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LaeLai

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  1. I know you are very hurt and sad. I've been through divorce myself. The divorce was bad but recently, I had been in a committed relationship for three years. My ex broke up with me in december and now he's seeing his ex and it's only been 3 months since we broke up. It's very hard for me because I still love him and he still tells me that he loves me. Anyway, I think the best thing that you can do is try to remain friends with your ex husband and his family. I know this is hard to do especially when you know he is with someone else. But if there's going to be a chance of you getting back together, I think it will only happen if you remain friends with him. That's what I am doing with my ex. It's very hard to know that he is with someone else and a lot of times, I get angry and say mean things to him out of anger, but I explain to him that I am still hurt and still love him. I hope that things work out for you.....
  2. I know you are probably all sick of hearing my story. But I don't know what to do. I am seriously depressed and starting to have thoughts of dying. My boyfriend of 3 years, which I lived with for the past year, broke up with me in December for no reason other than "he needs to be alone".. I hear everything that everyone is telling me and I see that others are in the same exact situation but nothing makes me feel better. I love the man and I don't understand why he no longer wants to be with me... especially since he still says he loves me and may want to be with me again in the future.. IF YOU LOVE ME DAMMIT, YOU'LL BE WITH ME NOW! I don't get it? I am a beautiful woman with a very successful career.. There are men who have practically begged for my attention.. so why doesn't he see what these other men see? why is he doing this to me? He is my life.. my everything.. and I love him so much.. I would do anything for him .. I'm not asking for much.. I can take care of myself. All I want is a man to share my life with and have children with. YOu would think I was asking for a million dollars.. He says he's not interested in anyone else.. just that he's having personal problems that he needs to work out on his own. But that is so selfish of him! What about me? I am hurt, angry, upset.. and CONFUSED! on top of all this, my best friend in the whole world just had a falling out with her boyfriend, so she really can't be here for me. I feel so alone. I go for days without eating and when I do eat, I throw most of it up. I take pills to sleep as often as I can just so I won't have to wallow in the depths of my sadness. I AM SO DEPRESSED. sooooooooooooo saddddddddddddddd......... and this isn't some little crush either.. I'm 30 years old.. I've been married before and been in many relationships. I know what I want and it's him... I've never loved anyone as much as I love this man and don't think I will ever feel this way with anyone else.. I am so hurt so angry and so confused God help me!
  3. Thank you stinker for your reply also.. I appreciate all the advice!
  4. Thanks for your reply swingfox! It's nice to see things from another males point of view. I think you are right. Men and women are very different. When I talk to my "girl" friends about the situation, they don't understand. They think he is a dirty rotten dog and I should just stay away from him. But I don't see him that way. I see him as a guy who is having problems and can't seem to find his way out. And I know that if he is feeling sad or depressed in any way, he wouldn't tell anyone. That's just the way he is. He likes to keep his feelings to himself. I left out part of the story... He's having some financial difficulties.. some serious financial difficulties and I really think this has something to do with the way he is acting. But it doesn't hurt any less. I am very depressed over the situation. I love him very much and would still like to have a family with him someday. I just don't know how to get through to him. I think for now, I should probably back off and give him the space he is looking for.. but it's not so easy. I think about him all the time... and there are times when I feel like having some fun, but the only person that i can picture myself "having fun" with is him... We always had lots of fun when we were together.. whether we were canoeing, going for walks on the lake, going for bike rides, having a picnic in the park, or just window shopping.. we always had fun together, always.. I've never enjoyed life as much as I enjoyed it when we were together.. he's my best friend! I don't know what to do.... I love him.
  5. I'm not good at reading other people's reasons for doing things. But I can kind of understand what the girl is feeling. My boyfriend of 3 years just dumped me in December.... it's the second time he did this for no reason at all. and I want him back so bad it hurts, but I'm afraid that if he does come back... he will eventually break my heart again... I think this girl that you are in love with is probably feeling the same way, scared that you will do this again. It sounds like she still loves you or she wouldn't continue talking to you. Maybe she is using this other guy to try to get over you, I don't really know.. but I hope that things work out for you!
  6. Some of you may have already read some of my posts.. but I have to get this out. I am very very depressed! I was seeing my boyfriend, let's call him S, for three years... we were even living together for the past year.. anyway, he dumped me December 1st... He said he needs space and time alone.. He can't give me a real reason why he broke up with me, just that he needs time to himself. I've been so upset since then, crying all the time, sleepless and depressed... It's affected my work, my friendships and my whole life! He's hurt me so much. He still tells me that he loves me and that we might get back together sometime. He says that I shouldn't worry about the relationship, if we were meant to be together, we'll get back together soon enough.. but why is he doing this to me? To top it all off, sunday we talked and he told me that he had coffee with an old girlfriend, Alison! He said it was just a friendship thing, that her dad just died and she was having some problems.. but why would I want to know that he's talking to her again? He said the reason he told me about it is because if we do get together again, he doesn't want to have lied to me about anything............This hurts so much. I didn't eat for 3 days after he told me this because I was so hurt. He can spend time with his old girlfriend from years ago, but he can't spend any time with me... and for the life of me, I can't understand why he keeps putting me through all this.. telling me he loves me, but not giving us another chance...I feel as though he's keeping me on the side in case nothing better comes along! I don't care what kind of personal problems he's having, if you love someone you would want to be with them no matter what! I feel so awful.. I want him back so bad.. but there is nothing I can do! If I wait for him, I'll look like an idiot! If I don't wait for him, I might never get him back! I am soooooooo depressed! I can't go on feeling like this all the time.. I wish someone could give me all the answers.. Or give him all the answers.. so that he'll realize how much he loves me and come back....... Some one please help me! What should I do???? I still love him so much.. we had even planned to get married and have kids together someday. I can't let go, I just can't.. I've invested too much of myself into this relationship to just let him throw it away like that! We've made too many plans together.. we were supposed to be together forever! I want my forever! HELP!?!?!?!
