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MinziGirl

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About MinziGirl

  • Birthday 05/22/1971

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  1. The thing is: in this real world, no one wants to partake of another person's sorrows. They partake in anything that is fun or happy... they even sometimes take that happiness for themsleves... but sorrows, they are yours alone... So it is important to know how to handle it in your own stride
  2. Certain wounds cannot be healed even with time... but they do get better & then they leave a scar there for you to learn. What matters is how you take it in your stride because that no one can do it for you. Whatever happens, don't do anything silly against your life. That would be then really stupid.
  3. Touching poem. Take things in your stride. Time is still at your side to heal...
  4. I think you should go into therapy. Your husband has forgiven you & bringing up old wounds means opening old wounds again. Everyone has a limit to his/her tolerance. Your husband is also but human too. If you are plagaed by anxieties, you should really seek professional help.
  5. Hehehe... ok... P.S: I try to be strong... but there are also moments of weaknesses in my life. For me mostly is: when i make a decision to NC... it is really NC... The path to that decision is sometimes however, the hardest path for me ;-)
  6. Why do we need a challenge when the decision is made & stuck to?
  7. Are you sure you are ok when you are asking this question out in the forum?
  8. OK... i agree with the others. there is no point to save the marriage if she is NOT repentant at all. Now i think she is trying to 'bully' you. That is my opinion. My friend: scripture provides a good way out for you. The Lord have already said that: If a man divorces his wife, EXCEPT ON THE GROUNDS OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY, & marries another, commits adultery. Think about it. Why did the Lord say that? I think He knows the pains & the loss of trust in such a marriage that it is better to divorce. You deserve a better lady. Till you have courage to lose her, this better lady will not appear into your life ( i think)
  9. hello there. I sense that you are a christian too... So am i. To be honest, it is difficult to forgive. I had a hard time too with my then- boyfriend. Counselling is a good thing to do... but is your wife sorry for what she have done & is also seeking to 'turn over a new leaf thru the Lord's help?' If not, then no matter how many counselling you have been to, it is not going to help. If at last nothing works, The scripture of Jesus concerning divorce on grounds of infidilty would be of comfort to you. I hope all things will run well in the end... for it is better to forgive... & pray that the Lord will intervene even to start the healing process right now. All the best... May the Lord bless you & your family & keep you.
  10. Hello there. it sounds like you are not all that eager to get into a relationship again with him. Do you like the way he touches you or call you sweet names? If not, i reckon you have to tell him. If you are not all that eager, you have to have a talk with him & tell him that you are not comfortable to get into a relationship so soon again with him & that his touching & sweet name calling are making you uncomfortable. If he continues, then i guess you have to seek help from someone, perhaps someone in authority, to tell him that you are not interested. Ask yourself how willing are you to get back into a relatioinship with him. Listen to yourself. If you are not willing, have that talk... then move on with life. I hope things will become better for you... All the best.
  11. hehehe... i have been thru that one. OK.... to get things to be a little more 'sane'... Cyber is cyber till it gets real. My husband & me met thru the ICQ & now we are happily married. For me, i didn't put my whole heart into the cyber-relationship till i have met the person in REAL LIFE and have spent at least more than 96 hours (for a foreigner living in another country coming to my land for visiting me) with this person. This 96 hours is not continuous. For a local person, perhaps more time. OK... enough said about myself. The point is: how much do you know this person in REAL LIFE? Till you have met this person in real life, you can't be sure about anything... from feelings to decision to commmitment. Anyone can say anything which they like in cyberspace but not many people can go on faking themselves for more than 2 weeks in a row in real life. I am not saying this special person of yours is faking it but it is always good to get to know each other in real life. have a talk about who shall visit who & spend time with each other. Even if in real life, it doesn't work out... a visit from a friend far away is always fun. All the best to you.
  12. Hello there everybody. My husband & me met thru ICQ & we are now happily married. I am from Singapore... now living in Germany. So, you can imagine the distance between us. 1 good book about how to survive your long distance relationship written by Steve Baker. He has written in that book 1 very good advice which i can still remember even till now.... NEVER EVER spend 24/7 with your beloved. It is too much... no one, not even the most happily married couples spend 24/7. So, i remembered when my husband (then my boyfriend) Flew into Singapore or when i flew to Germany at that time, we NEVER took off from our work... except for the very first visit... which produced the same kinds of helplessness feelings when the other departs because of too much time spent together. We found this to be very very helpful in our long distance relationship. So, we try to keep things as normal as possible when each other visits. There are times for kisses & romance & there are times for work & practical living. Also, when at the airport. we keep things positive... like telling when we will be seeing each other again... we try not to allow more than 3 months apart without seeing each other. So, there is a hope... that each other have to stand it only for 3 months not seeing each other. Then not to mention the nightly phone calls, MSN chats... etc... & also, all the $$$ spent on keeping the long distance relationship. About your G/F, i don't know what is the reason she slept with another guy while you are away... did you ask her? Maybe she have a reason. Maybe she is true to say that you are different... or may be... in which case, it is good to find out by letting time run it's course. I guess if she is mentioning about a work trip, there is nothing any one of you can do to cancel this trip. It is good to give trust to your G/F when she is away. After all, if it were you, you would like to have that trust as well... i guess.. Perhaps, you can tell her to tell you way in advance next time when she plans to be away & how long. Then, maybe you can then plan your schedule ahead of time & be prepared for quickly for your own plans. OK... i hope this is of help to you. All the best in your long distance relationship. TRUST is the most important in such a relationship. That is what i think.
  13. Hello there. Guess what? Mine are like this too. Their problem: being controlling. Perhaps, your father had received the same treatment from your grandad? you will never know. OK... instead of putting on the blame now who is at fault... have you tried to speak to a professional counsellor or even the police about it? This is called Emotional abuse & i am sure your country can do something to help you. Mine did. They gave my dad an order that if he tries to be abusive again, he will be put into prison. I was above 18 at that time so the authorities didn't say that they will put me with another family or something... but i guess that if you are under 18, there would be more protection for you as a minor. For me, the option was to move out... which i did. Go & get help. This man will not stop abusing you. It is understandable that you have hurts & anger. I did too... big time. I had to learn how to receive & give forgivness... because unforgivness normally don't eat into the other man who have wronged you... but it eats into you instead. This is VERY difficult to do... to forgive your dad. I couldn't do it till recently. i am over 30 years. So let it take it's time to heal... i couldn't forgive right away too. The breakthrough only came when i left the house ... & i now live in another country too... so the distances in someways have helped. Good luck... & i hope things can turn a little more positive for you.
  14. I met my husband in ICQ & we are now happily married. Long distance relationship takes a lot of time & work... not forgetting the $$$ is costly too. We spent a lot mainly on the telephone calls & the air tickets. The phone calls alone, even tho we have subscribed to the 'cheapest' service provider... costed up to nearly 500 US dollars or more for 6 months. I am not saying that one is too young to have a long distance relationship. Perhaps you can try to meet up in MSN chat or something every night & have a 20 mins phone call every week. (Try checking out various calling cards) Some gives a very cheap rate. Then regularly try to visit your beloved & have a good time. (But don't stop to do your regular work even when you are with each other) Perhaps, you can alternate trips. An air ticket accross coast to coast is not very expensive (check for SPECIAL bargains usually listed in newspapers) So i guess you can with some of these methods, sustain your relationship for a while. Then again, let both of you be open to other possibilities. Who knows, you & she in the meantime may find other friends or even partners. Keep things & options open. I hope this is of help to you.
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