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PAdreamer

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  • Birthday 03/31/1985

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  1. I don't really think it's over the top. It's just that, since we were little my parents have let us know what their rule is: If we are in a relationship that goes against our beliefs, they will not support us financially at all. That doesn't mean they won't keep loving us or that they'll avoid us. It's just the money thing, and that includes any money they've spent on, oh say, making wedding clothing. LOL! I don't think it's over the top because I've always known how they feel, and it was my choice to have the relationship that I'm in. But they would be disappointed in me, and I hate that feeling.
  2. See, I KNOW that I'm an adult and that they really don't have a say. That's not so much what I'm worried about. see, my parents have a rule. If they knew I was living with Aaron, they would cut me off, as it were. They wouldn't disown me, but they would not help with the wedding. Which wouldn't be a problem if the date wasn't so close! See, they are providing the clothing for the wedding party; there's no way we could arrange to have their clothing replaced at this point. I mean, it would just ruin EVERYTHING we have planned for the wedding! I'm probably not making much sense... It's complicated. They already know that Aaron has moved his stuff to the apartment, so they won't be thrown off by seeing his stuff there. And I really hate pulling Aaron into this problem I created. Asking him to go along with it and disappear that weekend is so unfair to him. It puts him in a bad position...
  3. I am getting married in about 7 weeks or so. My fiance has just moved into his apartment, and in one week I will be driving the three thousand miles to move in with him. By the time I get there, it will really only be about five weeks until the wedding. The problem is my family. They are VERY against the concept of living together before marriage- even if it's only for five weeks. So I've lied and told them that, when I get there, Aaron is going to go and stay with his mom. This wouldn't have been a problem at all except that NOW my mom is saying that she wants to come out there a few weeks before the wedding and spend a weekend with me at my apartment! She's gonna know that Aaron is staying there too! I don't know what to do! I don't want my parents to be upset with us, but I just can't wait any longer to be out there!!!!!
  4. PAdreamer