  7. You really shouldn't be jealous of his past.. It's better if he's had many experiences before you. If he hasn't, when he's with you, he'll always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and that leads to cheating or breaking up. My ex bf, whom I still love, is much younger than me.. I'm 30 and he's only 24. We were together for 3 years and we talked about getting married and having kids. But he ended the relationship in December. He says it's because he wants to be alone for a while but I really think that it's because he hasn't been in many relationships or had many experiences with other women.. Until you have lots of experiences, you always think, "Is there something better out there?" So, you really shouldn't get jealous. Whatever happened in the past is in the past, so leave it there! It's not worth destroying a good relationship over!
  8. There is nothing wrong with U girl! The clitoris is a lot more sensitive than the inside of the vagina... that's why you are able to orgasm so much easier when you masterbate. The best thing to do to orgasm while having sex is to get on top. This way, you can stimulate yourself on him by rubbing yourself against him and it makes having an orgasm much easier.. Besides, guys like it when the girl is on top and in control! Okay, I've had a little too much to drink tonight. Normally, I wouldn't share this kind of personal information.. hehe... Happy Orgasms!
  9. I went through sort of the same thing. I was married and cheated on my husband with this man.. I was in love with this guy so I ended up divorcing my husband in hopes to be with him but at the time were both dealing with divorce.. After I separated from my husband, we continued to see each other... It didn't last long. The stress and guilt was too much to handle.. He kept saying that we should wait a while to be together but I wouldn't listen.. I wanted so much to be with him... Well, we ended up having this huge fight and didn't talk for about 3 1/2 years.. Recently, since I had just gotten out of a relationship, I got in touch with him. We went out to dinner this past weekend and it was really nice. Things might have worked out for us as we have a lot in common but the timing wasn't right. If you love this guy, don't jump from one relationship to another! It's the worst thing you can do. You need to wait at least a year... until both of you have worked through all your problems and have learned to be alone. You have to learn to be happy with YOURSELF and be able to stand on your own two feet before you can be happy with anyone else! That means taking a time out to learn who you really are and what you want from a relationship... I know it's easy to say and hard to do.. but if you really want the relationship to work, it's the only way... Good luck!
  10. Been there, done that. I am a 30 year old woman who was once married. I cheated on my husband and it's the worst thing I have ever done! At the time, it seems like fun... it's exciting, sneaking around, having new experiences with someone new.... But please, think about your spouse! Would you want your spouse to do that to you? If you don't love him or her, get divorced, then you can be with whom ever you chose but cheating is wrong and it's very hurtful and shameful especially when your friends and family find out. You will lose lots of friends over it... Is it really worth it? Obviously, if you are cheating, there is something wrong with your marriage. You have two options, stop cheating and try to fix the marriage or GET A DIVORCE... cheating shouldn't be an option! I'm not judging you or saying anything bad about you.. because I did the same thing....I just want you to think about it before you do it and if you need help, seek counseling... Hope everything works out for you!
  11. I believe that if two people break up, it's not always forever... Sometimes it takes a little break to realize that you really do love each other. Sometimes that break helps you to grow and change things that you need to change to be a better couple... Sometimes it helps breathe new life into a relationship by changing things around a little bit, kinda the way you feel after you move the furniture around in your house.. It helps you to see things differently. If two people really love each other, a little break up won't keep them apart. So, you might break up for six months or a year.. but who says it has to be forever? And why do you have to be angry with the person who broke up with you? If a person breaks up with you, it's because they are unhappy in the relationship. You can't fault a person for being unhappy. Everyone has their own feelings.. you can't make someone love you, you can't make someone be happy with you either.. sometimes you just have to accept the other persons feelings whether you like it or not.. Besides, if you decide to hate that person, you might ruin any chance of getting back together with that person.. and what if it was really meant to be??? Do you want to ruin that chance by being angry and hating that person? I know how it feels to have your heart broken. My boyfriend recently broke up with me. But I've chosen to continue loving him.. I don't talk to him every day anymore.. but we do talk from time to time.. and I still consider him my "best friend".... I don't sit around waiting for him to come back to me, but I know that I haven't closed the door on him, so if we do belong together.. he will come back! That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it!
  12. Girl, I believe in giving someone a second chance, but this is ridiculous! He seems to have a problem with cheating.. If he REALLY loved you, he would have learned his lesson the first time and not did it again. You need to move on.. You need someone who won't do this to you. You are MUCH better than that and you don't deserve this treatment! He is evil!
  13. This is good Carl... I believe that your dreams to help you find answers to questions..
  14. Axe, what is your email address?
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