were pressuring her, but it doesnt sound like shes too intrested. So I say, let things be, stop bothering her. People like it when someone is constantly attracted to them so when you show her thats shes not the only thing in your mind, itll drive her to worry whats going on. cheers mate!

Yeah, I think you should go for the NC rule. After all, you do feel like she loves you too, so it shouldnt be a problem. But right now shes confused, so she needs to have her time alone and work things out in her head. I suggest you dont wait around for her tho, because if she really does love you then, she'll let you know when her thoughts are cleared. but then again, when you love someone...then you shouldnt be confused. having sex with you probably meant to her, "gettin back" or at least potentially, and i dont think she wants that right now. But it shouldnt really matter what she wants, but what YOU want. Do you want to be with someone who is confused and dramatizing? Dont try to fight the demons in her head, because you wont win. If there was a reason to break u apart, that reason will forever remain there. If you love her so much, then you should understand that there is a possibility that you might not get back (not trying to shatter your hopes tho) because when someone is confused, then it questions the entire relationship and you, you tend to live in a fantasy...you tell yourself that hey, i love her, i feel that she loves me, just confused right now. It barely works out when someone's confused, when theres doubt, or a split second thought of confusion...RED ALERT. dont fantasize on her waking up and realizing...hey, im in love with this guy, rather for you to wake up and be like...I need to open my eyes.

Hey there! If you have been in this relationship for the past 4 years, you really need a smack in the head! Come on, be a man about it! If she has been trying to manipulate you, you deserve someone so much better! She only manipulates you because she KNOWS she CAN and its because you let her. Why do you hang around someone who tries to control your life? Maybe the comfort is good, maybe the sex is good, maybe having someone around is good but with this has gotten too far that you cant even tell her that you want out. Its like you lost your own identity because you cant find the firm commitment to your needs, and thats what matters...YOUR NEEDS. If you cant tell her you dont want to be with her NOW, you'll never be able to do it. So give yourself a final chance and tell her that you dont want to be with her anymore. give YOURSELF a chance, YOUR NEEDS, YOUR LIFE...and if she has no place to go...cold hearted to say, but its not YOUR problem....stop living HER life and learn to live YOURS. be a man about it. If you really want the better for yourself, then listen to yourself...and not her. YOu know shes going to plead you, and she never sticks to it..why do you believe her? learn to be your own person.

The people who see ghosts, are the ones who make themselves see these ghosts. The reason why you are confused and why these thoughts are not going away are because deep in your heart (dont lie to yourself) you want a miracle for you and the person who caused you pain to work out. When you walk away from someone (regardless of who broke up with who), you DONT look back, because when you do, you are expecting something to miraculously change. if you really want these thoughts to come to an end, and if YOU REALLY want to, then you'd do almost whatever it takes to do it. we all feel pain, but the pain isnt here to stay, only if we let it. so if these "ghosts of the past" re-appear, tell yourself that nothing is going to hurt you tonight....not on your watch.

First of all, I think you want to be her "friend" because you want her close to you which is not a good idea. This girl obviously has issues and you cannot fight the demons in her head for her, she has to handle it herself. These are HER problems, not yours. I know you want to be a good person by trying to help her out but you can not lie to yourself and say that you are trying to be a "friend" because you KNOW that you have feelings for her. I think subconsciously you want the friends thing as a step #1 into gettin her to look at you differently and eventually having her as a gf. Honey, you cannot try to do good things for people who you expect to wake up one day and realize they are in love with you, it rarely happens. Even if you dont listen to me and help her anyway, when she's "healed" shes not gonna stay around with you...shes gonna show her "new" self to someone else (get what i mean?). My advice to you is to lay off HER problems, lay off HER..let her deal with them. If she wants to have someone else as her boyfriend, then let her. You cannot act on your jealousy like that...trust me on this one. I suggest you just completely leave her alone. She has enough friends, i dont think she needs your help in dealing with her problems. (sorry to be so harsh). I suggest you work on YOUR problems (i.e. jealousy.) If she is confused about something, then she doesnt know whats right infront of her. Find someone else who doesnt need to be saved. good luck.

i have learned that: 1. Your life has a center...and it shouldnt be a guy. 2. JUST BECAUSE HE CANT LOVE YOU ON YOUR LEVEL, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO SINK INTO HIS. 3. Never try to save a drowning man, you'll only drown yourself with him or worse, he'll use you to save himself and won't help you. 4. "While good things never last, some don't even start" 5. DONT EVER COVER UP ANYTHING THAT IS REAL UNLESS IT IS A ZIT. 6. DONT EVER TRY TO FIGHT DEMONS IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HEAD. 7. DON'T EVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE WHO HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR YOU AND DON'T EVER LET SOMEONE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR STRONG FEELINGS....the person who has strong feelings that have been taken for granted has a tendency to come out a stronger person because he/she knows better than to play with someone elses feelings....they know the pain. 8. there is more to life than someone you do not have/someone you lost...there are people out there who worry about living till tomorrow...live your life. Choose life. 9. DONT EVER SETTLE FOR SOMETHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANT. 10. NEVER BLAME YOURSELF SOLELY, IT IS HIS FAULT TOO. 11. If he has someone else, let her have him. You can not depend on someone for your hapiness. 12. Despite what anybody says, YOU come first. "WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE, YOU DON'T NEED IT NOW."- songline from U2

I dont understand how you can say that he is the only one you felt for..etc. how long did u guys date?one month, 10 years...doesnt matter. I know what you're going thru and I think the best way for you to deal with this is just to move on, easier said than done but if a guy breaks up with you 3 times, then i think the problem is with you and not him. You can not sit and wait for this guy to keep coming back and break up with you like this. once shouldve been enough, twice is too much, three, your in the danger zone...it has become a pattern for this fellah and the more you keep up with it, the harder you fall. right now, you feel like your world has fallen apart, but your life has a center and that center shouldnt be a guy. Show yourself that you are better than him, prove yourself worthy of anyone, then you'll realize that you can form bonds with others that are as strong, if not stronger than what you had with him. If this guy is confused about something and its what causing him to break up with you over and over again, dont spend time trying to save him, you'll only drown yourself too.

Sweetie, you dont EVER make a guy 90% of your life. This guy probably knew you liked him alot and that is why he took advantage of your heart. We all make mistakes and you have to realize that this guy was a mistake, and giving him your heart was a mistake. Its not soemthing you should be ashamed of but something that you should be proud to admit because it takes alot of courage to admit you made a mistake. I think that you are on the right track to end all contact with him. You are better person with or without him because you know better than to take advantage of someone who you know has strong feelings. Just hold your head up high and be strong.