    Anal Sex

    I know it's a fair question... But at the same time I agree that if you don't understand human anatomy enough to know that the vagina and the rectum work two very different ways, then I think you need to learn a little more about that stuff before you start to have sex.
  5. They REALLY are! LOL! People think it's stupid, but if you're looking for ways to become more comfortable with being audible in bed, I think those are the best methods to try.
  6. Hun, I know how you feel. In my first sexual relationship, silence was the key. We never made a peep, because we were always in his mom's house and she was somewhere nearby. So when I got together with my fiance, I was so used to being silent that it felt REALLY weird to make any noise whatsoever. Even a moan! Now, this sounds funny, but you want to know what helped me a lot? Phone and cyber sex. They force you to find the verbal and audible ways to express what your body is doing. We started with cyber sex, and it took me a while to feel like I could do anything right, but it started to work. Then we were brave enough to venture into phone sex. THAT was tough for me! It took MONTHS before I was able to get myself to throw out a word or two. And it wasn't even talking dirty! It was just your basic sexual noises- moaning, gasping, maybe an "mmmm that feels good"... In fact, it's only been just recently that I've been able to REALLY talk dirty to him! You're not a freak. You think you're not a screamer because you're so uncomfortable. You're afraid you'll look or sound stupid. I didn't think I was a screamer either. But it turns out that making all the racket is a huge turn on for both him and me! You just have to be open to TRYING it. It's JUST like when you were new to having sex. You had to experiment a little, and you probably felt really weird and even embarrassed a lot of the time. But you did it and now you're more comfortable with it. It's exactly the same thing.
  7. Ahhh! I always forget about them! Thanks!
  8. Okay... I used to have problems with allowing myself to orgasm with the first guy I was with (I've only had two partners). I'm not POSITIVE as to why. It was definitely a combination of things. One would be that I was very nervous in bed for a lot of reasons: I was new to the whole sex thing; I was insecure about my body and my abilities; I wasn't really ready to start having sex when I did, and I knew it... Another reason was that, because I was new to any- and everything sexual, my body was not ready for the shock of something that intense. To be honest, part of me did not enjoy having an orgasm, probably out of pure shock. It turns out I'm a screamer, and I wasn't prepared for all of the reactions that my body would produce. And... I felt guilty. It's against my religion to have pre-marital sex, and we were doing it in his mother's home WHILE SHE WAS THERE which I'm sure made her uncomfortable, and I really did feel dirty every single time. I REALLY don't understand why, entirely. It didn't help that my boyfriend seemed unresponsive. He was also a virgin, so he didn't really know what he was doing either. I think my orgasms were less pleasurable because there was no romance or foreplay. So really, there could be a million different things that contribute to her inability to allow herself to orgasm. My fiance, however, enjoys making our time in bed fun and exciting. He builds up my confidence and lets me take control. I feel like we're on level playing ground, and that I can just relax and enjoy it. Relaxation is key. Any of the things that might be holding her back, she needs to be able to let them go and just enjoy the time. Maybe she's concentrating too hard. All I can say is that you should not push her, or make her feel bad about it. Just take it slow and let her work her way up to that place where she can allow herself to give into it completely.
  9. Hehehe... Vert makes a good point. Sometimes you just need to unleash yourself. I'm sure if you and your guy feel comfortable with each other, he would have no objections to you shaking things up a bit. Part of the romance is in variation, and even in YOU taking some control. I know it's hard to bring yourself to do, but you REALLY need to talk about it. CASUALLY! Just say to him sometime during a flirtatious moment, "so baby... what if I wanted to...." And fill in the blank. Give him a little smirk and wait for his reaction. I bet the first thing he does is blush and/or get a huge grin on his face AND/OR go wide-eyed! But honey... If you can't talk about it with him, you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Being able to open up and talk about it is a sign of a lasting thing. Don't be scared of him. He cares about you. Talk it through. And if he understands that you have confidence issues, I'll bet he'd be willing to reassure you in any way you need!
  10. OKAY! This is probably a stupid question, but what the heck! Alright, I am moving in two weeks to be with my fiance. I no longer have a health plan, which means for the time being I will not be able to get prescription birth control. He is allergic to latex, and I hate condoms anyway, so if I can avoid non-latex condoms, that would be preferable. I was thinking of something like spermacide or something else along those lines. The problem there is that we are really into oral sex, and I don't think it would be great for him to get a mouthful of spermacide. But I've never used it so I really know nothing about it. SO! The question is this: does anyone know of anything we can use that isn't a condom, latex, or harmful during oral sex?
  11. I think there's something bigger here than the facts that A) he's 41 and you're 17, and B) that he's a teacher at your school. He's MARRIED. I think any man who would rather have a secret relationship behind his wife's back than to be truthful with her is not a guy that you should be involved with. This shows his obvious disregard for honesty and loyalty in ANY relationship.
  12. I'm marrying a guy I met in a chat room. It doesn't always work though. You have to meet the right person for you.
  13. Mmmmm... See the BIGGEST problem there is that we actually live almost 3000 miles apart. He KNOWS which apartments he likes, but his procrastination kicks in at the point where he's actually supposed to go in an FINALIZE stuff... Like actually viewing the inside of an apartment and talking to the manager about moving dates and rent and crap like that. The good thing is that all of the DETAIL details are settled. The only thing still up in the air is the honeymoon, which should be settled in the next week. *sigh* Hopefully I can keep my calm for the rest of the process. I'll just be glad when I don't have to deal with all of this from 3000 miles away!
  14. Thanks for the encouragement... It's just... I'm an "early bird". I get to work at LEAST a half hour before my shift starts (usually more) because I'd rather be early than late or even on time! I'm just the type of person who likes to get things done fast and early. I get INCREDIBLY antsy when I feel like things aren't being done fast enough. And I don't know how to stop feeling like that.
  15. The whole point of marriage (or at least what it's SUPPOSED to mean) is that two people are making a commitment to each other for life. What's the point in getting married if not for that? I am choosing a man I love to commit myself to, mind, body, and soul forever. That is why I am marrying him. As a symbol of my commitment and love for him. I think for me, it's a sign of respect and trust. I trust him with the rest of my life. With my future. With the future of the children we'd like to have. And I respect him as my best friend and confidante.
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